It saddens me so to read all the comments and realise – most people don’t understand us at all.
Society has been going on and on about how we suicidal people need anti-depressants. About how we have mood fluxes and that our suicidal thoughts are irrational, born from irrational feelings.
No.
Most of us have thought about this long and hard. We’ve tried it once. But at that last moment, we see a glittering, shimmering light of hope. Our choices to end our own lives are not something that springs from the moment. We think about it, we plan about it, and we’ve always found that it was the most logical choice. But yet, we all balk at the very last moment. We choose to believe in our humanity. We choose to hope for a better future.
But the exact moment when we stop our suicides, society throws all their shit back at us. “Friends” think you’re stupid and irresponsible for doing so. “Experts” think that you need chemicals and mental alteration.
No.
We’re all perfectly normal people. It’s just that what we’ve been through is different than what they’ve been through, and sometimes the pain is just way too great for us. All we want is for our suffering to stop.
I have made six attempts on my own life so far. I haven’t died yet – because I hold hope of a better world someday. Of a better future. I can’t promise that I won’t lose that hope, but right now, this instant, I hold it tight to my heart.
I do not ask of you to donate your wealth, or even your time for us. It is true that we cannot cope with our situations alone, but I do not ask that of you. What I ask for, is that people would understand, and respect our choices.
Frozen In Time
1 comment
So very well said. I have to agree 10 fold. It’s what we’ve been through that’s brought us to this sort of breaking point. The only thing that has kept me from ”jumping” if you will is fear of the unknown. And there may come a day or time where I overcome the unknown and boldly jump into the abyss head first. As long as there is hope, there is fear. Lose one and both are lost. You seem very wise, mind if I ask your age?