Eh, Twisted. Who can know what really happened to this girl, lonelyplatypus. I hope she’s alive and well, all I read about her seemed to be just like my reactions, in the very past, where I wasn’t at mind of mine. I used to threat with suicide too people on internet. Guess what. I’m still alive, haha! I wish her the best.
I don’t know who you are and what person you are, but it seems that you have tough time with yourself lately. You look so cold in this post, but it is half honest, half dishonest…I don’t know, but even if you did wrong, I’m sure this girl is fine! And there is always a chance to right your wrongs =)
But, you know, it should be good lesson for you. Never treat badly people. Anywhere. You never know if you wouldn’t be the last drop in the chalice of despair =) If it is your wish, I can give you a lot of my, random stranger’s, attention. It’s good to talk to someone here, I learnt very much from you, people. I came here with the suicide thoughts, now Im more fine thanks to you 🙂
If I thought for one second that you were sincere, I’d ask you to stay. But I don’t. Trust, like the respect ypu spoke of, is earned. Others might believe you, might forgive. I, however, will remember always the cruel things you have said. That you’ve already had more than one chance. That even if LP still lives, you said inexcusable things to her and to copelessness in his grief.
I hope you meant it and that you won’t come back. If that makes me a bad person…well I’m ok with that.
Y’know, there was this girl who lied about committing suicide here awhile ago. What you just said to me is pretty much what I said to her. That even if everyone else forgave her, I wouldn’t. That I’d always remember what she did, and that she should stay away if she was thinking about it.
My point is, you’re upset with me for things I’ve done in the past. But you’re letting your anger control you, and if you don’t learn to forgive those who have caused pain, you’ll become just like them. You don’t need to be friends or even agree with someone to forgive them. Forgiveness is simply a way of moving on, of letting go of the things that they’ve done in the past, and looking forward to the future and making new memories.
For now, anyway. After today I don’t think I’ll be coming back. I’ve turned people against me. I don’t think I could just continue on SP and try to be helpful when a few people already see me as a threat.
I really keep to myself on this site. I see folks getting to know each other and being buddies and I don’t feel envious in the least. I don’t really want the attention that you seemed to have craved. I make a comment or put up a stupid post then log off and disappear for the day and never check back on my post to read if there were comments. Maybe that’s wrong or anti-social, but it’s the way I can make this site work for me.
If you think your words caused LP to commit suicide I would think you’re giving yourself too much power. “If” was going to commit suicide your words had NOTHING to do with it. I can guarantee you that much. Someones life has to be deeply screwed up for years and years before they take this final act.
I’ve read some of your comments and I have to tell you I found them slightly off, they made you sit up in your chair and scratch your head in wonder. Tell you though, some of your comments were dead on the money…a little bit “in your face” but dead on none the less. There used to be another person who posted here named Dredd. His posts were similar but short and very pointed. I loved them..they were kind of refreshing. anyway..hope to see you back here. If not, good luck and may peace find you.
The SP Administrator made it pretty clear in your other post… If you abide by the rules and stop being so “honest” then you can stay here. Personally, I think you’ll have to show some effort to demonstrate to people that, if you remain, your reasons for staying on SP are sincere and genuine. It may take more than this note to change some people’s opinions of you. They say that time heals all wounds… and you can use that time to contribute productively and THOUGHTFULLY to the community.
Personally, I wish no ill will on anybody… you included. I hope that, if you need help in the everyday (offline) world, you’re receiving it. SP can be a big help, too… when people act with a spirit of community.
If you decide to leave, that’s up to you.
If you decide to stay, please keep your brutal honesty either to yourself (or at least think before replying). I still cringe at what you said to DarkestRaven. If you must have these lash-outs, please direct them at me and not the other members of the forum. I was bullied my entire adolescence and still say far worse things to myself than you ever could. Should someday I fold under the weight of your words and mine, it will be no great loss.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find a better world than what brought you here.
I don’t remember what I said to DarkestRaven. I remember being really nice then flipping out at her in the same moment. It was pretty weird. I’m also a paranoid schizophrenic, so I usually feel like people are out to hurt me anyway. x)
TwistedSpace, there are many things I can say, but i’ll try and stick to one general topic.
In your short time on SP, you have hurt many people, and that is dishonorable, but you have apologized for it, stating it was because of your manic highs and lows. After a while, I came to believe that. If you were just here to pry for attention, you wouldn’t comment or try and help so many others, which is what i’ve seen you do.
No, many will not forgive you, even less will want anything to do with you, but I do see your trying and you’ll always have a person to vent to in me.
And to add to what cope recommended, maybe when you’re on one of those highs, write it out in post form, save it as a draft, then log off. Once you’re down from your high, come back and read it. Maybe it will help in controlling your anger. In the mean time, good luck and stay safe.
In all honesty TS, what you need is some modesty and humility. Don’t try to have the last word in anything, don’t justify the wrongs you have done, don’t beg for attention, don’t want to be right all the time, help others for THEIR well-being and not for your reputation, etc. Brutal honesty, eh?
Now that this is said, I actually do feel sorry for you since I believe you didn’t want any of this to happen. I can understand that you have a tough time already being a trans-gender person and I can also imagine how this is connected to your behavior here; you’re used to being looked at disdainfully and with disrespect and that has changed your life severely. Now you treat others the way you have been treated for so long, and that is totally understandable. But if I were you I would want to change myself to be a better person: That’s all about modesty in your case. Change the way you look at people and they will treat you differently as well. Good luck!
Ah one last thing: I guess it would actually be in your best interest to leave SP for some time, it seems like you haven’t made that decision yet. Maybe when you come back in a few months everyone here has calmed down, there will be many new people on here and you’ll be able to try a new start as well.
I met someone on this forum who I got close to, his name was Caleb. I don’t remember his username. I was under a different handle at the time; Serenity of Solace. He asked me to date him, and I made the mistake of thinking he was being sincere. A month or so passed and one night things got intimate. He showed me photos of himself, and asked if he could see pictures of me — he said he was curious, that he wanted to see my breasts as well as my penis. I thought he loved me, I had developed feelings for him by then, I thought it’d be something more than it was. So I sent the photos to him.
About a week later he had changed his KIK name to “<3 Amanda." I confronted him, wanting to know if things had changed, if he had fallen for someone else. He told me no, that he had lost a bet with this person and that changing his name was what they settled on. We argued that night — he told me that he didn't actually love me, that he only wanted to see how far he could get with a 'tranny.' He then told me that he sent the photos I sent him to all of his friends, and that he was cheating on me with this Amanda person. He then told me that he regretted talking me out of committing suicide, before calling me a freak. I would have been dead right fucking now if he hadn't sent me a text that day. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to be with me forever, that we'd make things work between us. So I told my suicide partner that I wanted out, that I was sorry for wasting his time.
I felt like trash, I hate myself for letting myself get played for a total fool by him — those nude pictures of me sent to all of his friends without the slightest bit of hesitation. It was all a game to him..
Things changed for me after that. Whenever I would read other people's posts here, I would see his face, I would hear the horrid things he told me. I felt like I was confronting him all over again. This isn't an excuse, I've accepted full responsibility in this post for everything I've said. I'm simply telling you the reason behind all of the outbursts I've had here on the forum.
I can't even like myself. I look in the mirror and want to scream at my reflection. I hate who I am as a person, and I regret not taking those cyanide pills that day in April.
I'm only telling you this because you decided to consider the abuse I go through sometimes. I don't care who knows anymore. I'm tired of keeping it bottled up. I'm going to go now. This place is like a constant reminder of what happened, and I want this nightmare to end. Thank you, Clair.
you’re simply immature, I like what Claire said. You’ve upset many people on this forum and expect us to forgive you with the simplest “I’m sorry”? You don’t really seem like you’ve truly realized the extent of your damage and how you can properly atone for it.
TwistedSpace… Just let it go. By responding, you’re continuing the perception that many people have of you. At this point, call it a day. If people comment, let it go. As has been mentioned… Let some time pass… Let some new members arrive at the site… and go from there. This back-and-forth stuff that’s happening right now is just delaying your opportunity to start with a clean slate.
I didn’t use ‘peace’ in a sentence I used it as a parting phrase. You should learn what ‘peace’ means as a parting phrase, at least you have realised how “brutal honesty” can be misinterpreted as abuse. Peace.
No hate. I don’t know you, I don’t know the “drama” between you and others. I hope this whole thing lately doesn’t get to you. Maybe take a day or two off from this place and enjoy something else to recharge your mind. Peace.
That’s true Seppuku. I scanned through all the posts to find TwistedSpace’s post and read every word. I laughed, was shocked and surprised by TS’s story of being a “tranny” and the failed love, I got angry at some people’s comments, agreed with others and was amazed at TS’s ability to comment on all of them with surgical precision cutting to the heart of the matter. LOL. I would think TS is Dredd or perhaps was trained by Dredd? LOL. Thank you TwistedSpace…Rock On kid.
28 comments
Eh, Twisted. Who can know what really happened to this girl, lonelyplatypus. I hope she’s alive and well, all I read about her seemed to be just like my reactions, in the very past, where I wasn’t at mind of mine. I used to threat with suicide too people on internet. Guess what. I’m still alive, haha! I wish her the best.
I don’t know who you are and what person you are, but it seems that you have tough time with yourself lately. You look so cold in this post, but it is half honest, half dishonest…I don’t know, but even if you did wrong, I’m sure this girl is fine! And there is always a chance to right your wrongs =)
But, you know, it should be good lesson for you. Never treat badly people. Anywhere. You never know if you wouldn’t be the last drop in the chalice of despair =) If it is your wish, I can give you a lot of my, random stranger’s, attention. It’s good to talk to someone here, I learnt very much from you, people. I came here with the suicide thoughts, now Im more fine thanks to you 🙂
If I thought for one second that you were sincere, I’d ask you to stay. But I don’t. Trust, like the respect ypu spoke of, is earned. Others might believe you, might forgive. I, however, will remember always the cruel things you have said. That you’ve already had more than one chance. That even if LP still lives, you said inexcusable things to her and to copelessness in his grief.
I hope you meant it and that you won’t come back. If that makes me a bad person…well I’m ok with that.
Y’know, there was this girl who lied about committing suicide here awhile ago. What you just said to me is pretty much what I said to her. That even if everyone else forgave her, I wouldn’t. That I’d always remember what she did, and that she should stay away if she was thinking about it.
My point is, you’re upset with me for things I’ve done in the past. But you’re letting your anger control you, and if you don’t learn to forgive those who have caused pain, you’ll become just like them. You don’t need to be friends or even agree with someone to forgive them. Forgiveness is simply a way of moving on, of letting go of the things that they’ve done in the past, and looking forward to the future and making new memories.
Just a thought. 🙂
Still here, eh?
For now, anyway. After today I don’t think I’ll be coming back. I’ve turned people against me. I don’t think I could just continue on SP and try to be helpful when a few people already see me as a threat.
I really keep to myself on this site. I see folks getting to know each other and being buddies and I don’t feel envious in the least. I don’t really want the attention that you seemed to have craved. I make a comment or put up a stupid post then log off and disappear for the day and never check back on my post to read if there were comments. Maybe that’s wrong or anti-social, but it’s the way I can make this site work for me.
If you think your words caused LP to commit suicide I would think you’re giving yourself too much power. “If” was going to commit suicide your words had NOTHING to do with it. I can guarantee you that much. Someones life has to be deeply screwed up for years and years before they take this final act.
I’ve read some of your comments and I have to tell you I found them slightly off, they made you sit up in your chair and scratch your head in wonder. Tell you though, some of your comments were dead on the money…a little bit “in your face” but dead on none the less. There used to be another person who posted here named Dredd. His posts were similar but short and very pointed. I loved them..they were kind of refreshing. anyway..hope to see you back here. If not, good luck and may peace find you.
Thanks, Randall. I appreciate it. 🙂
The SP Administrator made it pretty clear in your other post… If you abide by the rules and stop being so “honest” then you can stay here. Personally, I think you’ll have to show some effort to demonstrate to people that, if you remain, your reasons for staying on SP are sincere and genuine. It may take more than this note to change some people’s opinions of you. They say that time heals all wounds… and you can use that time to contribute productively and THOUGHTFULLY to the community.
Personally, I wish no ill will on anybody… you included. I hope that, if you need help in the everyday (offline) world, you’re receiving it. SP can be a big help, too… when people act with a spirit of community.
If you decide to leave, that’s up to you.
If you decide to stay, please keep your brutal honesty either to yourself (or at least think before replying). I still cringe at what you said to DarkestRaven. If you must have these lash-outs, please direct them at me and not the other members of the forum. I was bullied my entire adolescence and still say far worse things to myself than you ever could. Should someday I fold under the weight of your words and mine, it will be no great loss.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find a better world than what brought you here.
I don’t remember what I said to DarkestRaven. I remember being really nice then flipping out at her in the same moment. It was pretty weird. I’m also a paranoid schizophrenic, so I usually feel like people are out to hurt me anyway. x)
@ copelessness. No. Its not ok for her to direct it at you either. You’re worth something. You matter.
I matter, too. 🙂
TwistedSpace, you do matter… but sometimes it’s good to be selfless and put others first.
I am selfless. I can only be a jealous ***** sometimes. x)
We shall see.
TwistedSpace, there are many things I can say, but i’ll try and stick to one general topic.
In your short time on SP, you have hurt many people, and that is dishonorable, but you have apologized for it, stating it was because of your manic highs and lows. After a while, I came to believe that. If you were just here to pry for attention, you wouldn’t comment or try and help so many others, which is what i’ve seen you do.
No, many will not forgive you, even less will want anything to do with you, but I do see your trying and you’ll always have a person to vent to in me.
And to add to what cope recommended, maybe when you’re on one of those highs, write it out in post form, save it as a draft, then log off. Once you’re down from your high, come back and read it. Maybe it will help in controlling your anger. In the mean time, good luck and stay safe.
~Michael
In all honesty TS, what you need is some modesty and humility. Don’t try to have the last word in anything, don’t justify the wrongs you have done, don’t beg for attention, don’t want to be right all the time, help others for THEIR well-being and not for your reputation, etc. Brutal honesty, eh?
Now that this is said, I actually do feel sorry for you since I believe you didn’t want any of this to happen. I can understand that you have a tough time already being a trans-gender person and I can also imagine how this is connected to your behavior here; you’re used to being looked at disdainfully and with disrespect and that has changed your life severely. Now you treat others the way you have been treated for so long, and that is totally understandable. But if I were you I would want to change myself to be a better person: That’s all about modesty in your case. Change the way you look at people and they will treat you differently as well. Good luck!
Ah one last thing: I guess it would actually be in your best interest to leave SP for some time, it seems like you haven’t made that decision yet. Maybe when you come back in a few months everyone here has calmed down, there will be many new people on here and you’ll be able to try a new start as well.
I met someone on this forum who I got close to, his name was Caleb. I don’t remember his username. I was under a different handle at the time; Serenity of Solace. He asked me to date him, and I made the mistake of thinking he was being sincere. A month or so passed and one night things got intimate. He showed me photos of himself, and asked if he could see pictures of me — he said he was curious, that he wanted to see my breasts as well as my penis. I thought he loved me, I had developed feelings for him by then, I thought it’d be something more than it was. So I sent the photos to him.
About a week later he had changed his KIK name to “<3 Amanda." I confronted him, wanting to know if things had changed, if he had fallen for someone else. He told me no, that he had lost a bet with this person and that changing his name was what they settled on. We argued that night — he told me that he didn't actually love me, that he only wanted to see how far he could get with a 'tranny.' He then told me that he sent the photos I sent him to all of his friends, and that he was cheating on me with this Amanda person. He then told me that he regretted talking me out of committing suicide, before calling me a freak. I would have been dead right fucking now if he hadn't sent me a text that day. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to be with me forever, that we'd make things work between us. So I told my suicide partner that I wanted out, that I was sorry for wasting his time.
I felt like trash, I hate myself for letting myself get played for a total fool by him — those nude pictures of me sent to all of his friends without the slightest bit of hesitation. It was all a game to him..
Things changed for me after that. Whenever I would read other people's posts here, I would see his face, I would hear the horrid things he told me. I felt like I was confronting him all over again. This isn't an excuse, I've accepted full responsibility in this post for everything I've said. I'm simply telling you the reason behind all of the outbursts I've had here on the forum.
I can't even like myself. I look in the mirror and want to scream at my reflection. I hate who I am as a person, and I regret not taking those cyanide pills that day in April.
I'm only telling you this because you decided to consider the abuse I go through sometimes. I don't care who knows anymore. I'm tired of keeping it bottled up. I'm going to go now. This place is like a constant reminder of what happened, and I want this nightmare to end. Thank you, Clair.
you’re simply immature, I like what Claire said. You’ve upset many people on this forum and expect us to forgive you with the simplest “I’m sorry”? You don’t really seem like you’ve truly realized the extent of your damage and how you can properly atone for it.
You have no grounds to call me immature on. I’ve seen your posts. Apologizing is all I can do — I don’t owe anyone here more than that.
TwistedSpace… Just let it go. By responding, you’re continuing the perception that many people have of you. At this point, call it a day. If people comment, let it go. As has been mentioned… Let some time pass… Let some new members arrive at the site… and go from there. This back-and-forth stuff that’s happening right now is just delaying your opportunity to start with a clean slate.
Brutal honesty goes both ways. Peace.
You should understand what peace means before you use it in a sentence.
I didn’t use ‘peace’ in a sentence I used it as a parting phrase. You should learn what ‘peace’ means as a parting phrase, at least you have realised how “brutal honesty” can be misinterpreted as abuse. Peace.
Hm.
No hate. I don’t know you, I don’t know the “drama” between you and others. I hope this whole thing lately doesn’t get to you. Maybe take a day or two off from this place and enjoy something else to recharge your mind. Peace.
Sure. 🙂
That’s true Seppuku. I scanned through all the posts to find TwistedSpace’s post and read every word. I laughed, was shocked and surprised by TS’s story of being a “tranny” and the failed love, I got angry at some people’s comments, agreed with others and was amazed at TS’s ability to comment on all of them with surgical precision cutting to the heart of the matter. LOL. I would think TS is Dredd or perhaps was trained by Dredd? LOL. Thank you TwistedSpace…Rock On kid.