I have been hesitating on texting his aunt for help… but I had a dream about him last night… and woke up crying. got in the shower, still crying, and the whole time I was in there, I just kept saying ‘i have to text sam. I have to have help in getting him out of that situation’ so I texted her this
Sam..this is ali. I am super worried about ryan. I know I saw in his phone he told you he was done with me… I went to visit him over a month ago.. we reconciled… them he went flip floppy on me.. I know he hasn’t been right since he’s been there…. I’m not sure when last time you heard from him was, but Wednesday night last week he called me from his dad’s phone….
he said ‘i don’t think I’m gonna be here much longer’. and doesn’t know what to do if he should get his own place or what. he said something about medication.he needed someone to talk to. he asked how long it had been since we talked. I said almost a month. he said it felt more like four or five. said he misses me and asked how I was doing. asked if I was seeing anybody. I said no… of course not…still so in love with him. he lost his job because he got in a fight there. he can’t get his own place with no job. he doesn’t want to live with his dad anymore. he stole his dad’s phone for a bit so he could call me. told me not to call back because then his dad would know we’ve been talking… not sure why he didn’t want him to know… he seemed to like me when I was there. understood I have problems of my own.ryan doesn’t have his phone anymore. he got locked out of it and now there’s a bullet hole in it. I told him please come home, we can work through this together. he said stuff about he has a bad driving record here. I’ve googled that and his driving record will follow him to any state he goes, except a few and Kentucky and Ohio were not on that list. he asked what would my parents think if he came back. I told him I don’t give a **** what they think. they always liked him until he left. and they’ve never liked any guy I’ve dated. my parents don’t understand mental illness(and I know Ryan has some, even if he won’t admit it) I have quite a few myself, and I realize where i messed up in the relationship… unfortunately I didn’t realize until he was gone. , he said he had to go and would call me right back. so he did. didn’t talk too long because he had to go again he said he would call me when he can said ‘i love you bye’ really fast.
something isn’t right down there. I’m not sure what is going on to make him feel that way.. I haven’t heard from him since. I do know that Keith had been telling him all about the child hood trauma.. and when I was there Ryan even asked him to please stop. I feel like possibly he could be afraid of his dad? I really don’t know. but I do know he doesn’t need to be in an environment like that. he needs to be with someone who loves and cares for him unconditionally like you or me. we have to get him out of there. I don’t know if you have Keith’s number but I do… and he said he never had a problem with you so I think you could get to ryan that way… after everything I still love him so much and want what’s best for him. I know he loves me. so does everyone I have shared the story with. about 90% of those people agree that he needs to be back here. with me, with you, I don’t care, he just needs to be with someone who can prove to him that he IS worth it…. sorry this was so long I know you’re probably at work. I had been hesitating on texting you the past week but I just feel so helpless now….
she texted me back-
Slow down im trying to read it all
Give me Keith’s number
I wanna see if I can get him to come home he can stay with me if need be
Ill buy him a greyhound ticket
gave her his dad’s number, she said she’ll call later today bc his dad is probably at work right now… told me thank you for letting her know….. please please pray for him guys. I would love if he wanted to stay with me but I don’t mind if he goes to stay with her. she lives an hour and a half away, I’d go see him every day I have off. I know she loves and cares about him so much just like I do, and it would be a stable environment for him.
11 comments
I can see how much you love him from reading this and I think you are right about him leaving especially as he doesn’t have a job there, perhaps a stay with the aunt first to collect his thoughts with you seeing him and hopefully things will work out from there. Hope you don’t mind my comments, it’s your decisions that count in this but I know you’re lonely and miss him and the fact you both help each other in life. I’m sorry the situation isn’t easy but I hope things will work out.
thank you… I have no problem with him staying with her. she’s an hour and a half away… I’ve stayed there with him before. I’d drive there to see him every day I have off. I am still anxious waiting to hear from her… I’m very panicky
I can imagine you would be panicky, this is an important moment of time for you and his moving back is important and I worry for you if for some reason he won’t but let’s be positive, he has kept in touch and cares about you and knows the strength of your love to him. I hope he’ll agree to move and if he does move to his aunt’s then see him but give him space if he wants it, this is just my opinion, you know him and are best placed to assess the situation. I can see your deep love of him and your need to be with him so I just needed to comment, to let you know someone is thinking about you, I hope you don’t mind and I wish you the best.
thank you so very much… am super panicky now…. it’s 8:16 pm idk when I’m gonna hear anything..:(
Your story really touched me, I don’t often get involved like this and my normal response would have been to say whatever happens you’ll love again and this still applies to you but your great love for him and that he does love you also, this changes things and you both can have a future, you need to fight to keep the relationship going, it may be tough but there’s the promise of a future together if it works out, mostly I want you to know that someone who’s far away (UK) cares enough about you to respond in your moment of worry and need, please keep strong.
he called me and it was just all crazy idk:(
I’m sorry; it seems that things haven’t been resolved in any way. Did anything happen in the call that was positive, I worry about the 🙁 part of your message, have you arranged to speak again, will your aunt continue to help you, can you get to visit him as a last resort, as you say, him being there isn’t good. I feel these questions are important to ask yourself but it’s only my view and again you know the situation better than me.
You need to know that you’ve tried everything possible, I didn’t when my girlfriend left me all those years ago and that has always been a regret, what if I did this or that, no closure, so it was hard for me to move on. I hope you can continue to speak to him and hope things will work out for you both, love doesn’t always triumph but in your case it deserves to, it really does.
I can’t live like this
he said even if he wanted to go somewhere he couldn’t because something wrong with his truck. I told him I’d come get him in a heart beat
You need to know that you’ve tried everything possible, I didn’t when my girlfriend left me all those years ago and that has always been a regret, what if I’d said this or had done that, no closure, so it was hard for me to move on. I hope you can continue to speak to him and hope things will work out for you both, love doesn’t always triumph but in your case it deserves to, it really does.
I’m not good enough for him anymore I wish I had someone who cared about me half as much as I care aboutt him it’s like he wants me to be alone and miserable. I just want to die he wouldn’t fucking care. I even failed at hanging myself. I fuck up everything