You might be invisible, but I can see you standing on every corner of my mind.
Do I report an invisible man?
Do I report a faceless and voiceless man?
I still remember what you did to me that year
That summer day where you ruin my life
I remember what you wanted to do with me
I remember everything, yet your face is still a blur
Who am I suppose to run from?
Who am I suppose to hide from?
I still feel you
I can feel how you pushed me against that house
Your hands were two, but they felt like two millions
millions of hands all over my body
Trying to rip my clothes off
Am I grateful to be here?
I still think about that
I sometimes wish you’d killed me
I have constant nightmares and panic attacks
I don’t know who you are but I hate you
I don’t know you name but I hate it
I close my eyes and you are there
I cross the street and you are there
It’s so ironic really
I sometimes think i’m still there
That I never got away from you
Maybe i’m still there and all my life it’s really a fantasy i’m having
Maybe my nightmares are not nightmares, they are real.
Maybe my life is not my life
That’s all it takes… a moment. Everything in our lives is affected by every decision we choose to make in every present moment.
Earlier today my Mother chose, in a moment of despair, to go to her closet and get her handgun.
Earlier today I chose, in a moment of awareness, to go upstairs in response to the out of the ordinary noise I heard.
My life could have changed in a moment, and hers could have ended, had I not walked upstairs just as she was about to lock her bedroom door.
I just wanted to remind everybody of how important a single moment in time can be. Each and every person, all too often, takes a moment for granted. That applies to the good moments and the bad moments. But we all must remember that, good or bad, our decisions in a moment literally change everything.
That’s why I’m using my current moment to write this in hopes that everybody reading this will use their next moments for betterment instead of possibly using them to live in the sadness of moments that have already passed, & that cannot be changed, which may lead to a decision that cannot be undone.
Hopefully I didn’t waste my moment 🙂
Hi guys, I finished ‘My heart and other black holes’ a few minutes ago. I was reading it second time. Why? Because I feel so bad. I know that I have a lot of mental health problems… yeah… who haven’t here… but sometimes is worse. You know this time in your life (day, week, month) when you feel worse. Worse than normal. I don’t know what I want to say in this post. Maybe I need some space to write about my feelings. I study abroad in London from September. That was my dream, this is my dream. I had been thinking about it since primary school and now I am here. I should be happy propably, yeah… but I am not, not at all (and sorry my English sometimes sucks but I try my best okay xD). I am on good Uni, I have friends (here not many but I have not problem with meeting new people and I have a lot of friends from my country so we can write on Messenger all the time), I like my body/face/apparence, I have a lot of plans for my future- I know what I want to be. So why I am not satisfied? Why I feel so blue? I cry and think about comitte suicide a lot. But I don’t wanna die. Because if I die I won’t be able to realize my plans. I’ll never be satisfied.
blue.
i’m so desperate to find love. attention. hope. maybe i’m just looking for a reason to live. i feel so dead inside, but if you saw me in person you’d think i’m happy. iv been doing this for 8 years, i put on a good act. although i’ve wished someone would catch on. i wish someone would notice. there’s so many things wrong. i just want it to end.
Muerte (Death)
To die to sleep… to sleep… perchance to dream.
(Hamlet, act iii, scene iv)
You are the dream of a God; when you awake
will you return to the womb where you were born?
Will you then be what you were before?
Will your death be a new birth?
–
Is this dream absent during wakefulness?
Luckily here the mystery assists us;
as a remedy of our sad life
our fate remains an inviolable secret.
–
Let your future remain hidden under the fog
and walk calmly as you take your last step;
the less light there is, the more certain you can be.
–
Is our sunset the dawn of another world?
Dream on, my soul, in your obscure path:
” To die to sleep… to sleep… perchance to dream.”
The Immortality of the Crab (Inmortalidad del Cangrejo)*
The deepest problem:
of the immortality of the crab,
is that a soul it has,
a little soul in fact…
–
That if the crab dies
entirely in its totality
with it we all die
for all of eternity
* The title of the poem is based on the Spanish phrase pensar en la inmortalidad del gangrejo (thinking about the immortality of the crab), which means that someone is daydreaming, is lost in thought, is pondering. There’s a similar phrase in Portuguese: pensar na morte da bezerra.
To Destiny (Al Destino)
When I struggle, calmness overwhelms me
hiding your secrets from me, Destiny;
don’t let me falter in my path, because
without questioning I obey you blindly.
–
Don’t give me time to complain or beg;
spur me on without stopping,
and, like a sleepless pilgrim, let me
carry with me the fire from my hearth.
–
I want to win my peace through war;
I want to conquer the impossible dream;
don’t let me rest from trying to shed light
–
on the enigma within your heart,
and when I return to the bosom of the earth
let me deserve an ever-lasting peace.
Miguel De Unamuno is probably the most important Spanish philosopher, novelist and poet of the 20th century. His most famous works are: The Tragic Sense of Life (1912), Poesias (Poems – 1907), Our Lord Don Quixote (1914), Saint Emmanuel the Good, Martyr (1930), Aunt Tula (1921), Cancionero (Songbook – 1953, published after his death). He was born in Bilbao (1864) and died in Salamanca (1936).
I’m very new to this, suicidal forum.. straight to the point.. It’s not that I am going to or really have the urge to commit suicide. It’s the constant thought popping into my head. I will catch myself fantisizing of the idea. But these questions always rush to mind. Should I end it? What will happen to my boyfriend, family and friends? Who would show up at my viewing or funeral? How can I make the death fast and 100% effective? I’m not sure why I take the time to give deep thought if I’m contemplating to die.. can someone help me understand where I stand, what I should do? Extra information: 22 yr old female, rough past, burned every bridge possible, no desire to become someone or something.
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
Reality is boring ! Real life is boring ! Real world is boring ! Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress !
Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.
Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.
I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:
1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in Education). For a truly real progress, we must start to focus on much more important things. Try look up/google for Universal Basic Income (UBI), as well as Resource Based Economy (RBE), The Venus Project, & The Zeitgeist Movement, for starter.
2) We must seriously consider that there is a possibility that Humanity / Mankind will go extinct / extinction. Most probably caused by our own Ignorance & Stupidity, as well as Greed. Therefore, we must prepare for the worst possible scenario, and one best solution is to start building a system of selection for the best few candidates of Humanity / Mankind (10% of the planet’s population, for example), whom will continue the future of our Humans Species in the best, smartest, most intelligent, rational, logical, most creative, wisest, & most civilized as possible.
3) Finally, we must unleash our Human’s greatest & most important potential: Imagination. If reality is boring & very limited/limiting, then the only way for us is to start focusing quickly on how to enter the world of Imagination, and turn it into reality ASAP. Some very important technology that must be quickly developed are: Artificial Intelligence (AI), Virtual Reality (VR), Augmented Reality (AR), biological Mutations, entering our Consciousness into the vast Net, as well as Transhumanism. We must turn the wildest, most imaginative movies & video games for example like science fiction (sci-fi) into reality ASAP, for real progress.
Otherwise, we will be stuck in this boring reality everyday, repeating over and over again, & even it could get worse & worse!
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.
Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.
I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & can’t relate with most people anymore.
And I even can already predict in advance, that people will quickly spout out & say boring things like: “if you find Life / reality boring, then maybe it’s you who are boring, not this awesome, beautiful Life / reality.”
Bullshit.
People who said those words are, in my experience, either usually just stupid, naive, ignorant, and/or boring, lacking Imagination & even intelligence / not too smart.
Reality IS boring & depressing. Especially the more you know, learn, & observe it.
Have any of you heard the “Avatar syndrome” ? Google it. It’s basically the post-effects that many people apparently got, after watching the movie “Avatar” (James Cameron). It’s the feeling of depression, because they’re back to reality again, after watching (& experiencing) such magical, cool, awesome, mind-blowing, breath-taking, & beautiful ‘other-worlds’ of Avatar world.
I wish I live in Harry Potter world / universe , I wish Harry Potter was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Final Fantasy world / universe , I wish Final Fantasy was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Star Wars world / universe , I wish Star Wars was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Marvel Cinematic Universe , I wish Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU / MCEU) was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Avengers world / universe , I wish Avengers was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Lord of The Rings world / universe , I wish Lord of The Rings was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Naruto, One Piece world / universe , I wish Naruto , One Piece was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Mass Effect, World of Warcraft world / universe , I wish Mass Effect was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Skyrim world / universe , I wish Skyrim was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in World of Warcraft world / universe , I wish World of Warcraft was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in AOV (Arena of Valor) world / universe , I wish AOV (Arena of Valor) was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Kingdom Hearts world / universe , I wish Kingdom Hearts was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Mobile Legends world / universe , I wish Mobile Legends was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in Ready Player One world / universe , I wish Ready Player One was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in The Matrix world / universe , I wish The Matrix was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in magical / magic world / universe , I wish magic was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in dragons world / universe , I wish dragons was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in fairy tales / faeries / fairies world / universe , I wish fairy faeries fairies was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in cyberpunk world / universe , I wish cyberpunk was real / is real / really exist ,
I wish I live in fantasy world / universe / I wish fantasy was real / is real / really exist ,
etc etc etc
Reality is boring & depressing , & very limiting ! Real life is boring & depressing , & very limiting ! Real world is boring & depressing , & very limiting !
Fuck this boring reality ! Fuck this boring real life ! Fuck this boring real world !
I wish Virtual Reality (VR) , Augmented Reality (AR) really real & exist, and will progress much faster in those very important technology. Because I believe that Imagination is Humanity / Mankind ‘s most important potential, to turn into reality !
Otherwise, it’s probably better to just die, commit suicide, than to live / survive in this boring depressing life, world, & reality !
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !
Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !
Human’s imagination is better than reality !
Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi ) is better than boring science facts , reality , real life , real world !
I wish superpower / superpowers really real exist …
I wish superhero / superheroes really real exist …
I wish magic is really real exist …
I wish mythology is really real exist …
I wish science fiction ( sci fi ) is really real exist …
real world is boring ! real-world is boring !
real life is boring ! real-life is boring !
reality is boring !
I HATE REALITY !!
I HATE REAL LIFE !! I HATE REAL-LIFE !!
I HATE REAL WORLD !! I HATE REAL-WORLD !!
Reality sucks , boring , depressing , and very limited / limiting / many limitations !!
People / anyone / anybody who said reality is fun & interesting , real life is fun & interesting , real life is fun & interesting , are usually people lacking imaginations & creativity !
In real life / real world / reality , there is no dragons … !!
In real life / real world / reality , there is no magic … !!
In real life / real world / reality , there is no superpower / superpowers … !!
In real life / real world / reality , there is no dragon / dragons … !!
In real life / real world / reality , there is no spells , wizards , casts like Harry Potter , Lord of The Rings, Game of Thrones … !!
In real life / real world / reality , we can’t fly … !!
In real life / real world / reality , there is no time travel , time machine … !! We can’t go back to the past , or to the future … !!
In real life / real world / reality , there is no alien / aliens , cool gods , advanced extraterrestrial beings , other cool creatures with special powers , etc etc … !!
in real world / in real life / in reality , it’s all only about MONEY / business !!!!!! .. . . .
in real world / in real life / in reality , everything is about MONEY MONEY / business !!!!!! .. . . .
i hate money , I hate business , I hate jobs , I hate working , I hate work !!! …
and in real world / in real life / in reality , most people / Majority of people are stupid , shallow , superficial , fake , ignorant , boring !!
I wish Marvel Cinematic Universe ( MCU ) , Avengers is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Game of Thrones ( GOT ) dragons , Harry Potter , Lord of The Rings ( LOTR ) is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Star Wars , Star Trek is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Skyrim is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Naruto , One Piece , Bleach is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Sword Art Online ( SAO ) is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring!
I wish AOV is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Final Fantasy is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Kingdom Hearts is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish RPG is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish science fiction / sci-fi / scifi / sci fi is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish Ghost in The Shell is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish The Matrix is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish cyberpunk is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish aliens is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish magic is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish superpower / superpowers is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish mythology is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish dragons is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish magic spells wizard is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
I wish magic is real / really exist … real-life is boring / real-world is boring / reality is boring !
Most people are lacking imagination !
Majority of people are lacking imagination !
Most people are boring !
REAL LIFE IS BORING ! REAL-LIFE IS BORING & DEPRESSING / DEPRESSION !
REAL WORLD IS BORING ! REAL-WORLD IS BORING & DEPRESSING / DEPRESSION !
REALITY IS BORING & DEPRESSING / DEPRESSION !!!!!
better to die than live or living in this real world !!! …
better to die than live or living in this real life !!! …
better to die than live or living in this reality !!! …
FUCK REAL LIFE !!!!
FUCK REAL WORLD !!!
FUCK REALITY !!!
THIS REALITY IS BORING , REALITY SUCKS , & REALITY IS LIMITED / LIMITING / FULL OF MANY LIMITS / LIMITATIONS … !!!!
in this reality … sadly ,. I am just a loser failure in this Society of Humans & Money …
.
.
so again … Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !
escape into imaginations … !!
if I can’t ,… then better suicide & die than live / living in this boring real world … !!!
if I can’t ,… then better suicide & die than live / living in this boring real life … !!!
if I can’t ,… then better suicide & die than live / living in this boring reality … !!!
..
.
.
I have this one friend, that I really love, like I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with her. I really want to spend the rest of my life with her actually.
But thing is that she’s depressed. She’s suicidal, and I want to help her but I don’t have a clue what to do, I’m afraid I might say the wrong things when I’m trying to help her. She told me she was about to be hospitalized for her depression and she doesn’t know how long she’ll be in there. I don’t know if she’ll have access to her phone and other stuff like that. I’m just scared for her.
But sometimes I don’t think she loves me, or cares for me to be honest. But my love for her is unconditional.
Per say about two weeks ago we kind of kissed, cuddled a bit, and then I asked her if she would like to date and she rejected me, I feel like I took it too hard. But I still love her unconditionally.
But sometimes I feel lost with how she feels about me. Like she doesn’t care one minute and the next she’s there for me. I love her for all her being.
But lately I’ve been feeling unhappy, I lost my appetite for a while after she rejected me and I still have really eaten that much since then. I’ve been having bad thoughts lately regarding my wellbeing. I felt at one night I just need to walk away from the relationship with this one girl, but at the same time I love her so much I don’t want to leave her. I felt the need to just disappear for a while for some odd reason. Like my existence doesn’t matter to her.
I’m being to feel like I don’t matter to myself at that to be honest. For some reason I just feel guilty about her not being happy, I feel the urge to punish myself. I haven’t done anything like that yet but I need some input from the outside, what do I do, what can I do, what should I do, I just have these thoughts racing throughout my head and I don’t have a clue what to really do.
She just told me not long ago she’s going to be hospitalized. I don’t know how long, and personally that scares the shit out of me. I don’t know if the patients can have phones or not.
Im just a 18 year old in Indiana, and I don’t know what to do. I’m going to put this in general and see what help comes my way.
Chronic PainCoping SkillsFamily & Friends EffectsFun & InterestingGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
Hi?
I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.
Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality
Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality
Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life
I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING !!!!
Real world is boring ! real-world is boring ! realworld is boring !
Real life is boring ! real-life is boring ! reallife is boring !
and people are stupid , ignorant , shallow , superficial !!
I wish I could live in Imagination
I wish I could live in movie / movies
I wish I could live in video game / video games
I wish I could live in novel / novels
I wish I could live in fantasy
I wish I could live in sci-fi /science fiction
I wish I could live in anime / manga
I wish I could live in dream / dreams
I wish I have superpower
I wish I could be a superhero / superheroes
I wish I could have MAGIC
I wish MAGIC exist / exists
because this REALITY is boring !! REALITY is just TOO FUCKING BORING !!
people who can’t see this are usually just stupid , unimaginative, dull / boring themselves , lacking / lack in imagination !
this real world / this real life / this reality is very LIMITED / LIMITING in what I can do / what we can do !!!!
it’s all about MONEY !!!
‘Success’ , everything is measured by MONEY !!! I hate Money !!!
We live in a very LIMITED / LIMITING real world / real life / reality EVERYDAY !!!!
Imagination is better than reality !!
Imagination is much better than reality !!! . . .
maybe I should just commit suicide , than living in this reality / real-world / real-life
I am a loser in this real world / I am a failure in this real-world
I am a loser in this real life / I am a failure in this real-life
I am a loser in this reality / I am a failure in this reality
.
Ok, so yes we all know why we are here on TSP.
One way or another, we’re all SPians.
But if you were to go (and we all will someday) but had
the time and opportunity to give your departure a funny
or humorous twist, what would that be? You know, you
get the last laugh sort of thing.
I mean no disrespect to any of you for your struggles.
It’s just a thought.
Take these people quitting and look at how they left their
jobs in the best of ways for inspiration. They checked out of
their [former] workplace in style!
I’ve got a major problem.
I guess I can’t go on anymore.
I think that I’ve been cheated. I think god(or whoever who created me) didn’t have any right to create me against my own will. all religious people react to that in a very bad way. they laugh at me, they humiliate me (and say I have no right to decide about want god should do and what not); and some of them who are not so arrogant try to make excuses for god’s doings. I hate all those people who love god for no good reason. happy people (I tend to call them “happy”) believe that our creation is a sort of god’s mercy. they think that we owe this wonderful opportunity to god. I wouldn’t call this life “a wonderful opportunity”. it’s a mixture of good and bad (I don’t deny some good things in it) but I hate the bad part so much that I prefer not to experience it at all. my problem won’t be solved even by dying, because there is no way to be assured that you will be free after death. it’s most likely to end up somewhere like this (or even worse) and I guess that god wouldn’t just let me go. I don’t know why god has created someone who hates being alive so much. why didn’t god created me like one of those “happy” people? why god created someone like me? someone so unsatisfied of everything. does he want me to suffer? I surely was innocent at first, so he’s punishing me for what? doesn’t he really see me? doesn’t he really realize that i’m suffering because of some mistake he is responsible for? is god so unaware of his children or he just doesn’t care about us? if i’m wrong and there is some answers to my questions, why doesn’t he help me find them? why doesn’t he feel responsible for me? he is the one who created me! he has to make sure that I (at least) am not suffering. I don’t want this life but here I am anyway, and the one who created me doesn’t care about me (if he does, he should show it to me! otherwise no one can blame me for hating him)
please don’t say happy things like “god has spoken to you already! you just don’t realize it!” because if god speaks to me in a way that I cannot understand, so he better go speak to himself.
some may think that my dissatisfaction is because I don’t worship god. but if I worship someone who I don’t believe in, my faith doesn’t mean anything.
I just want my right to decide for ‘being” or “not being”
sometimes I wonder if there is anybody in the universe who thinks like me.
thank you for reading this. may the god finally see us.
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
i wish harry potter was real , i wish fantastic beasts were real , i wish magic was real , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist
i wish harry potter was real really exist , i wish fantastic beasts were real really exist , i wish magic was real really exist , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist
because reality is boring , mundane , and limiting limited
because real world is boring , mundane , and limited limiting
because real life is boring , mundane , & limited limiting !
reality is all about MONEY !
real-life is all about Money !
real-world is all about Money !
Life is boring , mundane ,
movies is better than reality real life real world !
novels is better than reality real-life real-world !
comics is better than real world real life reality !
video games is better than real-world real-life reality !
MMORPG is better than real life real world reality !
manga is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime is better than reality reallife realworld !
Why human’s IMAGINATION is better than reality ??? …
here in our everyday ‘s reality , Life is all about MONEY !
and people are stupid , shallow , superficial , people are lacking imaginations , people are boring , dull , mundane !
(PS : i wish lucid dream is real lucid dreaming is real , astral projection is real astral travel is real , Virtual Reality like Sword Art Online is real , i wish dreams were real … because i hate reality , i hate real life , i hate real world ! it’s so boring , only for people who lack imagination & stupid )
does anyone agree ?
can anybody relate ?
I’m 17. I can hear too many things going on in my head but at the same time I feel blank. I love life but I hate life. Everything is so confusing and I feel a lump in my throat when I try to explain what I really want, so I thought I’d type it.
I don’t want the life that everyone is told to follow. Working behind a desk, getting large sums of money for rotting away in a grey, dull workplace and consistently working for a force that marginalises freedom. I want freedom. I just wish I could run through endless green fields that are lit up by the sunset, lay in the middle of nowhere and watch the star-littered sky, race through snowy mountains, swim in the brightest blue seawater, watch the northern lights. It all sounds like a dream though, a mere form of escapism and certainly not the life I’m bound to receive. I think my fear is reality and thats the problem entirely. On the outside I’m a complete narcissist, I’m well opinionated, confident, outspoken, courageous and a leader. The inside is a completely different story; I struggle to walk properly because anxiety just takes over and continues it f**kwit ways and I stutter if I’m not careful. I look pretty much dead most of the time which I’m pretty sure is because I already feel dead.
2016 has been a really s**t year for me due to family problems, school problems and mental health problems. The first 5 months of this year I developed a plan and wrote my goodbye letter. I was going to leave and it pained me to do so thinking I’d never get to see my loved ones smile, my best friends laugh and my dog happily run and wag her tail ever again. I’d be gone and that would be it. I cried every day and every night for those 5 months because I knew I didn’t really want to die, I just didn’t want to exist. I finally left my room and spent time with my family and bathed in their laughter. I went out for meals with my friends, had sleepovers and danced all night. I took endless walks with my dog, smiling as she raced after the stick I’d just thrown for her. I enjoyed these moments so much and I was so sad to leave, I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t want to exist anymore. I slowly stopped speaking to all of my best friends who I didn’t know were breaking because they somehow knew. I didn’t go into school and when my mum forced me to go to just try things out I would go on walks and visit my aunt. Finally I sat my AS Level exams and I thought I was going to fail because I had never showed to the classes and never bothered revising anything I had learned, after all, grades wouldn’t count in the afterlife would they? So they were completed within two weeks. A couple days later, I went on holiday with my grandma to a beautiful part of Turkey. I enjoyed myself but I could still hear the clock ticking away in my head. Then it was June and I was back home. I was put on medication and took it daily up until October 26th, it is now November 3rd and I feel the difference.
I know I was given the opportunity to squash my suicidal thoughts. But I don’t think the medication will ever be strong enough to do that, not when I feel like I’m slipping away again.
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
I hate reality ! reality is boring ! Doctor Strange , Marvel MCU , Avengers , Sword Art Online , Virtual Reality , games , movies , novels , anime manga , comics is better than reality !
I hate reality ! reality is boring !
Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !
Why Human’s Imagination is much better than reality ??
movies , games , MMORPG , novels , anime / manga , comics is better than reality real life real world ??
if God exist , then God is boring god !!! to create such a boring reality / boring real-life / boring real-world !!
In reality , it’s all only about MONEY MONEY MONEY !!!
or people / Humans are stupid , shallow , superficial , ignorant , that MOST / Majority of people only care about shallow & superficial mundane things like celebrities gossip , talking about other people , status / image / fame / popularity / how to be popular / famous , how to get girlfriend / boyfriend , have kids , talk about job career business profits Money blah blah blah !!
I’ve found that people who said that “No, reality is not boring , YOU are boring ! ” are usually people who lack imaginations & intelligence ( *real* intelligence) to be able to comprehend how *truly* boring REALITY is !
I wish that Virtual Reality (VR, eg: Oculus Rift) develop quickly ,
I wish Astral Projection , Astral Travel , Out of Body Experiences (OBE) , Lucid Dream / Lucid Dreaming is real ,
I wish Science develop quickly & much faster , I wish teleport / teleportation , time machine / time travel is real ,
I wish Artificial Reality is real ,
I wish AI (Artificial Intelligence) is real like in science fiction (sci-fi) movies novels comics games anime manga,
I wish parallel universe , multiverse , another dimension , another universe is real ,
I wish science fiction sci-fi is real ,
I wish Transhumanism / Transhumanist is real ,
… so I can leave this boring everyday reality / everyday boring real life / everyday boring real world !!!!
… if all those things are not real (aren’t soon becoming real) ,.. then I think it’s much better to commit suicide / die than live in this boring reality , LIMITED / LIMITING reality , mundane reality , dull reality , stupid reality , ridiculous reality , absurd reality , harsh reality , cruel reality , cold reality !!!
can anyone / anybody relate ?
…when you think you actually have a friend but then come to know they dont like u and abandoned you.
Fuck i really trusted her but oh well guess thats just part of being me
Its been a long time since ive been here.
I was 14 or 15 when i found this site and im 19 now. Its pretty crazy to be back on here but i need some kind of support. Dont get me wrong ive grown a lot and for a while i felt happy. I thought things get better but they dont. Happy fades and misery will take over soon enough. Except now im miserable about more serious things like being able to pay for a roof over my head. I feel like im drowning and theres nobody at the surface to pull me up.
Sometimes when im driving to work ill just think to myself “i wish id get in a car accident” because i feel so done with life. I feel drained and tored and just done. I feel like at any moment i could die and it would all be over.
I dont even have anyone to talk to about it. I mention how i feel to my boyfriend and he gets angry at me. I know it hurts him that i want to hurt myself but sometimes i nust need a hug and he doesnt understand that.
I just wanna sleep. 🙁
Newer Posts