eternal

What seems more dangerous than asking for help? To personally admit to another person the suicidal ideas, the horror of them, the ebbing impulse control? To make these admissions requires that the individual also look at them closely enough to give them words. This automatically engages the emotional response, the very thing that one seeks to avoid at all costs, because of the belief that all the hatred and bile will annihilate one’s being.

Yet suicide is simply the desire to annihilate one’s self before the emotional catharsis. Here is the attempt to resolutely and heroically remain the master of one’s ship and to commit intentionally the act that would follow, like dominoes, from the request for help. Anything to avoid suffering what must automatically follow from revealing the dangerous ideas lurking below the surface.

Ask for help. It won’t kill ya.

G.W.