If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard someone use that phrase (in reference to anyone, not just me), I would be a millionaire. It is difficult to even dream of getting more “help” when you have taken every medication available for anxiety and depression and talked to a variety of counselors only to have it all blow up in your face. The medication made me put on fifty pounds (which took almost two years to lose) and the last counselor I was seeing told me word for word that I was a selfish coward for even considering suicide. Years later, all of that wasted time, effort and money have only served to make me a more bitter and resentful human being.
In addition to the conventional methods for treatment, I have tried diet changes, went back to school to get a degree, used essential oils, added more exercise, have volunteered at various places, read numberous books on changing perspectives about life, tried meditation and the list goes on. Do I feel better? No. If anything, all of that “help” just makes me feel even more hopeless. I look around at this deteriorating world and it makes me sick to think of all the horrible things that happen every moment of every day. No amount of medication or therapy can fix disease, poverty, abuse, natural disaster, war or the like that happens around the world every day and not being able to stop any of it is maddening.
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I think the reason people suggest you get help is because it’s apparent to them that you’re struggling without help. Being alone and isolated often doesn’t help the problem. In fact, it can make it worse. By at least reaching out to someone, you get the opportunity to make a strategy with someone trained and educated in dealing with a person’s struggles. Is a provider a miracle worker? Probably not. But, particularly for people who have no other resources, friends, or family to turn to, the therapist might be the one who can provide support.
I’ve been on medications that added quite a bit or weight… to the point that I became overweight and had to get on a nutrition program. It was a side effect that I didn’t like but it was necessary at the time. Some of the other things you mentioned (volunteering, exercise, books) are good because they get you out of the house and potentially interacting with others. As you’re finding out, the solution isn’t easy. But you’re trying. If one particular therapy regimen isn’t working, change it. Different providers use different methods and sometimes it takes a few tries to get a match.
You might not be able to control disease, poverty, abuse, and natural disasters… but, at some point, you’ll hopefully have a grasp on the things that you can control. That should make things more comfortable for you… and it should ideally improve your quality of life. Don’t give up just yet. You seem motivated in your efforts. Stay motivated.
I truly appreciate your sentiments but I don’t have the energy to try anything anymore. This has been a fourteen year endeavor that has progressively gotten worse (not to mention the fact that I don’t have the means to get anymore “help” at the moment). I also have no desire to be told by another therapist what a waste of time I am.
I also know that I can’t change the world but that doesn’t make watching others suffer any easier; it only reminds me of how ugly this life and human nature truly is. I honestly believe that the only way to make all of the pain stop is to die. The only reason I am still here is because I have not found a method that is effective without leaving a horrendous mess for someone else to have to find and clean up.
I’m sorry you feel that way… and I hope you carefully think about things and reconsider. A few years back, I was confident that death was the only solution. I never expected to be around in 2014. Anybody who tells you that you’re a waste of time isn’t helping you… and I hope you gain the confidence to realize that and the motivation to seek out other support. If you don’t have the means, check with your State or Local government. They may be able to refer you to local clinics with sliding-scale or free services. I hope that you find some peace and happiness.
I agree. Nobody really wants to help us-they just don’t want anything to change. They don’t want somebody to die, obviously, but they don’t really care how we feel. They just want us to be quiet and ignore our feelings. ‘Help’ isn’t going to do anything for us. We need someone who is going to understand.