Sometimes I get torn between what I want and what people around me want. What I want is to be seen. I feel like people look at me but they’re not really fucking looking at me, and a couple of months I looked at this as a blessing and now it just makes me really fucking sad. I feel like no one cares, and however cliche that sounds; they don’t. No one cares anymore, no one even fucking listens. No ones listening, they’re just waiting for you to shut up so they can be heard. Do you know how annoying it is?. Do you know how fucking infuriating it is to have people running around you thinking they know you, thinking they have the right to comment on ‘who you are’ when they have no fucking clue?, I don’t think you do. Its so tiring, to have to keep explaining to yourself why people treat you the way you do, making excuses for them, like thats my fucking responsibility. I don’t deserve to be invisible my whole life, why, why me!?. This is what depression has done to me, driven me to my keyboard to post on some site where random people I don’t know try to ‘comfort’ me with their sob stories. Where random people talk about their own issues and why they’re sad. IS THIS A JOKE. MY LIFE IS A FUCKING JOKE.
3 comments
is nobody seeing you?.and nobody cares,whether you are around or not?it means you are “blending” in.and believe me,you are lucky for that.
A couple of things.
It is true that people are normally so absorbed in their own narrative that they can not listen/understand what is said to them. They do not really have the capacity to understand, given that they can not see beyond their own little thoughts. In fact, to find someone who is willing to give their time and attention is to find a treasure, something worth keeping.
Given that they don’t know what is going on, there is little reason to try to make them understand. Not that this can’t be lonely, but you can save yourself some effort and frustration here.
Finally, there is little reason to denigrate those who make the attempt to be helpful and there is as little reason to denigrate yourself for asking for help.
G.W.
We all get tired of spending energy on things that cannot produce what we desire.
1: “who are you?”
0: “well, who are You?”
1: “i asked first”
0: “and my answer is to throw your question back in your face, in hopes you’ll realize how stupid it is.”
b: “who are you?”
a: “someone who calls it like i sees it. If that’s a problem for you, feel free to vacate my presence and stop wasting my time.”