That sounds very wrong but this is something that has been a long time coming. I’ve suffered with being alone and never belonging. I break all my relationships and I’m always the one that’s good enough for now, Â not good enough for ever. This applies to my family, friendships and relationships.
I had a conversation with my now ex today. It was the end of our relationship. We hit a point where I told him that I knew things were hard but that I was willing to work through them because I felt we were worth it. He made it clear, he doesn’t feel I’m worth it.
I cried, for hours. Until I finally  made the realization that all this hurt, all this not belonging, everything has a fix. I no longer will have to cause others pain or aggravation, I no longer have to feel lost and alone.
Suicide, one week from now.
It’s planned. Notes written, method (hanging) Â prepared. I just need the right logistical timing to not worry about work or other things so that the deed gets officially done.
I feel so comforted, I have my answer, my solution. It’s all going to stop and that peace couldn’t mean more to me.
5 comments
Suicide may be an option but it’s the easier one, show them you’re stronger then that. Don’t let them win.
Suicide is the easier option if the other option is moving a mountain… Don’t really know where people get off saying that….tell me….why do you think it is the “easier” option….and whats with this “lose” “win” thing?….what do they win? what do they gain upon somebody dying? Nothing….nothing at all…Life is like a game but it is not a game…there are no winners or losers in the end…we all DIE…
OP: I’m very sorry for what you had to suffer through trust me I know the feeling. I hope whatever you decide to do brings you the peace and comfort you seek…take care
I know exactly how you feel, as I am in exactly the same situation. Sorry that you’re in the same situation. My best to you in whatever you decide to do.
u need to give up on letting relationship failure rule ur feelings.accept u are alone,and live for any thing that can make u feel a moment of comfort while indureing the suffering as long as u can.little things,mabe a cigarette,or a good meal.all of us that are suicidal,should try to prolong the act as long as possible.i also recomend u getting a cat or dog for something that will not betray u.
“i also recomend u getting a cat or dog for something that will not betray u.” What!? As a potential suicide I have the responsibility to severe as many relationships as I can, and of course not engaging in any new ones. To get a pet would be terribly irresponsible, since a successful suicide would be equivalent to abandon it.
P.S.: I adhere to what Pain says.