I don’t care

It’s quite possible you suffer from depression but taking a score online isn’t the right way to make a diagnosis. Only psychiatrists can do that. 12 years old is very young. Hormones, add to that the stress of the abuse you have been through and foster care. Happiness is something we all seek but many of those things change and get another definition as you grow older. My suggestion is to talk with about it with as much people as you can. Let them know when you are in distress, let them know how you feel. Many of the mistakes I made was to not open up at that age. I know it’s difficult but you took one step in the right direction asking for help and I’m sure you will be able to get even more help in real life. I can not imagine that you would have to live without any kind of support. Happiness just happens, it steps into your life, just life grief does. Unfortunately, we don’t always get the chose those moments. Try not to focus too much on being or becoming happy. First thing I tried was to be at peace with the feelings I have. Wether it is pain or not. Relaxation is far from easy. I have lived about ten years longer and I can’t say that relaxation is something easy. Far from it.