I know that life is a struggle that I should have the will to win by surviving and proving them all wrong by making something of myself, but no matter how many times I tell myself that or tell other people that it’s not true. I don’t plan on winning this fight. I am sorry. Sorry for not being there when you truly need me little brother, mom, dad, grandpa. Why should I though after all you all hated me so much didn’t you? I am sorry but telling me how strong I am is just you seeing the lies that I have covered myself in for so many years. Here is the truth, I am weak. I have tried so hard and still I cant believe. So here is my final call. My suicide note.
Dear People Who Are Still Here:
I was never right to begin with. They told me I was just born in the wrong age group. That I was different. That I was. They told me I was lucky to have survived liver failure and being born way too early. They told me I was smart and caring. That I was strong for taking care of my brother and granny. The truth was They lied to me. They told me all this to get my hopes up. Why was I bullied when I was just a child? Why did my parents leave me and my little brother for drugs? Why did my papa cheat on granny and come home drunk every night? Why was I thrown into this life when the person that told me truth and taught me got sick and died? Why when I finally got over losing my granny did my family fall into pieces? Why did my dad beat my mom? Why did my mom beat me? Why did my mom leave us for drugs? Why did my dad leave us for drugs? Why did my little brother start to try to be like his dad? Why did my papa get a girlfriend that wants me to disappear? Why does she try to ruin my life? Why do they all hate me now? ‘
I know why. Its because I am me. This is how life is. You are given a card and suppose to make something out of it. I will tell you what I want to do with my card of life. I want and will burn it. I lose and I don’t care. I am sorry I am nothing I was suppose to be. For all you people that blame it all on me, guess what, I know its my fault. If that’s how you want to look at it then go ahead. For those you never cared, I guess you still won’t care. For all of you that cared, I am truly sorry I ruined it for my own selfish reasons.
I was in pain. I know I lose.
2 comments
Look,
I, like you, was born too early. I can not stop you from taking your life, but I can care, if you like.
You can always email me at: brl.cents@gmail.com
Disappearing-
How can any of this be your fault? You didn’t choose for any of this to happen to you, so why are you blaming yourself for these things? Those people who hate you won’t be around forever. You’ve had to live with them this far, so why give up so early in the game? You still have another chance in the game, so why throw it all away? Even if you have been miserable for so many years, there is still a chance to heal from that pain. Just hold out a little bit longer, I’m begging you. You don’t have to do this. There is still time for you to leave your broken home and fix yourself. So please, don’t die.