I have been fighting depression for 3 years now. I have made attempts, but always failed. My doctor claims I am a walking miracle. But I truly don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to die I know in my heart I truly don’t. I just cant shake this feeling of despair. Like I cant ever be happy, Ive been trying for 3 years! sometimes Its hard to convince myself that I’m stronger than suicide. And Lately, Its been more of a challenge. I want to get better, not waste away in the dirt. Ive sought help, but I feel almost worse about it. Like im the poor sad sack walking through the door. Another person to put on depression meds. I believe in great things, but myself hasn’t been one of those things in years. Who am I anymore.
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Well, if you want to know my opinion.. it doesn’t go away. Sorry. I’m not into sugar-coating anything. Truth is, all the medicine and “distractions” the doctors give you? Well, they’re just that. Distractions. The moment they wear off it’ll all come rushing back, even when you think it’s gone. Depression is just waiting for your most vulnerable moment to shove you back on the ground even harder than last time. If you get lucky, you’ll find someone who will provide you all the love you deserve- all the love you need. Cheesy, maybe, but it’s true. Don’t lie and tell me you’ve never seen a happy couple out in public and wished you had what they did, or saw two friends out at the movies and hoped that you could find a friend, also. The cure is love, just love, compassion, and care. You need someone who will love you no matter what because love IS happiness. What is depression? Basically the constant feeling of unhappiness. The only way that you can’t be cured by love is if you’re unwilling to accept it. You can only be helped if you’re willing to seek it. Maybe it isn’t permanent, but if you find someone good enough it might as well be. Of course, it’ll be a struggle, like I said, it NEVER goes away. Just stay strong and hope for the best. Sorry if my words are kind of hippie like and unrealistic sounding, but really, there is no other answer I have for you. The majority of happy people you see are LOVED, so I guess you should give it a shot, find someone who is willing to love you and just be there for you. There are amazing people out there, I promise. Just keep on being strong.
Thank you! I don’t take what they prescribe me. I don’t believe in medication like that. But I do find other distractions that are similar. And Your right. The moment I don’t have that distraction it does all come back. I like words that are real, sugar coating isn’t really something I am into either. So thank you for commenting. I’m really glad I found this site. It reminds people that they never suffer alone. And the fact that this page does exist is proof that love is everywhere, I just have to find love for myself. Though, realizing what is wrong is half the battle. Fighting for a change is the heart of the entire war. And that is why I don’t want to give up even if it does seem tempting some times. Its a rugged road we travel, we just have to bear the ride.
I agree with MissMisfit except for one other ingredient. In order to be loved it’s a good idea to be able to love. Give and take. They go hand in hand. Then, of course, in order to give love you have to “be” love. That’s the hard part and that’s why the depression for myself as well, just doesn’t go away. For brief moments I am love, then the mind screams, “Noooo…you’re not good enough, not worthy, a loser. You will never be love.” So, we battle on against the mind. Win a day, lose two days. Win a week, lose a day. on and on.
Indeed. I always believed one could not love another without loving them selves first. And I think the next step is accepting who I really am. Its just a painful step to take sometimes.
I wish I were able to refuse the medication I am prescribed, but because I am a minor, I have no say in it.
You’re welcome, and I like Randall said, you have to accept yourself before anybody accepts you. Mainly, because you’ll cause more pain to yourself if it isn’t balanced. They love you, they love themself. You love them, but… do you love yourself? If you can’t accept yourself nothing will get better, you have to realize that our looks, everything outer about us- it’s just a cover. It’s just skin, tossed on us to keep our insides safe. The standards that have been made for our appearance are not right, and eventually you’ll find people who love you no matter what you look like. As long as you can learn to accept your face in the mirror, and your personality. It all makes us diverse. As soon as you can successfully love AND be loved, then you can start working on other things such as, what is the variable that’s making you like this? How can you remove it? If you can’t remove it, how can you try to lessen it? Sometimes, even when you’re loved, you’ll have to pick yourself up. Not everybody understands what you’re going through- even if they love you, there are some things they just don’t know how to fix. It’s your turn to change something. A lot of people are afraid of change, and that’s why they cant get better. I believe you have the potential to reach out and do it, though.