I used to think I had all the hope in the world, that hoping things will get better would actually work. I began to loose faith in everything else, I didn’t think anything but hoping worked, Well lately hope hasn’t seemed to work either. I still feel the same things, pain, misery, sadness, like everything is eating away my insides and consuming everything that I need to feel normal. I’ve hoped things would get better, I’ve hoped that the medication would work, I’ve hoped that I could finally stop letting people down, that I could have enough strength to hold on just a little more. It seems as if all of my hope has gone down the drain and all that is left is hopelessness. I am afraid that if there is no hope left, that I won’t have the strength to hold on anymore, that all is left is to give up. Is there any hope left inside me? If there is, were is it? And can it come out please?
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Of course it’s still there, it’s just afraid to come out. Who wouldn’t be afraid of being rejected? hope is afraid of being conquered by mean comments or realities of life and when you barely have hope left, well you don’t want to kill off that last bit of it. So you store it away for when you really need it, like an extra battery boost or something like that. I know what you mean though, you hope and hope and hope until eventually it just seems like hoping has done absolutely nothing for you and you’re just wasting your time, getting sadder. Don’t give up yet, just remember why you’ve been holding on for so long.