Thanks for your comments; as usual I decided to postpone my decision for a night. But I know it can not work. I am 23 but I really I feel that the future does not need me and I don’t need it. The worst thing is I lost all my believes even in God. I am in middle of nowhere. I am studying in a foreign country, even I cannot see my close friends and family. Nothing good is not happening around me. I think the time is coming but not to heal my wound but to create a worsen one……………………………………………………………………
Thanks for your reading.. I know maybe I am a crazy person. But nobody can see that outside of me.
10 comments
Before you make that choice call someone please or talk on here. We are here to listen.
Thanks I decided to postpone my decision. But I couldn’t find anything. I am trying for more than 5 years to find hope for living…
It’s ok, I’ve been trying for more than 12 years.
I feel how you do. I want to say it gets better, and sometimes it does, sometimes it gets worse.
And I don’t think you’re crazy. Sure there’s something crazy in all of us, but that doesn’t mean we’re crazy. (:
I’m also here to talk to you if you need someone to listen.
Where are you studying by the way? Is there no way to talk to your family and friends? I know it’s not the same as physically meeting them, but it could help.
Thanks a lot. I am in US. Yes always there is a way but it is not the same. Even when I was around them I had these feelings. I never had a calm soul. Always struggled with many stuff that maybe doesn’t exist. But they made me old. They made me to dream about death all day long and enjoying of nothing. Every one will tell you about me I am a happy person even now I have smile on my face. But deep down something is going to stay sad. Deeply torturing me. Scratching all my soul… I am so sorry and thankful for yourtime…
12 years is a long time for me … congrats
True. Although I feel sometimes it’s much more comforting talking to strangers you’ve never met. At least I feel more comfortable talking about my issues, than I may to my friends, because I’m afraid of what they’ll think.
I know exactly how you feel. I sometimes find it funny and ironic because my friends tell me I’m one of the happiest people they know, that I’m so confident, but I’m the total opposite. At least I act happy so other people can be happy, but happy inside? That I am not.
No don’t worry about it, I’m still here if you want to keep talking! 🙂
It’s better to keep talking than brooding by yourself.
It is a long time…but I’ve learnt to deal with it. Kind’ve. Can’t say I’ve always succeeded. When I’m happy, I remember the good times, when I’m sad, I can’t think of anything but all the horrible times.
And we’re both still young! You’re 23, I’m 21. Even though I wish it could end, I know there’s so much amazing stuff to discover. Talking to people on here has helped me as well.
Oh that’s it. But the life is kind of over for me. I changed everything, even myself, Even my believes. But it doesn’t work. I think it should be over by myself not by nature. I think I have to do something sooner.. I am tired of postponing and not-enjoying everything… if the death is the price, I will pay it 🙁
You were successful once and I think this shows you can be again. If you are dealing with a depression of some sort, this could be hampering your desire and motivation (which, turn, will likely affect your completion of things, as you mentioned). There is help available and I don’t believe this is something that cannot be overcome.
I hope you will reconsider before doing anything extreme. Best wishes.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
what country are you studying in?
U.S.
First off: Welcome to the U.S.
Second it’s a lot harder when you’re away from everyone and everything you know and love. Life maybe seeming to need to come to a screeching halt because of how bad things seem right now, but in time they will improve.
Being able to study abroad is a great gift. Not many people get to do that. I can’t imagine how homesick you must be tho and that may be adding to your depression.
Can you Skype with your friends and family? It’s not like being there in the flesh but you can at least see them.