The SP got a new look?

Yeah i’m around… sort of… less… trying not to be.

I’ve never been good with heights… but i’ve certainly been craving the end of perception/sensation/awareness/consciousness.

Been feeling ill and haven’t eaten in almost 48 hours… i think a “normal” person would have expelled the remaining contents of their stomach by now, but i don’t vomit easily. It’s not so much nausea as a bizarre feeling of toxicity. It’s most likely that i unknowingly crossed paths with a cross-contaminated shared contact point (e.g. door knobs, fridge handles). A person who lives here (noticed i didn’t say “my roommate” or “someone i live with”) projectile vomited ALL OVER EVERYTHING, had debris and remnants scattered/spread across most of the house… and still hasn’t bothered to finish cleaning up after himself, days later. I’m about to fucking snap. I should not have to tell an adult to clean up their own vomit shrapnel. It’s beyond infuriating; especially because now *I’M* sick. I’m nearly OCD about cross-contamination (i’ve worked in food service, i know it’s important). I can’t stand the way this mofo leaves “mess” literally everywhere… shit like disregarded rogue mayo globs left on the otherwise pristine counter top, which become nearly invisible (or at least tend to blend in, visually) after they’ve sat there long enough, so that other people go in the kitchen and sit things down on the counter, not realizing they’re contacting potentially dangerous filth (e.g. BOTULISM), and then proceeding to further cross-contaminate every other surface they contact, unknowingly spreading rotting mayo globs all over the house, and ALL handles.

Anyway… Sick. Disgusted. Bitter. Resentful.

I need to be away from these people… but i have no way to support myself, which means i’d end up stuck with other disgusting people, so there’s no use making an effort to achieve an alternate version of the same result.