I’ve been contemplating suicide for over 3 years… I was unsuccessful three years ago when I tried to take my life. Later found out at the hospital that I was expecting a baby and that I figured it was a sign that God had made me feel that I was meant to be here… All through the years I have grown unhappy, I feel like a terrible mother because I don’t have the strength to be happy and make my son happy… I work to make money and on my days off i’m at school studying a major I have no passion in, but I know will help provide for us. I feel so empty in my life and I know that everyone will take better care of my son when I’m gone. I’ve disappointed everyone and myself. The only thing that has kept me going was the boy I fell in love with over and over again for over 6 years…. I just feel like since he left there’s nothing to live for…. I know it sounds selfish, but I can’t doing this all on my own any more. he left and won’t come back, he figured it was ok to leave his family for friends and other girls….
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3 comments
The best childcare in the world can’t replace a mother.
I can understand you, I also studied a major I hated with passion (economics and public administration… brrr…). It was awful. Finally I left the university in the last semester, as I got serious panic attacks, when I had to go to school, and got clinical depression which lasted for years. So finally I’m without degree. What are you studying?
Your ex seems to be a bastard. Perhaps it’s better that you could get rid of him. That’s HIM who should die, not you. He is the worthless garbage, not you. I hate people like him. Constant partying, zero responsibility, mega ego.
I think there are better ways for you to ease the pain and stress you have to endure. For example you can pay for someone to kick your ex’s butt, or something like that. Or you can hire a girl to lure him, and then dump and ridicule him publicly. Let him suffer for his vileness, you don’t have to take the blame. You know who can be blamed, so there’s not much sense of suicide in your case. Take revenge somehow, and you will feel better.
And I’m more than sure your son will miss you very much. You seem to be a kind and caring person, no doubt it’s you who can take best care of him. I’m feeling for you.
Because you suffer does not make you a terrible mother. You will never be alone now that you have a child to care for in your life. Keep posting here and keep living.