so I don’t exactly know what to write, i feel like one of those typical depressed teenagers begging for sympathy. thats basically why this is the first time I’ll be talking about the way I’m feeling. i always feel like I’m bothering someone or sounding stupid if I talk about how I’m sad but I’m doing this not for replies but to just so I can get stuff out .. well I’m sad, obviously .. found this site from patheticly googling “how many sleeping pills will it take to overdose” god I’m a joke. it’s just like everyday I want to not be here.. Not be awake.. Not be alive every time I think “ugh I want to leave ” I never think of a place I want to leave … Because I think it’s just my life in general I want to get away from.. And I’ve read all peoples suggestions, “get away from what/who makes you sad” “help yourself” “tell someone” Well how do I get away from myself, because that’s what I’m trying to do and it’s scary .. And if helping myself was so easy I would be .. But every time I think about helping myself I get in a mood where I just cry..and cry.. Telling someone isn’t an option.. I don’t even know how.. I’m embarrassed. Sometimes when I’m in the car I just day dream about how I wish A car would just zoom around and just smash Into my side of the car and everyone be okay except me.. Or that id fall asleep and just ..not wake up That be amazing honestly. wow . Just to go to bed..and just not wake up. Not ever have to worry about anything Because you don’t exist. You don’t matter. Don’t anything. You’re dead. Yes I love my family and would hate to put them through the sadness but I hope they’d understand that every smile they saw was a mask, temporary moment of happiness until I slip back into the dark hole I’ve been in once I’m alone. I don’t think I believe in god.. Heaven and hell .. That stuff. Like it be cool if it was true.. But honestly I wouldn’t be going to heaven anyway so why look forward to hell. I much rather just be dead, period. Nothingness. Gone. Poof. Just a body in the ground until I rot into dust. I’m sorry I hate myself, sorry I hate my life, sorry I let it all get to me, sorry society actually does have victims .. I’m sorry for a lot But I’m sorry most of all for not being strong enough.
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I feel exactly like that. Just talk about what you’re feeling to one person you know. Doesn’t have to parents or other family. Doesn’t have to be an adult. I was embarrassed too and didn’t know how. But just text a really close friend and make them promise not to tell. But find someone who will be there for you to help you be stronger. Find someone who can understand. Find someone you can always depend on to help.
Hey there,
I know these feelings. The ones where you just want everyone to be happy, but you would rather go? You know it would hurt others if you left, but yet you’re feeling so empty, so sad, and alone?
I, too, know these feelings. I struggle with it quite often. It is a tough thing to work through. It is even effecting my song writing, you see which is the point of this message.
Listen, if you have time, email me. I want to send you a song I wrote. I hope that it can make you feel better. My email address is: brl.cents@gmail.com
And, for the record, yes, I will listen.
I sure will, I’d love to check out your song
Hell, someone on here once said that non-depressives can’t handle our stuff. Suicidal urges and major depressive episodes. All the self-hatred. All the wanting to leave the world. I feel like that. Here’s my email, jmichealwimburn@yahoo.com. If you ever need someone to listen who won’t judge, I’ll be there.
Thanks for the offer, I’ll keep that in mind. , maybe we can help each Other
All right, I’ll be awaiting that email, once again.
I hope that you do enjoy my song when you do email.
For anyone else, it’s brl.cents@gmail.com