I’ve been scared of adding more pain for so long. But I finally decided that I had to do something. So I tried cutting tonight. Â Omg! I’m not happy, but I’m so much better… I could control this pain. Â I can have something that I can control… I just idk…
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You can’t control it. You start with one spot, and when you run out of room after a rough day, you move to another. Soon its hard to hide, you’ll make excuses about where you got them: the cat, the dog after you clipped her nails, maybe its from breaking down cardboard boxes at work. You’ll become an expert at first aid. You’ll carry a tissue or a piece of gauze with you in case you start bleeding. And you’ll be really upset, so upset that you lose the illusion of control and cut deeper than you intended. You’ll be so afraid of yourself. My advice? Stop now, because its almost impossible to quit. Trust me
What do u do instead? I know I’m sick, but I don’t how to get better. I did this instead of trying to kill myself.
I’m not sure. I just know that cutting doesn’t actually help. Never feels as good as the first time. I’m doing my best to stop. Its to the point to where I can’t even sleep without cutting. Please try to find something else, don’t become like me. You can email me if you’d like. Kallianshadow@gmail.com
I used to wish I could cut. I felt that if I could hurt myself outside I could maybe hurt a little less inside. All it got me was really fucking hurt on the outside and furious at myself on the inside. It really is a losing battle… just hang in there baby and things will get better soon.