this is my first post here I dont even know why im trying its stupid all I want is to die ive tried overdosing and cutting but I just ended up in hospital and since ive been on these new pills all ive done is make things worse I ruined 3 friendships and my relationship I messed up
why am I here…I JUST WANT TO DIE and end this hell thay is my messed up life
27 comments
You’re trying this because there is a part of you that still wants to live.
and even if you disagree , it’s still nice to talk.
my family hate me, I have no friends im just a waste of space ive tried dying but it never works they wont even let me have pills I can get to so I cant overdose im stuck here
Have you tried an imaginary friend? They never leave, unless you tell them to. 🙂 I don’t talk to wastes of space, so you obviously are someone.
imaginary friends arent there when I need someone to talk to
only the blade I use to cut myself
not something I like to admit, but a lot of times I talk to myself when I’m the only one in the house… it helps, kinda, but then I start to get into the whole ‘I’m crazy’ thought frame..
I have a couple friends, but I don’t talk to them about my ‘downs’. I can’t bring myself to worry them, and when I need to talk, I don’t have a computer.
Cutting.. I hear that. How long have you been a part of the tribe?
I always have my phone except no one to talk to
I wish you could just walk up to someone say ‘ hey, you wanna be my friend?’ and that’s the end of it…
ive been cutting a few months I enjoy the pain its my only way of release
I wish that too if only things wer like that
Hey, you wanna be friends?
I’ve got to go. hang in there.
yeah lets be friends 🙂 speak soon maybe
I suffered from Major Depression and still do. It’s been 5 years for me and it’s been a struggle. Even today is hard but you will eventually have days where you can smile and laugh and find something to enjoy. It’s hard to imagine that now but I promise those days do come. You may be at the point where every hour, or minute is a struggle. You may be imagining the different ways of ending your life, in detail, and which would be best for you and your family or friends. Life may seem pointless and the things like money or status, or even a future of any sort just seems stupid. You may feel shredded and be crying and begging for it all to end and the pain of every breath to finally end so that you can be at peace and feel nothing or just so you don’t have to deal with it anymore. I know the darkest thoughts and how much you keep to yourself from others. I know the hopelessness and the inner struggle to try and not think of suicide but the pain is too much to take. I was on anti-depression meds and they helped but I still had anxiety and if I went off of them, it was bad all over again. I won’t tell you to find God, because you may not believe or be ready to take that route. I found him though and it wasn’t easy or instant. What helped me first wasn’t religion. It was a book and also the movie called ” Save a Life”. It wasn’t religious exactly. It was helping explain what I was feeling and what I wanted in life but didn’t have. I recommend reading or watching it and they have a facebook site that helps me on days like today where my depression is bad. I hope this helps, and people on the site are always available for talking to, no matter the time.
Yeh I’m your friend now too.
im just sick of hurting those I love I just wanna feel like im loved instead im just a freak who cant even say hi to people
Well you’re loved by me.
thanks thereishope
I try to sleep but I cant its torture these feelings…these thoughts I just want then to end
I so understand you killmealready. To be honest, I already feel dead inside.
I have tried everything the past few years to get out of this depression that seems like a bottomless hole: have tried every antidepressant, cognitive behavioral therapy, psychotherapy twice (which actually made me far worse), etc etc.
I wanted to try everything to show people around me (and there aren’t that many) that i genuinely tried to get better.
I ve been wanting to kill myself for quite a while but doctors speeches etc made me want to believe that things would get better.
But it’s been 7 years and nothing has changed. In fact, it’s got a lot worse.
I can’t even talk to people about this (friends, family) as they have no clue what i feel like inside. All they say is: ‘snap out of it’, or just do this, do that (go out, go to the gym etc – but i would if i could but i don’t have the bloody motivation to do these things). Also, they all say that i feel sorry for myself, that i am a victim, that i pity myself, that i am a freak etc. I find these comments so mean and so not true. I am just telling them how i feel, that’s all. Over the last 7 years, I have seen all my friends cut contact with me, one by one (even a friend who i had known for 20 years).
I am coming to the end of my second attempt at psychotherapy and told my therapist that i could not see any improvement at all and that i was at the end of my rope. Nobody will be able to say that i did not try.
I am just sorry for my mum, as i don’t want to hurt her. But i told her many times how i felt and i think she understands (having tried to commit suicide herself).
Of course I am also scared of what happens after you die, is it nothingness or is there something else? But does it really matter? Whether it’s today, next week, next year or in 20 years time, we are all going to die anyway. I just want to pain and endless struggle to stop now. I believe that is my right. And i also like the fact that it is me who decide the where, when and how i will die.
A lot of people say that suicide is a very selfish act. I so disagree with them. It’s them who are selfish by making us feel guilty to want to die. They clearly have no clue whatsoever of the pain we feel.
I completely agree with you about suicide its our choice its not selfish its all there is for me now I doubt ill even make it to 20
I want to make 2 more points:
When people say that suicide is a very selfish act, they say it’s because of the pain you would cause relatives/friends. But what about OUR pain??? So, i should stay alive and suffer so relatives (which would be just my mum and brother) don’t suffer?
So who’s really selfish? If they could make the effort to understand the kind of pain we are in, they would accept our decision and maybe think ‘well at least now he/she’s in peace, not suffering anymore’. That is how I think anyway. The only exception for me is if the person who wants to die has children (especially young ones). Don’t do that. Your children will carry that pain for the rest of their lives. And they need their parents. I know what i am talking about as both my parents tried to kill themselves in front of me (my dad when i was 10 and mum when i was 14). Obviously, that does not give you the best start in life and in my case, has probably contributed to make me devalue my life completely.
The other thing i wanted to mention is: what’s the point of all that anyway? I mean life.
What’s our purpose? How can you live a life without a purpose?
Anyway, sorry for the long post. Any replies/views would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
how old are you killmealready if that is not indiscreet?
dejamorte im 17 all what you said I agree my dad hung himself when I was only 2 I barelu remember him except 1 memory of me sat on his lap watching racing I understand he must have been in pain but I still wish he was here
actually I kinda dont…i wish I wasnt here