TIRED OD BEING TIRED

so today my dads girl friend, friend was having eye surgery today, and she wanted to be there. and she’s like well I have to be there at 12:30(and of course my dad had to drive her because she is afraid to drive since our little car accident last month). and so im like well dad I have to be at my doctors appointment at 12:30(which is in Huber heights ohio. and her friend surgery was in Kettering. which is about 30 mins apart) and plus I had been telling him about this every since my neurologist DEMANDED that I seen a cardiologist as soon as possible, and so she starts cussing him out saying that she CANT be late to see her friend. and so im like dad I have a SERIOUS heart problem(very irregular heart beat goes from 70-180 in 3 minutes and they said it can take one minute for it to be high too ling and I could drop dead). and so he is all like im going to drop her off and then im going to take you to your appointment. and so of course I go off like dad im not going to fucking make it. and we’re yelling at each other and im like fuck it im re-scheduling. and he is like nno your not you need to be at that appointment. and so im like well you should have thought of that before you put HER needs before mine. and so I call children’s hospital and ask to reschedule and of course my doctor just had to be the one who only come in ONCE a month and so I have to wait a whole month in order to be seen(sorry about the ranting). but I came back home went straight to my room and tried to call my mom just to talk to her and she don’t answer, and then I get to thinking how no one is EVER there for me when im going threw something but of course im always the first one they call when they need someone to talk to. and then I got to thinking how one thing after the other kept happing, I swear if there was something to go wrong in my life it more then likely already has or it will(just give it time) and so now im sitting her debating rather I should take ALL my anti-seizure meds or not( im leaning a lot toward yes). I know there is a GREAT chance of me dyeing, because it will cause my brain to swell so fast and so much that there would be no hope for me unless someone find me in time, which they wont because I will lock my door….