I once had a dream that I died.
In this dream, I was laying on railroad tracks, broken, bleeding, and all I could think was I need to die. For some reason it made sense to die now so they could fix me up in hospital and stop the pain, but I would somehow be bought back to life- I don’t know how, but I would.
I remember looking around me, looking down the tracks, and seeing so many broken bodies just like mine, and there were two people moving up the tracks, slitting people’s throats as they went- an act of mercy.
They came to me, and I wanted them to do it. So badly. But I was scared. I started to cry, I told them I was scared. They cooed and shushed me, told me it would be alright and were incredibly gentle. One lifted my head to expose my throat, stroking my hair as he did so, and I began to whimper and cry a little, the other one brought a large razor knife to my throat, and slowly sliced it open.
I remember the feeling of my whole body going numb from toes travelling up, and it was such a fantastic feeling. I remember slowly being unable to breathe and slowly slipping away. It was the most amazing feeling, and I loved it, I was relaxed and free at last.
I remember thinking, I like dying, I should do it again.
8 comments
this is inspiring for suicidals like me.ironic and perfect.
I like this dream.
I’ve had a couple dreams recently where I was murdered….by gunshot though….the funny part is that when I was blacking out in the dream I woke up instantly…… I like this dream too…..although I think the more humane thing would have been to shoot me….getting your throat cut open just seems like it would be very painful for a period of time…..I don’t think death is instant….
@pain. If you lying broken on train tracks i think your alreaddy in overwhelming pain, what’s a cut throat after that.
@procel ….you can always feel more pain….well….unless you go into shock or your adrenaline is rushing I dunno but I guess it would just be another drop in the bucket….I’d be scared as shit to get my throat cut even with over whelming pain though….at least with a bullet to the back of the head I won’t know the moment it comes
Yeah id prob be scared shitless but there’s only so much pain your body is capable of feeling before it stops registering it. I cant remember where i read it but i heard the skull had ivolved to become so hard that people can actually survive bullet wounds, hence the “double tap”…abye im wrong but personally id prefer to be slipped a lethal dose of morphine
@procel…. it depends on the caliber of weapon…. a skull just can’t do shit with a shot gun….or 50 cal…. or 32 cal…. probably a 22 cal…. yeah I’d like that…..go out high as a kite on morphine….or they can put me to sleep like they do people on surgery tables …..I’ve been under anesthesia once and let me tell you dude you are knocked the fuck out ….way deeper than your deepest sleep….
The reason it was a knife, and my throat was cut open, is because it reflects what I previously used to harm myself. An the fact my throat was slowly cut open shows that I’m not scared of pain, and in the dream it didn’t hurt, it was just like I felt my soul leaving my body and it was beautiful. I would never want to be shot, I don’t think guns are necessary to life, unless you are a farmer, I suppose, thus none of my dreams ever involve me being shot. (: