Sometimes it’s just so hard you know? Of course you know, that’s why you’re here.
I never realized how horribly bad I was until I was genuinely happy yesterday, I had forgotten the feeling. Mind you this was a two hour relief, then something/someone ruined it.
I’m the strong one, always have been. My friends don’t realize, my seemingly perfect family. There’s the families that everyone knows are bad, the druggos, dropouts. But sometimes I think it’s the families that hide it, put up a mask and everyone thinks they are perfect that are the worse, the ones like mine. Oh your dad smokes weed sometimes? That’s nice, I just found out that my dads a heroein addict and even after 4 children still continues to do it and thinks he can hide it. What did he do at his last ‘rehab’ appointment? Went and brought more drugs. The worst part of it all though is that I told someone and they don’t really care. Nobody cares, nobody understands. “My dads a drug addict” oh so is mine. “my mother killed herself” oh that’s sad.
I am so sick of being the strong friend, nobody notices. The amount of times a week I contemplate suicide is growing.
5 comments
*viritual hug.*
I hope that will help atleast a tiny bit
You are such a wonderful person and you should embrace it. We need people like you, you know a lot and you dont want to hurt anyone so you decide to stay strong. But we grow into this world ourselves. We discover who we are alone and we shouldnt worry about other people. All of my siblings & cousins are gang members. Mom left when I was 2 weeks old. My dad neglected me for his wife. Ive seen people get shot and my sister worked at a strip club. Its hard, but ill always be here for you. We grow up to discover that life is too short to abandon ourselves for others. We choose to be better. So have so much great things to see and wonderful things to do. Im not here to tell you what to do. Youve been such a great friend to everyone and im sure youve given advice despite your struggles. Now its my turn to return the favor for them. Im here whenever.
You have so much*
Some people here have some really fucked up families… Not to say mine’s good but compared to yours it seems kindof ok now
Believe me mine is fucked up too. Brothers are both married to older women. Have children and smoke weed still. Dads verbally and physically abusive. My one sister in law is one of those who are nice to ur face but rude behind ur back. The other smoked and drank while she was pregnant.