I have been severely depressed since i was 9 yrs old. Thats how old i was at my first suicide attempt. I now own two 12-13 year old cats that were left behind by a former roomate 11 years ago. Since i have no kids (nor do i ever want any), they are my babies. Im desperately seeking a good home for them (together) so i can commit suicide. I cant bare to think of them locked in cages and euthanized. Ive called local and not so local shelters telling them i had a terminal disease and needed a home for my cats. They said they would try but their isnt a big demand for old cats let alone two of them. Im desperate to commit suicide. The thought of another day on this earth breaks me. I have the drugs i need to OD. A prepaid cremation, all i have to do is write the letter to tell my dad what to do with my stuff. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help me? Please i dont need to hear from any religious person looking to save a miserable life.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
My cats have kept me living so many times! I understand. I couldn’t bear to think of them suffering or being placed in a bad situation. Our pets accept us and allow us to love them as much as we want to love them. And they give us love back. Humans? I have yet to receive unconditional love from a human.
I’m sorry. I don’t have an answer to your question, but I do understand your dilemma. Can you wait until your cats pass away? I assume you’ve tried anti-depressants?
I lived in pain most of my life. I didn’t start on antidepressants until I was 61. They don’t solve the occasional slip to the dark side, but they do help me not to stay there.
This is indeed an empty world for a suffering soul. I wish the best for you, whatever your decision and outcome.
Love,
Vedura
Sorry if this does not sound right, but can’t you euthanize them? I mean, at least then you’ll be sure they died peacefully, whereas you cannot be sure they will be treated properly by someone else.
By the way, it’s a very curious fact that for many the suicidal desire starts at nine years onld (including myself). In a suicide forum I belong to, almost every single one of the users have had wanted to CTB since that age. I wonder why.
@derityllaermai That is indeed a very curious thing. For me personally, there are some further connections to the number itself. I won’t go too in-depth, but I have the number 9 tattooed on my wrist, and it’s long been my number and nickname (it rhymes with my last name).
Also, my favorite multiple of 9 is 27, and I’m sure you know the infamy surrounding that number/age. In fact, I turned 27 a few months back. I’m very uncertain I’ll live past this year.
Rehoming some of my pets was when I knew that I would go through with my plan because the real me would have never done that. My pets have been the reason I have stayed for so long and the only ones who are there no matter what. I feel like I am abandoning them, but I know now they all have safe places to go who will care for them probably better than I have for the last couple years as I’ve been in such a dark place. They can’t understand why I’m upset, only that I am and it stresses them out too.
I have some left at home, but luckily have people who I know are ready to take care of them after I’m gone. A good friend is currently “pet-sitting” as I was going on “vacation”. She doesn’t know how that its going to be a permanent vacation from which I never return. I know they will be in good hands.
The thought of euthanasia(or in my case, my method would easily kill them too if they were nearby) was an option. Its not something I could personally handle, but only you can make that decision as at least they would be with you in their last moments and then you could join them. I know if I euthanized my pets it would be a guarantee that I would be dead soon after because I couldn’t handle more grief and pain, but I am thankful that I don’t have to consider that as an option any longer. I hope you are able to find a solution that you are happy with.