Yesterday I got this message in a fortune cookie: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you”
I must be a muthafuckin’ top warrior y’all, be afraid 🙂
It’s true, I have smokin’ hot threesomes all the time, no kidding. The lesbian babes arrive at my door in droves, I’ve taken to setting my pet white tiger upon them when I need to scare them away. (He’s friendly but he doesn’t look it.)
Oh yeah. I always forget that one guy. I hope he hasn’t stolen all my Pizza Pockets again. Excuse me one second. (I promise I’ll try not to go psycho like last time. The freezer is too full already.)
I’m confused, do they come true? I really think the chances increase with the amount of Chinese food you consume on a weekly bases! But that could be open to speculation.
29 comments
Yesterday I got this message in a fortune cookie: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you”
I must be a muthafuckin’ top warrior y’all, be afraid 🙂
You all got some pretty long fortunes in those cookies! lol
I can interpret this in a dirty manner.
@p ^
It’s true, I have smokin’ hot threesomes all the time, no kidding. The lesbian babes arrive at my door in droves, I’ve taken to setting my pet white tiger upon them when I need to scare them away. (He’s friendly but he doesn’t look it.)
I counted four participants in your sexcapades. 🙂
mm, that smile looks creepy, I meant a shit eating grin 😀
Oh yeah. I always forget that one guy. I hope he hasn’t stolen all my Pizza Pockets again. Excuse me one second. (I promise I’ll try not to go psycho like last time. The freezer is too full already.)
Eating after all THAT? What a sick fucker.
The forshn always lies.
I’ve had many fortunes come true..
…yeah…just saying!
Mine doesn’t. The fortune cookie gods recognize how awesome I am.
I’m confused, do they come true? I really think the chances increase with the amount of Chinese food you consume on a weekly bases! But that could be open to speculation.
I agree, although mine are often true.
Persa, do you consume the entire cookie before reading the fortune?
@ninth No.
Maybe they did, i never pay attention anyway.
Fortune cookies actually taste pretty good..
I don’t eat them… I live them!!
*vanish*
My fortune cookies always yield statements that are either incredibly obvious, or vague enough to apply to just about any scenario.
That’s pretty much what they are! lol
Some fortunes are pretty ballsy though! I’ve had a couple tell me I was gonna receive tons of money!
….still waiting!! <•_<•
Maybe they meant “tons of money over an elongated period of time”, you know, collectively.
actually fortune cookies were invented in america for chinese restaurants, they didn’t come from china.
Well I ain’t dining in china, now am i!?
I want chinese food.. not dog though.
And it’s no fucking surprise I’m hungry again
YOU-EAT-DOG!
I hope not! :/ you know I can’t tell the difference when it’s covered in sweet and sour!