Feeling like I just can’t take it anymore

I’ve been feeling suicidal for the past 2 years I mean school just stresses me out a lot especially since finals are this week and I just feel stupid then there’s my self esteem I just don’t even feel decent no more I feel like monster apart from that family problems especially my sister she always talks shit to me and makes me feel bad and fat she acts like I’m her maid she yells at me hits me and she also tells me how she wants to just hit me so hard and punch my head against a wall and etc she also talks about my flaws and makes me feel stupid and worthless I just can’t take it anymore I always cry when she tells me mean stuff and she doesn’t care and I always have to keep everything to myself cause I have no friends and I have trust issues I can’t sleep at night I had anxiety attacks all the time I never let it out its just bottles up inside me since why would I even talk to my parents about this they would probably think I’m overreacting and being a drama queen my idols are the only reason I still stand today but then I just want to give up I mean it’s not like they notice me or anything but yea so far I’m just trying to keep strong but I just feel like giving up and it also feels better writing this because I’ve had it bottled up in me for years but it’s not the same as talking to a trustworthy understandable person