I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that’s gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn’t really matter
How I feel inside
‘Cause life is like a game sometimes…
This is from a song and it’s perfect…people treat your feelings like a game and then your left picking up the pieces when they leave…
Everyday…I get up, and I pretend I’m okay…I put on a smile and I act like there’s nothing wrong.
But when I’m alone and there is no one to see me crumble…I let go…I let the wall holding back my feeling fall and as it does I fall apart with it…
Everyday I go on thinking of what I have that I can hold onto, what I have to keep me living…and yet…I still want all the pain to end.
I feel myself slipping though…more and more often it seems like there is too much pain for my walls to hold back…and I start falling apart when I’m around people…I try my best to shove everything away again…but it’s just getting to be too much…
2 comments
I know its hard but I hope that you can remain strong for your little one….if you can’t do it for yourself do it for her…..she needs you….she needs you more than anything else…nobody will care for her like you will…I’m not trying to guilt trip you for feeling bad because it’s perfectly fine that you feel this way….I just want your child to have at least one parent to have there for her…. I know its hard but I think you can make it…. That probably doesn’t mean much coming from me but I think parents have a bit more motivation to live at least until their kids are able to care for themselves….
But regardless….if the pain becomes insurmountable…. and you know it is futile to go on….then you must make the decision to do what you think is best for you….Your daughter may need you but if you are in a bad state where you are unable to give her what she needs then….it is up to you to decide what to do….but I think you’ll make it….take care TFF
It’s okay to be in pain and suffering, TFF. Your situation is hard… Allow yourself to suffer and cry, it’s okay…
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I know you’ll make it. You will.