Vengeance

This is all that they have in their soul. they were pushed and forced upon their whole life, so they want you too to be pushed and forced upon. they can’t see you happy, joyful, free. it hurts their suffered ego. and let me tell you very clearly: this includes their own children too. its ok as long as you are following the pattern set by them or by society, but the moment you shakes it up a bit or get out of it everybody looses his mind. wasted 4 years in engineering college and nobody gave a shit, but decided to take some rest time at home and they all are acting like I’m a thing to be yelled upon, to be nagged on every encounter. as if i am an outcast. especially these female ones. can’t they see it simply logically that compared to 21 years of this life of which almost all was spent on learning and education, a few month rest is nothing. one deserves it. but i know the real problem; rationality and logic has nothing to do with it. they didn’t do so in 2 months of official summer holiday every year, then why now even in just 1 month. the problem is they can’t conceive one doing a thing on his own, they can’t conceive one being free from pattern. and let me tell you: its not worry for their child’s future or fear of his failure. they aren’t intelligent enough to suffer from thinking that way. they do things mechanically. and vengeance is what is filled in them mechanically. they took it from others all their life, so they can deliver only it. Vengeance. But I don’t know why I hate them for it. why I take their vengeance inside and get angry at them for giving it to me – I took it..its my fault, yet I get angry with them. I should laugh at their stupidity. or even better – show compassion towards them. but I hate them. I think I always did. i always had aversion from society and relatives. I think I’m an Anti-Social – not because of some physical or psychological trauma but with my very flesh and blood.  their camouflagic behavior, the loathing in their laughter – it all fills me up with disgust; and when I have to suffer because of them then with hate too. these experts in worldly affairs, these honey tongued Hyaenas who just wait for opportunity to expose their filth, these manipulators of reason and religion to justify their shits….I just hate them, and the worst part is – by doing so I am becoming one of them. my hating shows that I am taking in the filth and vengeance that they throw at me. as Agent Smith put it: “I am somehow getting infected by it”. 

sorry for grammar. I just wanted to write it down somewhere.