Overreacting?

Maybe suicide, and by extension, any death, isn’t as big a deal as we, the living, tend to make it out to be?

Maybe ‘they’ are right: maybe we really do simply need to “just get over it.”

After all, being debilitated by sadness and “wallowing in self pity,” pining away in poignant poetry, languishing in labyrinthine lament… doesn’t really make anything any better… does it? It doesn’t help you live your life, or reduce the suffering of your sorrows. It doesn’t funnel your energy into a concentrated beam of razor sharp precision, to become useful in cutting out all the parts you don’t like, and severing the ties that bind us to our own psychological prisons.

Though i suppose, like most things, a painstaking process must be processed, in order to gain what can only be achieved through experiencing those miserable miseries. You have to be miserable, to learn that isn’t what you want to be. You have to stay miserable, involuntarily, for whatever duration eventually triggers the genesis of motivation to correct it. Still further, you must try, to learn that trying doesn’t magically equate to success, and you must fail, to know the cost, and value, of your own efforts… and why they are so important.

I realize that for most of us, life is just not fair… but the truth is that we must each earn our own escape from where we don’t want to remain… and we must further earn each successful step, as well as the maintenance of successive, consecutive steps, in order to traverse the perilous paths leading… at least away from where we’ve earned the lessons learned of where we never want to get stuck again.

And most of us will not reach the idyllic destinations we can and do envision, which exist almost exclusively to provide fuel for motivation to achieve something barely comparable… yet sufficient.

But you have to move, to move. You have to start, to start.

And you have to stop “overreacting” to the knowledge that this journey has an absolute end, and that our finite time will someday expire, and relatively quickly, at that.

But… take some time to make sure you’re seeing things as clearly and accurately as possible, before you go throwing your already short life away. Some of you are clearly not developed enough, and do not have an accurate perception of reality, and so you could very well be quite wrong about how bad you think everything will always be. I can’t assure you “it will get better,” because honestly, no one can really know that, and there’s a considerable probability that it really might not get much better at all, or could even get worse. But you won’t know if you’re not here to find out. It’s better to do your best to get as close to knowing as you can, rather than overreacting to the fear and injustice that is so unfortunately so typical in this world. It’s often shocking and unbearable to realize and adjust to, for those who are lead to believe otherwise. That’s why i think we shouldn’t overreact and lie to kids, which only ultimately sets them up for a debilitating fall, upon being confronted with harsh realities. But that comes from parents who are also terrified, and often really have no idea how to face the unknown, due to not being properly prepared for it by their own parents… and so they also lack the understanding required to be able to prepare their own offspring for what they themselves lack the tools to prepare for. It’s a nasty cycle of setting ourselves up for disaster, which continues to perpetuate itself, rather than creating a new paradigm.

And that’s what i think we all need, here. We need to stop overreacting, and start focusing on courageously creating new paradigms.

When people want to exit, it’s often very sad for the rest of us… but any individual can only belong to themselves, and it is ultimately their own choice. If we cannot or will not voluntarily provide them with sufficient resources and coping tools, so that they can stabilize and come to manage this life on their own… then none of us have any right to request they continue to suffer, without our help, for our own convenience.

You should not ask another to suffer something that you, yourself, would not.

That said: i’ve never met anyone who would be willing to suffer my own life… though plenty who expect that i should do so, easily, and without complaint. Only a few other humans have ever even come close to understanding my torment… and the one who has had vastly more chances to understand, than anyone else ever has or will, is actually responsible for causing the largest part of it… and simply does not care. And i just can’t see myself ever putting that much effort into another person, ever again… wasted or otherwise. I lost… or spent, what made me worth my own effort. That part of me is broken, or has died.

The irony here is that this post is, itself, a manifestation of my own overreaction. I can’t quite walk my talk. I figured out the way to walk, far too late. But maybe my words can lead someone else to perceiving the value of that walk, before it’s too late for them to take those steps i couldn’t take.