I turned eighteen almost a month ago, and I had been in a remission type deal from my Major depressive Disorder for about six months. Until last week. I feel no motivation to do anything. It takes so much effort to take a shower at night, I went from taking full showers at night, to half showers (standing in the corner of the tub and just washing my hair), and then to saying “I’ll just take one in the morning” and end up allowing all three of my alarms to go off and hopping in the shower to wash my hair five minutes before I […]
Major Depressive Disorder
Right, this is my first post on this site. I’m 16, Cliche angsty teenager. Depressed, Anxious, Low Self esteem, paranoid etc. The full package basically. Recently my parents have discovered about the cutting (and have guessed about the depression from that), and are trying to force me into counselling because of it. I’ve been to counselling before for anxiety, but it did sweet fuck all. Question is, do I do it again? I feel like it would be helpful, because, like everyone else here, I’ve tried to kill myself, and do genuinely want to get better, but can’t see a way of doing it by […]
Hey, so im a 18years old boy who have been struugling with severe depression for about 2years now, and tried to kill myself once…
I’ve been reading alot on this page but never written here myself. But now im in such a dark place i have no clue what to do…
Im cutting myself almost daily and alot, its the only thing that makes all the pain go away since i dont dare to tell anyone how fucked up iam..
But im scared now, i dont think i can do this anymore the last months the suicide thoughts have come back, and they are stronger than ever before […]
I have always had depression; never fully diagnosed, but you know, when you have something like depression it lingers and consumes you, eventually. Ive recently gone through what is the most traumatic experience of my life, last week my partner passed away, age 28.
Since his passing, I haven’t been able to eat or sleep properly, I wake up with stiffness and pain all over my body and I have lost so much weight because I cant stomach anything. I have anxiety attacks when I think about the funeral and even just walking on the street or waking up seems to put me in a panic […]
Well, I almost did it. I was crossing the line before the part of me that hates me stopped me. I deleted my previous posts about my intent for suicide because I felt that they were stupid, childish, poorly written and whatever else negative the other me wanted to come up with.
Anyway, I’ve been depressed for going on 5 years now. Long story not-so-short: my parents have had a volatile, explosive, violent marriage full of mistrust, lies, paranoia. My dad is a HUGE guy. Not in the fat sense, in the could crush a train between his fingers sense. So when things got physical between […]
It is difficult for people to understand the mind and behavior of those affected by true
Bipolar Depression Disorder. Identifying, accepting and treating it in a child, that must
be extremely challenging.
If life isn’t worth living, it definitely isn’t worth dying for either.
With all due respect, if you believe there is no point in living, make it your goal to finding
that purpose. That may be what you need to pull you through long enough to prove you
wrong… or prove you right. But at least you will have tried harder than most.
YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE FOR NEEDING HELP OR FEELING HOW YOU FEEL.
I’m not quite sure if becoming a user of this forum is a means of an end or a coping method. At this point, it really couldn’t matter less.
One day, perhaps, I will fully disclose the ‘origin story’ (this phrase is funny to me, as if comparing the origins of my condition to the origins of a superhero’s powers); the entire tale of my descent into severe depression, my incessant and quite honestly obsessive thoughts of suicide that had lasted every day for a year, and my journey through psychiatric hospitalization. At one point, I had felt that these points in my life were important and […]
I was born with an anxiety disorder as well as some minor facial deformities and cognitive deficits that affect my ability to socialize and have been struggling with all these things along with major depression and body dysmorphia for much of my life (am 21 btw). I have nothing in life, no friends, just dropped out of college, can’t hold a job, and very little family. I actually just met my father for the first time this past year and was hopeful that that could blossom into a positive relationship. But while I recently was in his city for unrelated reasons I offered to meet up with […]
I think I will start posting everyday that my depression acts up.
Ive been depressed since I was 3 years old on and off. It’s really quite odd though to think of a depressed three year old. Lately I’ve been getting worse though. I thought I had been cured of my depression for a while because I hadn’t felt it there. I think the reason I’m feeling depressed is because I stopped taking my antidepressants for a few days…. I know, not a smart choice.
Im gonna see my therapist at one o’clock today.
I haven’t seriously thought of suicide. I’ve cut myself quite badly though. The wounds […]
I am really nervous about sharing my story as I dont want to say anything that will bother or upset anyone 🙁 but i will try my best to express myself in a way in which no one will be upset by.
I was born in Venezuela and i moved to the united states when i was 3, iam 17 and almost 18 now. (forgive me for not mentioning where in the USA i live)
I am really grateful to this country because it has given me great opportunity where as in Venezuela I would most likely not amount to much (not that i will ever amount […]
So I haven’t been updating recently and a lot has happened in my life, so I decided that I needed to somehow let it all out and share with you guys. DISCLAIMER: It will be long …
So idk if I told you but my cousin moved back to my city (he used to live in Chicago) and he’s currently training to be a police man, but something that has been bothering me since he got here.. First of all, he doesn’t live with us, he lives with his other grandma. Second of all, my mom and grandma spend every single night during the week making […]
I will get this out of the way now. I have been depressed for about four years now. I have always hated everything about myself, then everything started adding on top of it until my first suicide attempt. I was saved by my boyfriend’s older brother, who called the police when I told him what I had done.
Since then, I have started anti-depressants and started therapy. I still have days that I hate myself and who I am. But I am getting better. It doesn’t help that I am fat, obese, chubby, whatever you want to call it. After a debilitating injury, I gain a […]
every so often i ask my mom to get me diagnosed with depression.
i doubt itll ever happen, and im probably lying to myself that i have depression but i wish i could get diagnosed within a second. i just want proof that i have depression. maybe some antidepressants to help me cope. my family probably cant afford them, so i feel trapped. ive attempted suicide once. my mom knows about it but she didnt know it was a suicide attempt, because i didnt tell her. anyways. i was talking to her earlier about me getting diagnosed, and at some point she said that my depression […]
I’m gonna level with you, all of you strangers. I don’t know you but, the suicide project is our connecting element.
I want to kill myself, if only I could shut off my brain long enough to do it. I feel most comfortable when seeing my own blood seep out of my skin after cutting, or the pale sting after branding my skin. -not normal, I know- but my dad died about a decade ago and I feel the loss of him most keenly. the marks show me how long.. maybe in a few shots I’ll forget my pain. the scars from my before mentioned pain […]
Ever since 6th grade life has been hell for me. I got made fun of because i was in IEP (special ed classes) and it made me feel there was something wrong with me. My 1st attempt at suicide was in 8th grade via hanging, but it failed. Since then i’ve been having nervous breakdowns and basically feeling like shit.
9th grade was my 2nd suicide attempt. I tried killing myself. I know this is going to sound silly and pathetic but i had failed to impress to girls i liked, and the ass holes in my math class didn’t help by pointing out how much […]
Hello, I am a 22-year-old male. Thank you for reading my post. February 2014, I experienced anxiety attacks due to the existential crisis I was having at the time. I couldn’t deal with torment alone and sought help. I started seeing a therapist, and things were still rough, but in my mind, I thought that at least doing something about it was better than nothing at all. After seeing a doctor, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Both the doctor and my therapist suggested I start taking medication. I started taking anti-depressants. I was told that the drug wouldn’t take effect for a couple of weeks […]
I’m sorry this is so long. It’s my first post. But, it’s a juicy story filled with a lot of pain. I promise.
I’m not sure where to even begin. 10/11 years ago, or the recent events? What I do know is…it doesn’t matter if I kill myself of not. The beautiful star filled sky will still appear each night. The warm glowing sun will continue to rise every morning. The seasons will still slowly change and flow into each other in a never ending rhythm. Beyond me, everyone else’s life will still continue on. So, why not? My father always says, “Suicide is the most […]
Hello everyone who’s reading and thank you for taking the time. My name Blargyness, which is obviously pen name, I’m 25 from Manila, Philippines. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 16 so give or take 9 years. When I was 16 i first committed suicide and I think I never recovered. I have a psychiatrist but lately I feel my end is nearing…
I do not have the most understanding people around me about my condition. Depression is not something really “real” here in the Philippines. Well save one person, my boyfriend. I am trying so hard not to give in. I said and […]
This is my first time posting anything here, so I feel like I should introduce myself a bit. My name is Rae. I’m transgender, my preferred pronouns are his/him. I’m asexual and aromantic. I write sometimes, draw even less. I read a lot, though. I was going to go to college for psychology and philosophy, but I probably won’t make it that far. My favorite colors are white, gold, red, and black, in that order. I really love flowers and reptiles and am constantly torn between the two. Alright, this is just turning into me babbling about myself, but whatever.
Anyway, I found this site and […]
I’m pretty sure I suffer of bipolar disorder and borderline disorder (I also think I got sexual hypoactive disorder but I don’t believe that’s a problem) because I got nearly all the symptoms for both of them:
-I’m extremely unstable,sometimes I easily get so angered that I feel a very strong urge to kill the person(s) that annoyed me (and I really tried twice),but also sometimes I feel so depressed or happy that I couldn’t get angry at all;
-I really wanna take drugs and I strongly doubt anyone will stop me;
-I got chronic feelings of emptiness pretty often;
-I harm myself many times (especially punch myself),generally because […]