Just Stop

I feel like such an idionfor writing this, that I pity myself so much but I can’t help it. I don’t even known if this is normal but it probably is. I can’t be alone with myself. Whenever I am left to think, I decide yet amother thing or daily action social interaction is pointless. Why do we laugh? I keep insulting myself and I can’t get over the fact that ik a failure. But I’m only 14. It just doesn’t work. then I keep thinking I’m special, but I’m not. If I was special wouldn’t everyone else have to be too? I call other people (and myself idiots) and I sometimes think I’m better but the thing is I’m not. I hate myself even more that I hate them.I hate them too.