So, I don’t know how I got here with my life… visiting a suicide forum and feeling serious about it. I was the happy go lucky girl that loved working, movies, my sister and puppies. There is no room is life for fucking up. I miss my mom. I would have never fucked up if she wasnt gone. My dad murdered her because she was on meth. I managed to recover, graduate college, buy a house, etc. but then I fucked up And made myself a social outcast. I just want to die bc I can’t have a redo. All I need is a redo! I would go away by myself tomorrow if it I had the money in my pocket. I don’t though. It’s stuck in my house. The house I have on the beach 🙁 I fucked up so bad. People would kill to be in my position. I just want to go back to being a teenager again.
How weird would I be if I just want to be a hermit somewhere? Does anyone know any hermits?
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So… you have a house on the beach, but you want to go elsewhere and be a hermit, but you can’t, because you’re money’s in your beach house?
Why do you care “how weird it would be?”
You just said you don’t want to be a social outcast, and then said you want to be a hermit. You’re contradicting yourself. Do you think hermits are highly regarded in society? We’re not, except when people make light of ostracism and surmise that they think it would be nice to not have to deal with people, and they remember that hermits don’t have to deal with anyone, because they “choose to live alone and not participate in society.”
I’ve always been a hermit. Could we live in nature somewhere? Somewhere we could watch the changing seasons drift through the year, everything grows, life abounds, the leaves change, everything dies, we make snow angels and watch the stars under a big sky. Maybe the other side is like that. That’s what I keep telling myself.
money doesnt bring happiness. People get fooled into that easy trick. It brings greed, and a list of other things.
I feel for you, because I could and should have married someone years ago, I wouldnt be in my position now.
I wish I had a redo as well.
Sometimes death is the way out.
I don’t want to be a hermit. I’m just having a really hard time participating in normal society because of two stupid decisions I made. It’s awful.