I am a junior in high school at the moment. Female, 16 years old. It’s been almost over 2 years that I have been depressed and in and out of rehab. During that time, I have tried to kill myself more times than I can count. But when it came to that point – actually taking the leap and ending it – it’d be like a chain is holding me down and not letting me go. One of my worst moments was attempting overdose…throwing it up is worse than anything I could imagine. That was the last time I ever tried killing myself, because I realized I could never “pull the trigger”. Then I started making it seem like I was okay – grades went up, never seen crying, and smiling more. But that is a lie.
I am not fond of myself, even though in public I seem to have a lot of confidence. At the moment, only one person knows I am self-harming again. He and I had a difficult past, but I still feel a need to go to him for help. I really want his help, but I keep getting mad at him for being too busy. The past few days he has been ignoring or avoiding my messages. And I am now crying and waiting for these now new scars to heal up.
I am listening to this song right now. Keeps me from going too far. Any Other Name – Thomas Newman
2 comments
I’m sorry to learn about ur past and I hope things will get better between you and him.
The teenage years can be really difficult. I had my first depression at age 14 as well. I hope things improve in your life.