And I have returned.
Is it a drug almost? The thought that someone on this merciful site understands.
Since my previous posts, the situation has changed significantly. But the memories hold me here, they bring me back. I remember all to well my days of pain. I am numb now nearly, or more callous I should say, I take what I can now, but I refuse to beg for more. I am arguably better, happier. I wasn’t thinking about suicide. But here I am, over one year I kept away, yet here I am. Only the MEMORY, the vague shadow, of my pain.
I still think it’s true, suicide is a pretty word. And much like the difference between their definitions, suicide and killing oneself are two sides of the same coin. One is pretty to see, and the other…we don’t talk about.
1 comment
Very poetic! Your writing and insight is beautiful and I agree. I am glad to hear you are doing better. I also know from experience that once a person is suicidal, it is always a back of the mind option. Even if a person crawls out of his or her depression, life is still hard. It will always have struggles and pains. And a once suicidal person may consider ending life to have relief from them. Just remember that suicide does not bring relief. You must be alive to feel relief. And the struggles and pains are usually temporary. They in time pass, and you get your relief.