I tried on Tuesday. Failed. Will not fail this weekend. No energy right now. Waiting for SO to go out so i can go out alone and do what has to be done. My therapist gave me a crisis line, lol. Like I would call. I don’t think so. I’ve done so in the past, jsut feel silly. I’m done .
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If you’re not going to call the crisis line then you can talk here instead, if you want to, there are people here who will listen to you, I’m sorry you feel this way; when your life seems impossible then death can seem the perfect answer but is it.
I feel the same way right now. No energy to do the simplest chores at home. I have never tried to end my life but I am thinking. I just don’t have the courage to actually do it. I have 2 therapist and it isn’t helping. I am invisible to my family and “friends.” I am currently trying to talk about it on here but no-one has commented on my post.
I had a therapist who took plenty of notes, he was constantly writing, it didn’t help me, some therapist are better than others; wonder what he did with all those notes. I am also invisible, people I know all seem so happy and content in their live and then there’s me, they must think am a bit strange or something.
The two therapist I have now barely writes anything. The only time he picks up a pen, is when I say something that worries him. Like I am editing my suicide note or I am trying to find a easy way out.
You feel invisible also? I had a friend of the opposite sex, tell me, “I am here whenever you need to talk.” I have been reaching out to her for the past two weeks. Each time I reach out she pushes me away. Saying that she doesn’t have time, too busy and she tries to find time but she can never find time. My family knows I am hiding behind a fake smile but they don’t care to talk to me. I wish their is a way to take off my “invisibility cloak”.. I thought having two therapists would be good enough but maybe running away for a couple days will help. It may be a final cry for help. Dropping out of college and quitting my job sure didn’t help.
I’ve never got as far as writing my suicide note, my ex-therapist never seemed to care to probe me too much, let me witter on about insects and being bitten but seemed not to care why I was talking about it, just took notes and after 30 mins, goodbye for a couple of months.
I also have a female friend (ex-girlfriend) who says she’ll help and I should open up but I never get to see or speak to her, just a few texts and hell she caused some of my problems, I know I should forget her.
It seem difficult that your family, who should recognise your difficulties, ignore the situation, would you feel comfortable confronting one of them directly with your problems, I know it’s difficult but a cry for help is what you need.
well dude if your really done with life > then I wouldn’t stop you from ending it. Just make sure you do your homework and do it in a way that wont damage your life more and leave you alive to live with it. then things will get worse for you.
nias…
The female friend is also one of the triggers to my depression. She was never my girlfriend but I did sleep with her a few times. I text her but she likes to talk face to face and so do I. For me, forgetting her is not a option. She is a major family friend. In my note, she is mentioned a lot.. I have no idea what to do except for moping around and being really irritable.
That’s a difficult situation to be in, with my ex-girlfriend I don’t have to speak to her, she hardly calls anyway, she knows she hurt me. Do you ever avoid her, she must know it’s difficult for you as you do speak to her, I have no answers to hand. sorry.
I try to avoid her but it’s difficult when she is over at my house about every other day. She knows her limits though. I am planning on getting her alone soon and just emptying my thoughts on her. I have known her for 16 YEARS. Especially since I have slept with her. I hope she speaks her mind and can clear some stuff up.
I seem to be bouncing off two different posts. Yes, clear the matter up once and for all, there’s no reason why you can be civil with each other, lots of people who have slept together can remain amicable afterwards although some find it difficult if there’s some issues left unsorted in one of the individuals. I still love my ex-girlfriend, even after years and years so for me it’ll be difficult.
This sounds similar to me.. I tried “talking” to a therapist about a month ago for the first time. He said to me “I don’t think I can help you as I feel you have more serious issues” and gave me a list of numbers.. It took me YEARS to gather up courage to even go to a therapist you think I’m gonna go somewhere else?! Now I really feel like damn.. I guess I’m just really not worth anything at all. I try to go seek someone “professional” and even they can’t help me. It proved right then and tree that I really am as fucked up as ppl say.. I have written my letters and attempted but not yet succeeded.. Funny how my body can kill my own child but it can’t kill itself.. I never thought it was possible to be such and empty worthless shell of a human. Such a fucking disgrace to life. But I am just living fucking proof!!!!