There must be a way for a quick and pain free exit, I believe that hanging or drowning can take up to 20 minutes although it can be much quicker but I always go on the worst case scenario and with my luck this’ll certainly be the case. My local supermarket sells Helium for balloons but I bet it contains oxygen as well, damn it.
How much easier it would be to take an overdose and an endless sleep but it’s the case of getting the right drugs as overdosing seldom works but has a risk attached to it, oh how I wish I worked in a pharmacy, I’d have the key to the safe with all the strong stuff inside, I’m sure there’d be something in there that would work. So I’m left with hanging or drowning and a bit of pain either way but that’s ok, perhaps I deserve it for taking my life anyway.
No more paranoia, depression, migraines and loneliness, no more of this ugly life for an ugly person, no more pain, everyday the migraines come, the drugs keep them at a tolerable level just, no more please no more!
Autumn is a good time to go, falling leaves, shorter daytime, dark evenings and before the cold of winter; it’s a time nature slowly dies before the new life of spring, a spring I hopefully won’t see.
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Alcohol toxifies my meds something nasty, and that’s with a standard dose. I never used to believe the hype behind avoiding alcohol when on certain meds but boy…they’re right about the effects it has.
Inert gas is tricky to source, especially for me (damn local bylaws). I have a respirator that would help in that regard, I just don’t have the gas. It’s going into spring for me which will hopefully be my last. I’m struggling to hold out till my birthday next month; now that’s saying something about my current mental state.
Let’s hope we both find peace.
I hope you can hold on for some time to come, SP wouldn’t be the same without you and I’m sure, 100% sure that others would agree but peace is important to find. I also suffer from olfactory hallucinations which are part of the migraines but I am ashamed of it, its the first time I’ve mentioned it on here, people with various neurological problems suffer from the condition so it could be that which is causing it, I’m hoping to talk to my doctor next week about possible drugs which may reduce the effects.
Nias,
I know that it seems like this is your only option. Life is hard sometimes and it can make you feel that its ugly and that you are just looking at it through a glass. Then there is the other side of that, that can be you. There is always another chance, there is a way out and let me tell you its not suicide. Please think about this, you can have a different life. You can be happy, it just takes time and a different way of looking into the glass. Please, if you need to talk PM me.
I am sorry, nias, to hear that you are so unwell, but I fully understand you. I hate to wake up in the morning too. You seem to be a very nice person and I would like to see you happy. You deserve much more from life. You deserve to live because (contrary to me) you have so much to give.
Why does Lonelyplatypus think he or she isn’t deserving of Life?
Health, I just barely make it, I’m old. I am here because my kids are grown up and gone and a loving woman has eluded me for the last 20 years… What are your reasons?
@Whisper86, My thoughts on suicide tends to come and go but I can’t seem to see why I should keep going. It seems so annoying that others around me are living such happy lives while I struggle, it would be simpler to end it.
@lonelyplatypus, I don’t know why you say you don’t deserve life when you certainly do. I read your posts and feel sad that you can find little in your life.
@OnlyJames, I’m 46 and have nothing to show for those years, it’s only misery now.