ive had bouts of depression before but never so severe as this. ive been tagged as bipolar and am on meds which i think are destroying my body and mind. ive been drinking steadily for a couple months now to dull the pain but of course it is not a solution. my husband abandoned me while i was in psychiatric care and i cant seem to get past the loss. i lost my significant other, my job, my pets, my apartment, my independence, my everything. im developing severe anxiety issues where im scared even to take the bus now. the only thing really stopping me from suicide is the thought of what it might do to my mother. but everyday i wake up with a sense of dread at just having to be conscious for another whole day. im not sure how much longer i can do this.
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14 comments
Sounds very tough. Maybe you should seek some help.
I agree. If yo can’t get the treatment you need or don’t have enough money, just talking to us will ease some of the pain
Just look at my name….. it explains why I am here.
I would have (and did) write the same words you did (except for the drinking part, coz I dont drink).
I feel very bad for you. Abandonment…… mine left me Aug 30th, and I tried to end it, and in fact, theoretically should be dead.
You will need some meds for the anxiety, it is helping me. It will help you too. Make sure you get in with a good counselor too ( I have a good Christian one).
And…….
Realize this is a good place for you. We all suffer here, for one reason or the other. You have friends here.
If there is anything I can do to help, if you want advice, etc. I am currently experiencing the same thing, and it is hell.
thanks for the responses. i am getting help, i see a psychiatrist every couple weeks, but if i complain too much they simply want to up my meds which make me feel like a zombie. im already sleeping almost twelve hours a night with the meds im on which i dont mind since its the only thing i really seem to enjoy doing anymore. i just wish i could go back in time to when life was stable and i was content. its amazing how fast it all fell apart. he left me in early august. but the pain still feels very fresh. i dont feel like im recovering. i thought time was supposed to heal…
How long married?
Same here, I want to sleep more. I take Clonazepam for it, athough I still can’t sleep all that well at times.
I have heard that too (time heals), but it also depends on a lot of things.
I fully understand about missing a stable life. Has yours filed for divorce? Mine cheated on me, she had it all planned.
I dont believe one ever fully recovers from something like this. I take one day at a time, try to keep busy, and deal with things as they come.
Nothing worse than a spouse who abandons you.
married five years, together for nine… im twenty seven so this is a significant portion of my life. hes the only person i ever loved. i had really thought marriage was supposed to be a lifelong commitment but apparently he didnt think so. hasnt filed for divorce yet, no rush i guess. he hasnt even made one single phone call to me since he left either. seems he doesnt want to deal with me at all…
im sorry to hear your wife cheated on you. im kind of unsure about whether that would make the letting go easier or not. i was simply abandoned. confused and resentful but really he did nothing wrong until he just up and left me.
I think u dont need anything, just little self confidence to depend on your self & start new life 🙂 . Do u have any kids?
no, if i had kids to care for i dont think i would be contemplating suicide.
What about your mam? Doesnt she deserve to live for her?
can i ask why did he abandone u? 🙁
yes, im alive for my mum for now, though she does have three other children and even two grandbabies. and shes dealt with the suicide of her brother and a friend.
he never gave me a real reason for abandoning me. just that he was overwhelmed with me being in the hospital and him having to look after our bills and our pets. was a temporary situation and he made a permanent life altering decision.
Married 14 years, together for 17.
Same as you, I have a mom I worry about.
There is no excuse for abandonment. My wife took the same oath before God as your husband did.
My wife cheated 6 years ago, I forgave her, took her back, she went full force again, just got better at it, cleaned out my house, still after everything, I tried to end my life one night (and theoretically should be dead).
Im sorry to say, there is likely more than you know about him and why he did this.
But, it doesnt matter. he did it.
Knowing she cheated doesnt really make it easier the way I see it,the pain is still there, severe. My wife came to me and told me how she could afford a new apartment if she didnt have the expense of paying my health insurance premium. Having her tell me she wanted a second guy in bed….. well,,, I can’t say I married a good woman, what I married was a monster.
i really dont know much about your life, but how long has it been since he left u? why did u call it “abandon”? sorry for stupid questions; i mean that someone abandons for another luv or life, just like in “Wifeisgone”s story.
i think he left mostly because he didnt like the idea of being married to somebody with bipolar. its been almost four months and i still cant stop thinking about him. i consider it abandonment because he left the country, and where before he left we talked everyday and he treated me like he still cared for me, he simply stopped calling me the moment he left. i feel betrayed.
sorry for your agony 🙁 , it hurts me just reading it, what if i were living it as u r doing? i know u heard this 1000000 times, but i’ll tell u again; be stronger, stronger than his betraying. irritate him by knowing that u succeeded & didnt give up, depend on yourself & nobody else.
idk whether my words help u or not, but keep in your mind that everyone here supports u, & i’m the first. u can reach to my email any time, so feel free to send me whenever u like, i’ll reply gladly 🙂 .