being unable able to either change or accept what i could neither change nor accept.
But that kinda doesn’t make sense, because i accepted that what i couldn’t change was actually reality. By “accept,” i mean “adopt as acceptable.” I obviously do realize and “accept,” that the unacceptable parts are indeed part of reality, and that i cannot change them.
So i guess “being involuntarily inferior in all the most important ways” is my biggest regret; something i was never allowed to control in the first place.
Being unable to do what i wanted and/or needed to do, because i was both not good enough, and impeded by others.
I have very few self-caused regrets. My worst pains don’t come from within… they come from without.
@thekoji, u cant say that as u wernt involved in ur creation as such ergo cant regret it..
@sb. Hey. Ive missed u, tried to email the khajit one but not sure if u got it. We cant controll who our heart goes to but you have to keep faith that someone will come along who is perfect for you. You cant give up sb, talk to me about it?
Clevername, i have a hard time believing you are inferior in all the most important ways. To me it seems you are excellent with words, you have excellent self reflection, you can express the past, you are not shy to express your view, you are well educated, and you can logically debate……i am sure that is a small and incomplete list. just my observations
The Koji, i have seen many comments of compassion wrote by you to members that were in need. I doubt your parents regret having you and being alive isn’t that bad. On a lighter note, we had survey at work on “how many of us we (whoops) babies” you wouldn’t believe it, but it was 100% including the owner! one guy even volunteered the information his mom was engaged in sex for profit at the time of his conception.
Not having lived, so has not to have any regrets — precisely what my father, may he rest in peace, told me: ‘Son, live in such a way so that you don’t have any, or at least many, regrets.’ My life has turned out the exact opposite, especially with regard to the big things. Ironic. Obviously, I didn’t answer the question: the detailed answers are too personal and too painful.
My worst regret is that I haven’t yet tapped the ass of a talking ass with a stick like Balaam did.
Also, that I live in such a fucked up civilization that’s so obsessed with pointless, mundane and boring shit. I dunno if that’s a regret about me living in this civilization, or a regret about me not being able to force myself to put up with living in such a world, but whatever it is, it’s not much fun and I regret it.
I’ve always considered regret to be pointless. We can’t change what’s happened in the past, what’s done is done. All we can do is move forward. I do have regrets but I try to forget them, maybe learn from past mistakes, and avoid dwelling on the past. It’s not always easy, but alcohol helps one forget.
The whole inferior, I’m not worthy argument (cue Wayne and Garth) is in reality a form of narcissism (I’m as guilty as the next one, so please don’t take this as an attack; it’s an attempt to help us all), and, more importantly, a form of psychological armour that we create to shield ourselves from the issues that truly cause us emotional distress.
Think about it: if you’re really not worthy (the most common refrain around these parts), or are inferior, then the lack of happiness and success is more bearable, because, well, unworthy, inferior believable can’t reasonably expect to find success and happiness (except for psychopaths, but that is a whole other issue), and so it’s easier to accept one’s lack of success and happiness.
ON THE OTHER HAND, if one has an objective sense of self, such that one believes neither that one is unworthy/inferior, nor that one is the greatest thing since sliced bread, as they say, then failure to achieve success/happiness (as measured by the individual, albeit unfortunately heavily influenced by society) will quite usually bring emotional distress.
But the solution lies in tackling the why of why one can’t achieve success/happiness, NOT in retreating into a solipsistic tortoise-like shell of ‘I’m inferior, I’m not worthy’, that only prevents one from tackling the real issues.
Again, I’M NOT PREACHING — I’m as guilty as anyone, if not more so, of these tactics.
But reflection has allowed me to see what might be the true issues as hand.
One last thing: the most painful feelings/emotions, etc don’t even emerge into consciousness: they remain buried in the subconscious. The proof that ‘one is inferior/is not worthy’ can not be the real problem is that one repeats it with such ease. If it were truly the issue preventing one’s happiness, those words wouldn’t get anywhere near your lips, let alone be in your conscious thoughts.
I’m with Wigglesworth on this one. I don’t have regrets. If I make a mistake, I use that as a learning tool for the future and move on. Would I go back and change anything? No, I wouldn’t. Maybe I just don’t care enough. Think forwards, not backwards.
Regret is a natural reaction to circumstances and actions. If I had the power to negate my ability to feel guilt/remorse I definitely would, but alas such things are out of my control, however frustrating it is.
No, I’ll never be able to function on my own. I will need God or a wife to make it through this lifetime. I’m needy like that.
I’m surprised I’m even able to tie my own shoes.
Can someone pray for me?
Despite my few irrelevant “appealing qualities,” my most-objective self-view (according to all available evidence) is that i am indeed inferior. “Unworthy” is a different thing. The point, though, is that i’m just not good enough to reasonably expect success or happiness. This isn’t a self-pity thing or a mistake. I’m not the only one who thinks i’m inferior, either. Ask any of the girls i’ve ever Liked. Ask any of the guys who are just naturally stronger and faster than me.
I always tried to do and make the best and most of what i have, of what i am… but my results speak for themselves. I would like to believe i’m not inferior “in all the most important ways” (because i don’t think intelligence is one of the most important ways; look around… lots of idiots are happily successful), but i am.
none of the stuff i’ve ever been allowed to try, that’s for sure. I can’t even pick a thing that i would want to do “day in, day out” for the next 20 years, or 10, or even 1. There isn’t anything i want to do that badly, or that often. Not that i can think of, anyway. I can’t handle “full time” work, no matter what kind it is.
wow, this is a really good question. I do not know what to answer. Of course, I have made a lot of bad decisions in the past, but if all of them make me to commit suicide successfully in the short term, I guess they were OK. For example, I once had the chance to get a hot girlfriend, but had I got her, maybe now I’d be a father and be more chained to live, instead of being a (potential) suicide.
In short, I don’t feel specially regretful because I don’t feel dying soon is such a bad finale.
I’m not looking to be swamped with challenge for the rest of my days; i’ve had enough of arbitrary challenge and fruitless endeavors. I’m looking for the best possible ratio between effort and returns; not because i’m greedy or lazy, but because it’s absolutely necessary for my survival, at this point. That way, i would be able to force myself to do whatever, for some uncertain amount of time, while building a surplus of resources… and then i could buy everything i’ll ever need, and stop working (and by “stop working,” i mean not working for someone else, not doing things i would rather not do, just because it’s the only available method with sufficient pay… but there aren’t even any sufficient methods…). And then, and only then, will i be able to focus my efforts on things i actually want to do, which are not primarily motivated by financial gains. As long as i can’t make enough money to support myself, i will have nothing to offer the world, because i will no longer have a living self. And if i deteriorate much further (which is out of my control at this point), i won’t have anything left to give. Most days, i feel like i’ve already crossed that threshold, and have nothing left to give, other than to spend my brain cycles on other people’s problems… because i’m no longer able to solve my own. I need money to fix that, but i’m too far gone to make enough, from any of the ways currently available to me. I’m a compromised physical being in a temporal world. Without the resources to recover, i can’t survive to do anything worth doing… and soon, not even being carried will be enough to keep me alive. People trying to help, thinking they’re helping… are really only helping me to die an incredibly slow death. I’m tired of “dying,” now. I want to either become healthy and get back to Living, or i want to get the dying over with, and just be dead. This ever-worsening deterioration is not acceptable… but i’ve fallen far enough that i’ve lost too much strength and mobility, and no longer have the means to control it. This is part of why i tell people who seem “fresh” into this… “take care of yourself, and don’t fall too far, or stay down too long, because before you realize, it will be too late to recover; and then you’ll be stuck, like me.”
So i guess i should change my answer: i regret being unable to avoid what i saw coming, miles, years away. I didn’t know how to do the things no one in my life was able to teach me (because none of them knew either), and i couldn’t figure it all out before it was too late, and my life had been squandered in useless turmoil.
32 comments
Being alive .
Dedicating my heart to people who didn’t give a shit nor appreciated the effort and then tore it to pieces, to be honest. What a waste.
being unable able to either change or accept what i could neither change nor accept.
But that kinda doesn’t make sense, because i accepted that what i couldn’t change was actually reality. By “accept,” i mean “adopt as acceptable.” I obviously do realize and “accept,” that the unacceptable parts are indeed part of reality, and that i cannot change them.
So i guess “being involuntarily inferior in all the most important ways” is my biggest regret; something i was never allowed to control in the first place.
Being unable to do what i wanted and/or needed to do, because i was both not good enough, and impeded by others.
I have very few self-caused regrets. My worst pains don’t come from within… they come from without.
@thekoji, u cant say that as u wernt involved in ur creation as such ergo cant regret it..
@sb. Hey. Ive missed u, tried to email the khajit one but not sure if u got it. We cant controll who our heart goes to but you have to keep faith that someone will come along who is perfect for you. You cant give up sb, talk to me about it?
@clever i love u did my job of arguing against you lol. I don’t think you are inferior in any way, if anything ur better than most of the people here
Clevername, i have a hard time believing you are inferior in all the most important ways. To me it seems you are excellent with words, you have excellent self reflection, you can express the past, you are not shy to express your view, you are well educated, and you can logically debate……i am sure that is a small and incomplete list. just my observations
Lol then I feel bad for my parents regret of giving me birth.
The Koji, i have seen many comments of compassion wrote by you to members that were in need. I doubt your parents regret having you and being alive isn’t that bad. On a lighter note, we had survey at work on “how many of us we (whoops) babies” you wouldn’t believe it, but it was 100% including the owner! one guy even volunteered the information his mom was engaged in sex for profit at the time of his conception.
Not having lived, so has not to have any regrets — precisely what my father, may he rest in peace, told me: ‘Son, live in such a way so that you don’t have any, or at least many, regrets.’ My life has turned out the exact opposite, especially with regard to the big things. Ironic. Obviously, I didn’t answer the question: the detailed answers are too personal and too painful.
My worst regret is that I haven’t yet tapped the ass of a talking ass with a stick like Balaam did.
Also, that I live in such a fucked up civilization that’s so obsessed with pointless, mundane and boring shit. I dunno if that’s a regret about me living in this civilization, or a regret about me not being able to force myself to put up with living in such a world, but whatever it is, it’s not much fun and I regret it.
I’ve always considered regret to be pointless. We can’t change what’s happened in the past, what’s done is done. All we can do is move forward. I do have regrets but I try to forget them, maybe learn from past mistakes, and avoid dwelling on the past. It’s not always easy, but alcohol helps one forget.
@clevername
The whole inferior, I’m not worthy argument (cue Wayne and Garth) is in reality a form of narcissism (I’m as guilty as the next one, so please don’t take this as an attack; it’s an attempt to help us all), and, more importantly, a form of psychological armour that we create to shield ourselves from the issues that truly cause us emotional distress.
Think about it: if you’re really not worthy (the most common refrain around these parts), or are inferior, then the lack of happiness and success is more bearable, because, well, unworthy, inferior believable can’t reasonably expect to find success and happiness (except for psychopaths, but that is a whole other issue), and so it’s easier to accept one’s lack of success and happiness.
ON THE OTHER HAND, if one has an objective sense of self, such that one believes neither that one is unworthy/inferior, nor that one is the greatest thing since sliced bread, as they say, then failure to achieve success/happiness (as measured by the individual, albeit unfortunately heavily influenced by society) will quite usually bring emotional distress.
But the solution lies in tackling the why of why one can’t achieve success/happiness, NOT in retreating into a solipsistic tortoise-like shell of ‘I’m inferior, I’m not worthy’, that only prevents one from tackling the real issues.
Again, I’M NOT PREACHING — I’m as guilty as anyone, if not more so, of these tactics.
But reflection has allowed me to see what might be the true issues as hand.
One last thing: the most painful feelings/emotions, etc don’t even emerge into consciousness: they remain buried in the subconscious. The proof that ‘one is inferior/is not worthy’ can not be the real problem is that one repeats it with such ease. If it were truly the issue preventing one’s happiness, those words wouldn’t get anywhere near your lips, let alone be in your conscious thoughts.
I’m with Wigglesworth on this one. I don’t have regrets. If I make a mistake, I use that as a learning tool for the future and move on. Would I go back and change anything? No, I wouldn’t. Maybe I just don’t care enough. Think forwards, not backwards.
you can prolly well guess what mine is 😉
Regret is a natural reaction to circumstances and actions. If I had the power to negate my ability to feel guilt/remorse I definitely would, but alas such things are out of my control, however frustrating it is.
all the drugs i did that fucked me uup
Blaming myself for things that weren’t my fault and letting bad situations get the best of me
do you think you will ever be able to function on your own?
No, I’ll never be able to function on my own. I will need God or a wife to make it through this lifetime. I’m needy like that.
I’m surprised I’m even able to tie my own shoes.
Can someone pray for me?
@dude:
nice, but nope.
Despite my few irrelevant “appealing qualities,” my most-objective self-view (according to all available evidence) is that i am indeed inferior. “Unworthy” is a different thing. The point, though, is that i’m just not good enough to reasonably expect success or happiness. This isn’t a self-pity thing or a mistake. I’m not the only one who thinks i’m inferior, either. Ask any of the girls i’ve ever Liked. Ask any of the guys who are just naturally stronger and faster than me.
I always tried to do and make the best and most of what i have, of what i am… but my results speak for themselves. I would like to believe i’m not inferior “in all the most important ways” (because i don’t think intelligence is one of the most important ways; look around… lots of idiots are happily successful), but i am.
@clevername, i don’t believe in your view of your self. SEE WAY ABOVE.
Clevername my friend, in what field of work would you find yourself to excel in?
none of the stuff i’ve ever been allowed to try, that’s for sure. I can’t even pick a thing that i would want to do “day in, day out” for the next 20 years, or 10, or even 1. There isn’t anything i want to do that badly, or that often. Not that i can think of, anyway. I can’t handle “full time” work, no matter what kind it is.
What fields challenge your brain the most?
Fear… it has hindered me from so much in my past
wow, this is a really good question. I do not know what to answer. Of course, I have made a lot of bad decisions in the past, but if all of them make me to commit suicide successfully in the short term, I guess they were OK. For example, I once had the chance to get a hot girlfriend, but had I got her, maybe now I’d be a father and be more chained to live, instead of being a (potential) suicide.
In short, I don’t feel specially regretful because I don’t feel dying soon is such a bad finale.
my escape from my weaknesses.
Not holding onto love
Hmm… one regret?
To not take what I just took 5 minutes ago.
You have the ability to sense and know higher truth.
the fear of everything
Lol the last sentence well I guess trying meth
@OLIR:
I’m not looking to be swamped with challenge for the rest of my days; i’ve had enough of arbitrary challenge and fruitless endeavors. I’m looking for the best possible ratio between effort and returns; not because i’m greedy or lazy, but because it’s absolutely necessary for my survival, at this point. That way, i would be able to force myself to do whatever, for some uncertain amount of time, while building a surplus of resources… and then i could buy everything i’ll ever need, and stop working (and by “stop working,” i mean not working for someone else, not doing things i would rather not do, just because it’s the only available method with sufficient pay… but there aren’t even any sufficient methods…). And then, and only then, will i be able to focus my efforts on things i actually want to do, which are not primarily motivated by financial gains. As long as i can’t make enough money to support myself, i will have nothing to offer the world, because i will no longer have a living self. And if i deteriorate much further (which is out of my control at this point), i won’t have anything left to give. Most days, i feel like i’ve already crossed that threshold, and have nothing left to give, other than to spend my brain cycles on other people’s problems… because i’m no longer able to solve my own. I need money to fix that, but i’m too far gone to make enough, from any of the ways currently available to me. I’m a compromised physical being in a temporal world. Without the resources to recover, i can’t survive to do anything worth doing… and soon, not even being carried will be enough to keep me alive. People trying to help, thinking they’re helping… are really only helping me to die an incredibly slow death. I’m tired of “dying,” now. I want to either become healthy and get back to Living, or i want to get the dying over with, and just be dead. This ever-worsening deterioration is not acceptable… but i’ve fallen far enough that i’ve lost too much strength and mobility, and no longer have the means to control it. This is part of why i tell people who seem “fresh” into this… “take care of yourself, and don’t fall too far, or stay down too long, because before you realize, it will be too late to recover; and then you’ll be stuck, like me.”
So i guess i should change my answer: i regret being unable to avoid what i saw coming, miles, years away. I didn’t know how to do the things no one in my life was able to teach me (because none of them knew either), and i couldn’t figure it all out before it was too late, and my life had been squandered in useless turmoil.