Idk.. I think there is a misconception about the Internet, like it’s suppose to be a friendly free for all of fairness. Especially here on SP. here on this site you are gonna run into a lot of people who feel that there is something very wrong with the world and people are the main focus. So expect judgement here, at home, at school…everywhere. I didn’t escape judgement then or now, and I promise you won’t either. It’s not anyone’s fault how you take that judgement. Some one can call me a fucking worthless shit, and it’s my fault if I want to cry about it. Its my choice if I want to laugh and say.. “Haa! Yeah..yes I am!”
See? Do you get it? Should I explain further?
The truth is.. A lot of people out there are never gonna understand that the world isn’t their personal treasure chest. Life is about tolerance and cooperation, understanding and contentment, even conformity. If you don’t like it… What can I say? I’m not telling you to give up, I’m asking you to be stronger.
😉 and get over yourself! lol
This is the place for judgement right here!
So bring it on! 🙂
38 comments
hahaha
Kikiki
Welcome back:)you are now “real”talk!
I’m going to get back to you, I’m occupied and can’t formulate an in depth opinion at the moment, but I want to add my thoughts to this when I have the time. I love this!
@joinel: welcome back? Why the “real”? lol
@sb: 🙂 take your time!
well i comment that for the “cool”,”real”talk.haha this post touched me,really!
Well yes, you should be able to express your opinion without people getting all butt hurt about it! lol you should be able to say what you want! 🙂
If people had a reasonable standard of judgement in real life maybe I wouldn’t be so self conscious and insecure based on my appearance…see on SP I’m judged by my interactions and contributions here….which is totally fine….IRL….people judge you 95% based on what you look like….before they even know you they have already formed a biased opinion based on something totally unfair and superficial that is completely out of your control…..IRL nobody gives a fuck about personality before looks (I’m speaking for the majority there are exceptions) …..and I’m talking people period not just mates or friends….even parents albeit subconsciously even they treat the more attractive child better than the ugly child…..
IRL people can dismiss me and deem me unfit by acknowledging that my appearance is far to inferior for them to interact with me before I have even spoken a word. I mean WTF man? how can you win against that? There have been countless times where I heard the under the breath comments, the whispers, the snide remarks, the outright jokes…I’ve noticed the weird looks, the horrible stares, the evil glares….like I did something wrong by being in the presence….I’ve noticed all these things and they all stem from some preconceived bullshit about me before I have even uttered a word all based solely on my appearance…..I should be judged on the critical things that I can control not something that was forced upon me…I’m just not willing to be subjected to this bullshit system anymore…fuck it let somebody else have that shit …I’m sick of people and that bullshit….I really am
^I meant to add something but I forgot…..how can I laugh off someones judgement of me if its true?…..”you’re an ugly ************” I mean I’m not a “mother fucker” but for the ugly part how can I disregard a truthful statement? How can I just laugh something off as bullshit with so much honesty and validity in it? you can disregard something that’s false…..not so much when its truth
Unless you are British, “Judgement” is not considered grammatical.
If you cannot observe yourself without judgment, then you will always remain in ignorance.
(I’m using “you” in the general sense.)
sorry if you hurt on that!
What can i say deals are deals:)
@jswissman …. huh? could you please elaborate on your latter statement? I’m confused….what do you mean? if you observe yourself without judgement then you will be ignorant…. I can understand that but what do you mean? …..to be ignorant means “to not know” …..to observe means “to notice or perceive” ….and judgement is an opinion…..so are you saying that we will be ignorant if we can’t notice something about ourselves without forming an opinion?….that’s nonsense ….everything you notice you subconsciously or consciously have an opinion about…..like how is it possible to not have an opinion of yourself?
If it were impossible to observe or perceive without forming opinions or making judgments and conclusions, then meditation itself would be impossible. The experience of listening to music also tends to be more enjoyable without the mediation of thought interrupting the senses.
You state that “everything you notice you subconsciously or consciously have an opinion about.” This is a “heads I win-tails you lose” argument. If your claim is that we are always forming opinions whether or not we notice this at a conscious level, there is no counter-argument to that claim, nor is that claim falsifiable.
At an unconscious level, anyone would be comfortable with the idea that cognition is always going on in the brain. However, a belief, opinion or a judgment requires a linguistic formation (e.g. if I have an image in my head from a memory, the image itself is not a belief, opinion or judgment but merely the object of a belief, etc.). To get further into this specific topic would require me to cite sources from Epistemology and Philosophy of the Mind/Cognitive Science.
I’m okay with you believing what I have said is nonsense. There is, however, a great deal of literature on this topic and my statement is not something I see as controversial, but rather as trivially true (i.e. nothing more than a tautology).
I do agree everyone should be able to express an opinion.. but there is a difference in expressing an opinion and just being a plain old stinking a-hole about it.
I don’t think its people who express their different opinion that hurt people, it’s the ones who aren’t capable of expressing it without name calling or just being a plain jerk that end up hurting people.
I agree.
But i don’t like the
“Some one can call me a fucking worthless shit, and it’s my fault if I want to cry about it.” IMO it is my fault if i say something that would make someone else want to cry.
And the
“If you don’t like it… What can I say? I’m not telling you to give up, I’m asking you to be stronger. and get over yourself! lol This is the place for judgement right here! So bring it on!”
A lot of people on here is struggling with low self esteem, depression, and other things.
And telling them to “just get over yourself” is a lot harder for some people then it is for others.
We can’t all “Grab life by the balls”
Judgment is a natural byproduct of human nature. Judgment is what we use to discern whether a person is a friend or a foe, whether we like them or whether we don’t. Although everyone usually denies being judgmental, everyone is. It’s natural. Although it’s rational to look deeper than superficial depth, it’s often what many people establish their idea of another person on. Superficial not referring specifically to how one looks, but how one behaves, their thoughts (that have not been elaborate) and how they interact with others and their environment. If we can only look at these things in a limited way, of course many of us would come to the wrong conclusion.
Although I think that everyone fears judgment, I think you could also use judgment as a tool. “The secret to life is turning fallen boulders into stepping stones”. How would you like to be perceived by others? What characteristics about yourself do you want to be prominent? Being honest to yourself is crucial to giving people a genuine idea of who you are. People may interpret you wrong, but that’s common and natural to everyone. It’s not always a bad thing, if a person doesn’t understand me and doesn’t care to give time to try to understand than I don’t care. It’s the people that I personally care about are the ones that I want to be perceived honestly to. I’d like the general idea of me from a stranger’s point of view to resemble who I am, but in the end, what they assume I am doesn’t matter to me because I don’t care about their opinions. Although there are many people whose opinions I do care about, some of which I shouldn’t care about. Those I see that are “superior” to me are examples of people I try to impress out of my own insecurity of my value, and that’s a flaw on my part.
People will not always agree with what you say, but that doesn’t always mean they’re being judgmental. Some people are interpreting your decision in a correct way and they simply don’t agree with it. That’s not being judgmental. If you’re offended with people not agreeing with you, that’s really sad and I encourage you to live in a bubble-wrapped cardboard box for the rest of your life. You need to learn to accept rejection, and it’s hard to do. It’s not something I’ve mastered myself, but of course I’m working on it as should everyone. Some people, no matter how much you want them to care about or like you – never will. It’s life, and it fucking sucks, but you need to learn to cope with it if you’re ever going to live. If you want to writhe in misery and choose to kill yourself over it, that’s your decision, only you know what’s truly best for you.
Don’t fear judgment by others, embrace it. Fighting it won’t get you anywhere, it’s natural and it’s something that everyone will do and does as long as the human race continues to exist. The only reason we fear judgment is because we fear the rejection of others. And that’s completely understandable, I think everyone is afraid of that on some level, but those who are depressed are especially vulnerable to this, as they also reject themselves. The only way to overcome this fear of being judged is by accepting ourselves the way we are and valuing ourselves for it. I’m a hypocrite for saying that, but it’s true.
And if it were people’s choice about whether or not to feel “hurt” about things i dont think most people would be here. A lot of people here already feel like outcasts because of people in real life treating them crappy and rejecting them because its not easy to just get over it, its not their choice. If it were their choice and they could choose to get over it they would be siting at home happy as hell instead of wanting to kill themselves
Judgement, is a “power” induced high. You inflict your pain onto others by passing judgement. It isn’t fair, it isn’t fun (unless, you’re the one making the judgement) but really judgement is a necessary evil. Learn to live with it, if you can’t learn to love it.
are they people’s who want to die because they reject or humiulate by the society?i am not suicidal because of that,peoples can say what ever they want.period i am only dying because “i can’t survive”.actually i love it when peopl’s say bad thing about me.really i feel like they are cool.my uncle said one day “i should through my self on the windoW”REALLY that old man!he is just cool.bang,bang,bang:) yeah acne scars can kill.
@jswissman…. dude…I googled meditation because I don’t do it and I don’t really have an in depth perspective about what it really is….so….I googled it a bit and it says that meditation is a “clearing of the mind” so…meditation is exactly what you said it would be impossible to do….the absence of thought….the silencing of the mind….so I’m still a bit confused as to what you were trying to say…..
I said that because its true….think about it…..when you listen to music you don’t listen to EVERY song that comes on….some songs you turn off why? because you don’t like them….in order to not like them you have to assess the song and form an opinion on it to reach the conclusion that you do not like that particular song. A subconscious example would be crossing the street when its dark after you see a guy in a hoody with his head down….you may have never thought to yourself….”guys in hoodies are dangerous” but that opinion has been ingrained in your subconscious mind through new stories and T.V…. “the suspect was said to have been wearing a black hoody with his face hidden”…..how many times have you heard something similar to that on a robbery news story?…..you’ve never consciously formed an opinion on guys in hoodies yet you have an opinion on them… The subconscious mind is powerful. Don’t think that you can’t form opinions subconsciously because you can…
You also didn’t answer my aforementioned question…
“how is it possible to not have an opinion of yourself?”
How can you have no thought reflection or introspect whatsoever regarding yourself? how is that possible? How would one know themselves without judgement on themselves? How would morals even be possible? If you don’t have an opinion of yourself then how would you know if you were good or bad? How would you know if you’re a good fit for a particular job? How would you buy clothes that fit without an opinion of yourself? like it is literally impossible to not have an opinion of yourself…..
I would also like those sources so I can try to read them and interpret them for myself to see what you’re coming from because I really don’t understand what you are trying to say
I like dressing up in colorful and flamboyant outfits sometimes. I get a few weird looks but hey, I welcome it! 😀 I don’t do what is ‘expected’ of me. Never have, never will. I’m a disappointment to many in that regard, but unless they are a threat to my freedom, I don’t tend to care what they think. I am the most important person in my life. I should do what I enjoy doing, and if people can’t accept that then that’s their problem.
I try to understand others as well as I can, but I make mistakes too, and some people just annoy me with their disregard for respect and decency. If they want to purposely act like an asshole, I’m afraid I can’t show them my mercy. I’m not talking about good people at heart, I’m referring to those who only serve their own interests, and intentionally attack or harm others along the way. Do I understand why they’re like that? Yes, I do, but it is something I will never tolerate.
I don’t think I’m being ‘judgmental.’ For me, the most important concept in the world is justice. Nothing will ever be completely just, for there is always someone getting the shorter end of the stick. But in each situation, justice must be strived for. One can’t say, “Oh, because this person is wealthy and this person is poor, the impoverished person is more in need of justice.” That would not be correct.
Imagine a trial where a single mother of three young children is suing a corporation for selling products that were dangerous to her kids. However, this manufacturer had issued a notice beforehand warning of the potential dangers. Now, let’s say one of her children ended up with a permanent disability because of these products. In this case, it was not the fault of the manufacturer – they had already made clear that there were risks involved. Shouldn’t the mother have taken that into account for herself and decided if her children were capable of utilizing these goods without harm? Perhaps she did not use rational foresight. Technically, in this case it would be /nice/ if the mother received a sizeable sum of money, but it wouldn’t exactly be ‘fair,’ would it? Should people sue a company each time they are harmed by their appliances? No, because that would not be ‘just.’ If the risks are apparent, that should always be initially taken into consideration.
There are different types of stereotypes, some are based on pure ignorance and hate, others are based on patterns that apply to the majority of the group of which you’re categorizing. There are exceptions to every stereotype and some of these exceptions apply to most people of that group. Stereotypes are perpetuated by people in many different ways and for many different reasons. Some are based from hate and others from popular opinion. Stereotyping is a form of being ignorant but it’s inevitable in some cases. It’s not possible to ascertain much of a person from little interaction with them but most people get an idea of another person from what they’ve encountered from that group and what others around them insist are true. This is true for everyone and in some cases it’s logical from the individual’s point of view. For example, rape victims who are wary of men, it’s a learned behavior from a traumatic experience although it’s unreasonable on many levels, it’s inevitable.
Is it bad for them to group men into one category because of that experience? Yes and no. Trusting a group after being abused or exploited by them is hard to do, so I can’t blame them. Other stereotyping such as people who are wary of Muslims purely after what is conveyed in the media is just despicable. I would get into the reasons why, but they seem self evident, go figure. Judging others solely on what you’ve been told and now what you’ve experienced isn’t all ways a bad thing. Some are just sensible. If you’re walking home in a sketchy part of town at night and a person starts to follow you, of course you’re going to make the assumption that they’re a potential threat. That’s not a bad thing. Judging others is sensible on some levels and others it’s not. It all depends on what you’re judging and why.
I see a lot of judgement being passed around! lol
I’m not gonna answer everyone’s questions directly. Some of you made good points and it’s my opinion that some of you just talk from way deep inside your asses! lol
Judgement as a “power high”- so basically when a teen girl is raped and she judges that rapist as evil, basically under that notion, she is just on a power high? …No obviously that wouldn’t be right.
Let me introduce a new concept to everyone who hasn’t learned yet. It’s called.. “Emotional response to outside stimulus”
For some reason, some of you folks refuse to take the opinions and just say to yourself.. “It’s all an illusion” cuz that’s basically what you’re crying over. You think opinions matter? You think being beautiful matters? You think anything I’m saying matters at all? None of it! Yet you all seem to have so much emotional response to this subject, and even towards me. Am I really that mean? Do I invade your life so dramatically that you are suddenly a helpless victim everytime I log on? That’s what I mean by “get over yourself” save the drama for the real bad guys out there who will eventually hurt you in real life.
But I’m telling you.. None of this shit matters. We are a bunch of meat sacks walking around spilling out bio matter everywhere we go. So take opinions lightly next time you get all wound up inside over some one calling you a name or pointing out a flaw.
Find some integrity and hold yourself up, you don’t need anyones validation to do so.
If you’re sitting around with not a friend in the world(trouble making/keeping friends) and you find yourself arguing against me on this topic (thus blaming people like “me” for your problems) then you might want to step back, look into the mirror, and confront whats really going on. Cuz your gonna keep finding yourself in this position unless you change the approach your mind takes to confrontation with others.
Food for thought
@pain- about the “ugly” thing. My friend, all I can say to you directly about that is that it truly doesn’t matter. It’s who you are that counts to people, real people. Would you think I’m with my lady cuz she’s the hottest woman in the world? I’m with her cuz she’s a great person. But I had to lower my standards long before I met her, or I would have over looked her. I’m gonna tell you man to man, you need to accept life for how it is and pull yourself together. Somewhere out there is a girl who needs you desperately, and you continue to overlook her and the rest of what life has waiting for you. Stop dwelling on the past and Do something about it, my brother.
@RT30…. dude….if it didn’t matter then why is the cosmetics & plastic surgery industry a billion dollar industry annually? ….why do studies prove that they are more perks to being physically attractive?…. you’re right in a way it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things but in everyday interactions it matters man it does…..you’ve never gotten the repulsed looks I have or the stupid comments or the loud but quiet whispers man….its nothing like it….you haven’t heard the brutal laughter and the “funny” jokes from people man…..its demoralizing….and I just can’t brush it to the side man I’ve tried….I used to skip school for this shit….because somedays I just couldn’t deal with the bullshit of people judging me on my appearance….over time that shit breaks you down man…..
What can I do about the past? nothing? nothing at all…..all I can do is accept it….I can can’t do shit about it to change the outcome….the outcome is now so its done….I try not to linger there so much but its where I love to be….in the past….I’m talking about the far past not the recent past btw…. I hate the recent past….like the last 4-5 years….
I don’t know man I know you mean well but I just would love for you to be able to be me for 1 day and walk around and try to interact with people and see how the treat you….see how they speak….notice the pointing and laughing…..notice the way they look at you….man if only you could experience this dude if only….
How can you judge something/someone if you don’t understand what “evil” and “good” are? What if… oh, jeez… I don’t know there is no such thing as good or evil or pretty/ugly. What if everything is just bland and some asshole had to go and color things with judgments/opinions.
I feel so guilty and selfish latley from reading some of these comments i didnt really realize just how cruel the world is geting untill now i mean i knew there was bad people in it but not this many and that some people cant go into stores without cruel commentst being made. i have thought latley about how being a caring person who try to do what is right doesnt really get anyone far and gets me put in the poor house from being used. I’m thinking about how all the cruel people i know have it all. Maybe all suicidal depressed people need to become cruel uncaring bitches and they will have it all to. too bad i don’t know how to be one of those
Sorry just rantin on ur post
And painnlife he is right , there are so many females out there just as alone as you are right now and would give anything to be with you
“there are so many females out there just as alone as you are right now…”
True
“…and would give anything to be with you”
False
Most girls who are “oh so horribly lonely,” are actually alone by choice, because their standards and expectations are set too high. They don’t want to “lower themselves” to the level of accepting an unfavorable mate, “just to avoid being alone.” And so they stay alone, reject others who are also crippled with loneliness, and then complain about how no one wants them… when in fact, lots of guys want them, but they don’t want any of those guys… so they simply pretend those guys don’t even exist.
I’ve seen it too many times.
Well clevername has pretty much correctly described what happens IRL.
That is true in some cases and if people only want to see in others what they dont like and cant see the good in them then maybe they are choosing to be miserable but not all girls are like that. I admit that the world is geting worse and the people in it and sometimes i don’t know myself how i deal with living in it. But there are still lonely girls out there who have are suffering and just want someone to love them and that they can love back and wont treat people this way because of how they look. So that wasn’t really false
Sorry i don’t have the smartness to compete with you guys 😛 so im just tryin to say things the best i can which may not make any sense lol
Oh ya and if anyone does figure out a way to not feel hurt when people say or do things to them please let me know
@pain- you say I haven’t felt all that judgement, all that laughing in my face you talk about, I’ve experienced plenty. I just don’t talk about it. I’ve gotten that disgusted look and I still get it today. I know what it’s like. And yes, in the grand scheme of things nothin matters. If you want to believe all that shit they portray in the movies and magazines, go ahead but I’ve never cared about pretty people or rich people. Fuck them all. You need to forget about the past..that’s what you need I do with it. Why the hell would such a smart person hold on to the past for anyways? There is nothing to gain from it but sorrow.
That girl is still waiting while you dwell in the past. She’s out there right now.
@RT30 …. Dude if you’re anything like you are IRL likr you are online then your personality has a lot to offer….I can’t be that way dude…..When I’m around people I’m so self conscious its crazy….All I can think about is “what are they thinking?”…I put so much energy and focus into that its crazy…..in SP I don’t have to worry about that though because you can’t see me…..I don’t have to be exposed…..I can tell you I’m ugly and it’s up to your imagination to determine exactly what that is but in person I have to look in your eyes and know what you are saying inside your head…..I just know….
Maybe you have gotten it but I’m not you dude…I can’t deal with it….when it happens I get sweaty as hell I start feeling hot…not anger….just hot….I start getting a panicked feeling…like the flight part of “fight or flight”…..My mind starts firing off about what that person is saying and its just so fucking hard to interact its crazy man…..Your response may be different than mine but I mean we are different people with different experiences….our POVs are similar on some things but different on others….this is one of them…..It’s so hard for me to not care…..you’ve never truly felt embarrassment until you’ve felt it for something you can’t change….
Its not about believing in it…..its fact man…..attractive people do have better lives that’s a proven fact….of course there are exceptions to the rule but very few compared to the majority….death is the great equalizer but we aren’t dead yet so we’re still unequal…. I don’t care about them either but they do have a better existence than their less attractive peers….come on man I’m sure you remember some handsome jerk in high school that got all the punanny or some big breasted bombshell babe who all the other girls hated…..I know I do…. and the same way they got those advantages in highschool they carry over to the real world…..do you know there was a study done that said when people vote for politicians they choose the more attractive one? seems legit when you take account of all the choices in the past (state level politicians BTW we all know the federal level is a joke)….I’m just saying dude….
I tried forgetting about the past but I mean how can I do that? its easier said than done man…..It’s not like I can erase these ingrained memories by sheer force of will….sometimes they replay in my head without my permission lol seriously….I’ll be doing something totally unrelated to the past and it’ll creep back into my head out of nowhere.
Dude that girl is waiting for any guy…..not just me….and there are billions of guys more suited to her needs than I could ever be……like ever…..dudes with more money…better looks….better mental and physical health….better jobs…..better house…..better car….(which I don’t have either a house or a car or a job) ….better personality…..better sex…..better everything…..the only girl waiting for me is the one driving the bus I need to catch……(catching the bus means commit suicide just in case you didn’t already know that)
@pain- so what you are basically saying is that you don’t want life to get better, you don’t want to learn anything else in life, you aren’t curious to stick around and see whats next, you already know whats next with 100% certainty, you’re done..finished and packing it in.
When I talk about torture.. That’s exactly what I’m referring to. Imagine living your life the way it is, but no matter what you refuse to give up. You take the good with the bad. You accept that life is like this. And it gets worse. But still.. You want more of it, all of it. The good and the bad. That’s the torture I speak of. Living in a world that’s not worth living in.. And knowing that it will be for nothing in the end. The difference between me and you is that for me (in my head) it’s all the same in the end. It doesn’t matter who or what I am, I’m just here. From my point of view, I attack this life as if I’m looting a store during a riot. I’m gonna take all I can take, fuck everyone else, and ill kick anyone who stands in my way right square in the junk!