Hello,
A few days ago I came up with a plan, a plan that I will try to follow as a last effort to find a real meaning in life. (you can read it here http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/ive-got-my-plan/ ).
In the meantime I feel the need to have at least my exit plan ready. I know the way, I’m not mentioning it coz it’d be against the rules, but I’ve got several issues that I don’t have answers to (and of course nobody to discuss them with) and I could really use some help.
-Make it look like an actual suicide or create doubts?
I feel that by creating doubts I’d make it easier for people around me, they won’t blame themselves and they might get over it easier. However, I won’t be able to leave the letters I’d want behind. I know words can’t sooth enough, but it might be valuable for some people to know what I feel. What would you think?
-Location:
3 options, more or less all have their pros and cons. If you can add something please do.
a) At home
+It’d feel comfortable
+Will be found quickly and easily
-Will make it difficult for people to keep living in the house
-Will create bad memories to those finding me
b) At a random place somewhere in my hometown
+Will be found quite easily
+Will be probably found by strangers
-Will leave in a place that means nothing for me
c) At my favorite city and actually the last place I had a good time
+Will be probably found by strangers
+Will be in a place I’ve got good memories of and it might very well be seen as a circle for my life
+Will be found by strangers
-Finding me will probably be more difficult
-Might create difficulties moving my body back home
7 comments
I too am trying to find a meaning in life, for the last time. I can relate to you.
I think you should focus on your plan of how to feel better first, and if it doesn’t work, then you’ll have the freedom and plenty of time to plan the rest.
I fear it might be bad to think about death while you give life a last chance. It’s like, yeah you wanna try to feel better but you don’t really have faith in it, so you feel the need to plan your exit plan.
I was considering planing my exit plan too, while trying to feel better for the last time, but i finally told myself “nahh, if i fail, i’ll know how to exit then”. Anyway, you might change your views about how you wanna exit, until then.
Good luck though. I hope you won’t have to use your exit plan.
What you say makes total sense. Tbh I don’t have high expectations and not much faith, but since we are talking about the last chance I’ll need to concentrate on this and not my exit plan.
Thanks a lot for pointing this out!
I think i will be out of the house, i too need to leave notes so i don’t see how it can be perceived as accident. Perhaps one way may look as an accident, as long as they don’t run a tox screen, heehee. Then i just have to change my notes from “Dear so n so” to “in case of accidental death” hahaha. So I am pretty sure I have enough……but wonder if i should wait until my Lithium prescription is refilled later this week…..just to be sure(i woke up last time)
I’m glad i could help theunknown777, let us know how it goes ! 🙂
IF I were going to exit this world I would just do it in some distant landfill were I won’t be an inconvenience to anyone. TWIT.
Best way to go would be on a distant planet. 🙂 Till then the Earth remains a challenge whatever suicidal or not.
Fatuglyguy72269, I have this weird perception that my last moments should be spent somewhere that I’d feel comfortable, familiar or at least have something to remember.