In my algebra class a couple of boys and girls that you’d typically catagorize as ‘popular’ decided to bully me today. I’m not weak, and I wouldn’t ever let up that I was. I can take some taunting and not act out in any way because I feel like i’m mature enough not to. Well, one of the girls in that circle decided to attack a sensitive area of mine, the history of my family. Calling my mom a whore and making fun of our financial problems. I wont get into exact details of what she said, but let’s just say I ended up in the principle’s office 35 minutes later, having to explain to Mr. Mayfield why I punched a fellow classmate. Do you ever feel just a burst of energy and anger and there’s someone that has to feel the effect of it? I’m not sorry I hit her but i’m sorry she won’t look that pretty with a black eye for the next couple of days. It felt nice to release some of my angry feeling.
In a way I thought about my mom. When I hit her, I was angry because it was true. My mom isn’t great, and neither is our situation. For a second I saw my mom and I just kept swinging. Since then i’ve felt horrible. I would never hurt my mom or do anything to upset her. I love her. She gave me life and has cherished me throughout my years on this Earth. But she’s made mistakes. Mistakes that have burdened me and potentially set the stage for my failure. I don’t know. Am I crazy?
I lost my best friend today. Finally realized she was hurting more than helping. I feel empty honestly, when does it get easier?
We got our eviction letter today and I ended up yelling at my mom. The leftover of my paycheck covered what it could and now we’re 87$ dollars short. I told her if we didn’t come up with it we’d be out on the street and it’d be her fault. She reacted in a way i’d never seen. Didn’t say anything. Just nodded her head and called her new boyfriend over to hang out. Hasn’t said a word to me since. She’s made me to sick to eat, i’m so disgusted by her behavior sometimes. Her boyfriend doesn’t seem to care that we’re going to be homeless, and neither does she.