I’ve had a pretty turbulent relationship with C for 3-4 years now. He knows absolutely everything about me, my mental health and most importantly, the reason I’m so fucked up. We fight a lot and normally make up after a few days but this time it has gone too far. He’s changed his email address, phone number and moved back in with his parents (who are 200 miles away). I have no method of getting in touch with him whatsoever and I’ve never felt so hopeless. I physically cannot live without him. We’ve spoken together of committing suicide in the past and right now I’m praying he forgives me and gets back in touch so that I can ask him to pump me full of heroin. I’m not brave enough to do it myself and being without him has made me realise that nothing is more important than us being together, and the only way that will ever be permanent is in death.
4 comments
Erm, you’re wrong. You can live without this guy.
Hang in there. It’ll hurt for a while but eventually these feelings will fade, trust me.
You won’t want to hear this but perhaps this breakup might be best for both of you. Sounds like you’re just dragging each other down. Every couple has arguments, that’s normal, but if you’re talking of committing suicide together on a regular basis… No. Isn’t the point of being with someone a way to bring you happiness so you won’t have to be so lonely? Cathy and Heathcliff relationships are all well and good, but they’re only going to end in destruction if they’re not broken off before things go too far. People should enjoy each others company enough so that they look forward to spending time with this person, to coming home to this person. Relationships should bring you comfort, not misery.
You are alone and experiencing a spasm of fear, so, of course, you say these things. Venting is good and you have done that. Now, get some help.
Uh, G.W. what do you mean by ‘get some help.’ She’s suffering from a broken heart as well as a myriad of other unspecified problems that probably can’t be solved by popping in a few antidepressants.
I can’t stand that phrase. ‘Get some help.’ I have no clue what that means.
@OP Anyway, whatever, if what he is implying is that you should talk to a counsellor, well, maybe you should, if it helps to talk about it. Personally talking about this sort of thing never helped me. Really, all you can do is distract yourself until these thoughts and feelings are no longer in the forefront of your mind.
Hi, Read your post…
hmmm…if you were to die now, you have just denied yourself of a future. Yes, it’s something no one knows, yes, it is precisely because it is in the unknown, it is exciting and scary. Nonetheless, you have a future. Heartbreak is part and parcel of life. Without heartbreak simply means you have not loved. So, though you have suffering from heartbreak, know this, you have loved, lost, and in the future, you will love again, and be loved.