I’ve made up my mind I want to die, I don’t see the point my existence anymore. The only thing holding me back is my fear of the pain before I go, I don’t want to die thinking only of the pain I want to go while I’m thinking of my friends and family… Some of you reading this may question “if you have family and friends why do you want to die it’s pointless?” and the sad fact is that I simply give up, I give up fighting all these emotions and I give up to the pain and suffering hard times have given me because I have taken the weight of the brutal force of life and have decided that it is not worth living for the small amount of good times I have had… I simply do not have the mental strength or capacity to deal with it anymore.
So what do I do, sat here holding a knife but too scared to cut too deep because of the pain… if only there was a less painful way out.
1 comment
The pain and fear of failure holds me back as well. There is no real, painless way to go only a question, is the pain of living greater, for me the answer at the moment is no, that’s why I keep going but it’s a personal choice. I use this site to keep me going and at present it works, it fills an emptiness and loneliness in me, but I hope somthing will change, one day.