lost it

I have lost the ability to feel happiness. Today, the guy I like, let’s call him A, kissed me. I think I enjoyed it. But then I got in my car, something felt wrong. Then I got home, the feeling got even worse. Now I sit here, three hours later, feeling depressed angry and guilty. I think I still feel for my ex. I don’t want to. It’s been almost 10 months, I want to be done with him. But he won’t go away. I feel so bad for feeling like this, when A should make me so happy, and is so understanding. I’m just fucked up, and broken