I’ve known this girl for 3 years I’ve loved her all throughout those 3 years but sadly 9th grade is coming soon and we will be going to seperate highschools and she will find that perfect guy and leave me then I’ll be alone again I just want to feel like I have a reason to live because I know I’ll lose that reason soon I just want to truly live for once i want to be that perfect guy for her because I’ve never met someone who cares so much I’ve never met anyone that cared at all and I want to be that perfect guy she wants to be with for the rest of her life sadly I know it won’t happen I want to be that one for her so badly but soon I’ll be left in the dark fending for myself trying to live when I want to die I’ll never be good enough for anyone I could put a round through my skull and then maybe just MAYBE I’d be good enough for something I want to know what I’m leaving when I’m done here I want to know what I’ve accomplished when my time is up and not something that’s surviving two failed suicides because I fuck everything up my life has been a nothing but a joke half the time I wonder who I truly am I’ve got big dreams but I secretly know I’ll never reach them the only dream I know I’ll ever achieve is my release from my torture filled hellish life I know that when I walk into my highschool everyone will just decide to beat me until I’m black and blue and honestly I deserve it, it’s what I get for being a burden on everyone’s shoulders I could end it all release my tortured bleeding soul and I’d be doing the world a favor I honestly should end it so I won’t hold anyone back anymore that’s all I’ve ever done in my life is ruin others lives I am worthless I could easily be replaced everytime I read about how someone dies I think “Lucky bastard must be nice to have someone miss you” I wonder why I always must suffer all my life I’ve dealt with nothing but suffering I just want the pain to go away I just want to feel alive again because I’m dead inside why not die on the outside not like it would matter I’ve been pushed around all my life well I deserve if I guess if I’m stupid enough to fuck up my suicide then I deserve all that ma
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Hey man,
We all want to be that perfect person, or at least me, too.
I want to be that perfect guy to a woman, want to love her with everything. I want to be there when she is sad, hold her when she cries, and smile with her when she is happy. this being said, there is no perfect person. All we can do in this world of ours is try. We can try our best to be perfect, yet one of that nature doesn’t exist.
Also, bud, think about this for a second. You need to find happiness in yourself. If a nother person provides you with your happiness, imagine what happens when that person is gone.
I have a friend. She’s a doll when happy, not so kind when not. She has found a guy that loves her, and that cares about her a lot. And she is happy. But when that person leaves her, how will she be then? I’d rather not think about it.
You can email if you need:
brl.cents@gmail.com