Hey guys.

Hey. So, The fast few weeks i’ve been completely emotionless. I’ve tried to force myself to feel something, but i have no emotions at all, Its like i turned them off. I can’t have a normal conversation with anyone, I can’t do anything properly. I fake smile at the wrong time, I can’t even make myself laugh when i’m supposed to. I feel like i’m inhuman. I cry myself to sleep everynight, if i can sleep at all, But don’t feel sad or anything. Last time this happened to me, I didn’t get my emotions back until I woke up in the hospital after an attempt. Is that what i’ll have to do to get my emotions back? Do i even want or need them back?.. I felt something today finally, and thought they’d be back now, but it turns out what i felt only lasted as long as my high lasted. I smoked weed, and did a few fat lines of coke, and about half an hour later i thought i felt happy, but it turns out it was just a mind trick. Should i just do drugs everyday to get my emotions back? I don’t know, or care. I’m so tired of everything. All i ever am is either extremely depressed, emotionless, or really high. there is nothing else to my life.