i wish i didn’t have to end my life over a boy. i never thought i would be the type of girl, depending on her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) to guide her through her life. deciding wether to let her live or make her die. The choice was decided about 9:30 last night. while i was being ignored for hours on end, i couldnt take it anymore. a sad girl being ignored does not make a happy ended. i cut both my hips and carved “i love you” on one hip bone and “im sorry” on the other. even if i did send him a picture of my cuts, it wouldnt matter. i live on the second floor of my house and im debating wether to jump off. i feel my room isnt high enough off the ground to kill me and that’ll be pathetic. i dont want a “suicide attempt” if im going to attempt to kill myself, then its going to happen. i just cant think of the perfect method yet. i hope the guilt will eat him alive, thats hes the reason im going to kill myself.
he was the only person in the world who made me happy. i lost that. now im going to lose my life. i wish he understood. i wish he had an understanding of what i was feeling. what i want to do to get the satisfaction of pain. i’d do a lot for that feeling and even he knows that. pain is my bestfriend. now pain is all ive got. i lost the love of my life. hes everything to me.
he did a painting in my room (since hes an amazing artist) and now while im sitting in my fucking bed crying and slashing up my skin for him, i get to look at the huge fucking painting he did on my wall. he hurt me so fucking bad. my heart is in more pieces than i can even count to. this feeling is even more worse than getting stabbed in the back by your very very very bestfriend. a broken heart is the worst feeling in the world. especially because theres only ONE person in the world who can patch it up and make it somewhat alright again…….
him.
5 comments
You are worth so much more than to be ignored. Please don’t hurt yourself over someone else’s mistake. My ex dumped me saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, then never spoke to me again. A few days later I heard one of his friends saying that he said he’d “Broken up with someone, but he liked someone” and it made me feel like killing myself, along with other things, I actually did try to end my life. Against the odds, I survived, and it made me realise that we’re all alive for a reason, and that if someone is willing to break your heart, they didn’t deserve it in the first place, much less someone to die for them.
There is someone out there who really deserves the love you have, and you really deserve to be loved, please don’t leave this early xxxxx
i believed my reason for being on this earth was because of him. and i told him that so many times. now that i dont have him, whats the purpose? he was literally the ONE person in the world i could trust with anything i said. the ONE person who would be there for me 24 hours a day. i love him more than i love myself. i dont want to be alive unless his in my life
Maybe you won’t know the purpose yet, things have to fall apart for new things to fall together xxxxxxx Stay strong xxxxxx
Let it end, so that a new journey in your life may begin.
Take it from a man; we are just bastards and none of us will ever appreciate what a woman’s worth really is. You are so much more than a painting and the shattered ex of some blind, heartless moron, yeah?
If anything, you are worth the world. Every woman is.
I guess that idiot didn’t quite figure that out, huh?
Well yes, i would love to agree with you. But since I’m so blinded by his love, I can’t really call him any of those mean names just yet. As of right now, he’s the one who broke my heart even if the break up was my fault. The fact that he’s ignoring me and actually doing ok is what hurts. But yes. He is an idiot for not realizing what he had. I did so much for that kid. More for him then myself