What if I don’t want to move on anymore?
What if I feel so done with this world and life?
What if I dread waking up every morning?
What if I feel disappointed that I hadn’t died?
What if I am so hurt in this life that I can’t be fixed?
I can’t live like this anymore.
I’m so close to death.
I haven’t felt loved in months.
I have felt hated.
I’ve been hurt so much.
The young girl that was once inside of me
The young girl that was filled with hope
Filled with love and joy
The little girl that had a beautiful imagination
Pain and sadness, they have killed her
Regret, guilt, pain, sadness
They have replaced
Joy, happiness, love, inspiration
All of it
It’s gone
The pain that has been inflicted upon me
Has scarred
Not on the outside
But mentally
I’m broken
Shattered
Like a fragile
China plate
Dropped from
The top of a building
My heart is broken
Like a vase
Knocked down
From it’s shelf
Up high
I hate myself so much
And I hate the fact
That I feel nothing
But yet I feel
So much pain
What if I’m too hurt to move on?
What if I can’t move on?
What if all I want is love?
But all I receive is hate?
What if?
6 comments
Exactly my feelings. I can’t even wait until natural takes its toll. Too much hurt. Must end it soon.
What if you let it go?
All this pain, all this turmoil and oppression… Let it go. You’re not going to get anywhere while you let this hold you down and bend you to its will – you need to take control and give this ***** the flick. Free yourself from these shackles of agony, and soon you may find yourself asking “what now”?
Look after yourself, LetItGo. I’ll be here if/when you decide to engage with me again.
What if I can’t let go cause pain is all I’ve got? What if I can’t let go because sadness is the only thing for me right now? Why don’t I let go? Cause pain sadness and hurt. That’s all I’ve got.
You need to channel that pain into other avenues, repurpose it as a form of carrying on instead of putting you off. The pain is letting you know you’re still alive, of course that’s a good thing. But it doesn’t have to be the only thing that tells you so. Sadness will always be with you – with all of us. We need to acknowledge it and carry it in our stride, whilst also seeking out a sense of happiness or even content.
You’re wrong, you have me as well. Silly as it may seem, I care about you. I’ve seen you change drastically since late last year from highly optimistic to…something much different. Through it all, I need you to have a little teensy bit of faith in yourself, and I’ll be here if you need someone to provide covering fire while you push forward through the depression. 🙂
What if I can’t let go cause pain is all I’ve got? What if I can’t let go because sadness is the only thing for me right now? Why don’t I let go? Cause pain sadness and hurt. That’s all I’ve got.
You voice your position well, but Shephard has a point. What harm is there in trying what he suggests, for just a little while — even if you never tell another soul?