Today I buried my dog. My best friend an only child like me could’ve had. I had to dig the hole and put her in it. The thing that made me so pissed was the fact my grandmother would not help me pick her up and tried to make me bend her legs to get her to fit in the hole I told her was small. I had to move her body to the side of the hole to make it bigger. My grandma did not tell me she wasn’t acting normal. I ate breakfast, and played on a computer while my dog was dying.
My dog…she was too heavy for me to carry, and she was stiff as a board. I had to halfway drag her. I couldn’t pick her up no matter what I did. I wrapped her up in her favorite blankets, buried her, and sat out there, in the backyard for a good many hours.
Today I lost my best friend, my first friend.
Sometimes I wish I could just “clock out” of life for a few days and come back feeling recharged and refreshed.
20 comments
First of all i’m sorry about your loss, and thanks for sharing this, i know how much one can get attached to animals (the few i’ve had i’ve cared for a lot, even more than i care about most people, lol). At times i feel they help more with sadness and company than most people too, haha.
I don’t know if memorable (it is to me tho) but i had a dog when i was little (i was 2 years old) and had to leave him with my grandparents because i moved to another country. I had him since his birth until he was 7 and returned 3-4 years later (he was on his last years). I didn’t thought he’d recognized me by then but he did and i wanted to take him with me, but he was already pretty old and my gp took great care of him, so i got to visit him a couple of times before he died. I still get a bit sad (but in a nice way) when i remember it.
Thanks.
She really did help me with sadness and company! I was bullied since daycare, and suffered with chronic migraines so my life was pretty miserable in the first years and she made it so much better!
I think that is quite memorable.
I hope, I too, can remember my friend, in nice way, in the years to come.
hugs I am so sorry. I know exactly how devastating such a loss can be. Adding the trauma of no one helping you, etc…that is just so awful. I wish I had words to make it better. :/
No worries, I appreciate and value words of the trying sort too! Thank you!
I hook on to every little bit help I can get nowadays, for life has not been the best in my book lately.
So thank you so very much!
I lost my 19 year old dog last year – he passed from old age (obviously, he was 19) and I still cry looking at his pictures. I am so sorry for your loss! Animals are unconditionally loving and trusting unlike humans…just know that you were loved by your dog and your dog was so blessed to have your love.
Xoxo,
My dog was 15, we’re not sure what happened. She was running around, and having fun the day before, now this.
Thanks, means a lot to see those words.
I lost my golden retriever back in October to leukemia. We didn’t know why he was sick until the day that he died. I was away at college and was coming home the next day. He died hours before I got home and there was nothing that I could do about it. I stupidly made the decision to not call my parents that night and ask them about how the vet appointment trip went that he had that day. I never got to see him again.
I totally understand wanting to unplug for a while. I would say it gets easier but that is a lie, you simply get better at dealing with the pain. My thoughts are with you.
Thanks for your sharing.
I got to say “Good Night” to her the night before.
It’s good to see someone else understand the whole “unplug/clock out” thing. Seems like others around me are too happy to understand it sometimes.
Thanks for your understanding. Means a lot.
My pets have been my most precious companions in life. You have my complete understanding for your loss. That your family doesn’t understand the bond of love you shared enough to be by your side in this speaks for their coldness and lack of compassion. I am with you in spirit. I’m older. So I love my pets like some love their children. They are innocent, pure and guileless. They never lie to you and their love is honest and real. When you can, and when you are ready, there are 100s of dogs and cats in shelters who need someone who can appreciate, care for and love them. I wish you well.
Thank you for such kind words.
I hope in the future I will be able to visit a shelter and find a new best friend.
Thanks again.
This is a great thread, not just to open up about losing our best friends, but to realize how many others have felt the same powerful bond. Over the years I’ve noticed lots of posts on SP (and elsewhere) by people who suffer from depression and their only comfort is their dog/cat. I remember when I volunteered at an animal shelter, a psychiatrist would regularly bring her patients to the puppy room for fuzz therapy. Too bad they never adopted any, though.
I have a pet passing story that’s still to painful to talk about (5 years ago). But I remember it in unpleasant snapshots like you described, Mizuki. The stiffness and coldness of her body. Other unsettling thoughts. For me there was no such thing as a noble goodbye, and to this day I have horrible regrets for not being able to save her.
Verdura has the best suggestion. The only one that remotely helped me. That very day I buried her, without even thinking, I went straight to the closest animal control shelter and rescued a dog who was about to be put down that day.
My new dog is lying next to me right now. She’s not a replacement. Much better, she’s a continuation. By her being alive, I’m reassured that my dog’s death, painful as it was for both of us, was not meaningless. Her death gave another dog a new life, and that’s worth something.
Anyway, give it some thought… Like I said, it’s the only course of action that helped me, and I’ve talked to others who report the same results. Thanks for letting me unload these thoughts. And try to keep reminding yourself what I keep telling myself: don’t think about that last day, or week, of your dog’s life. Think about the happy YEARS you shared before that :0)
Thank you for sharing such an experience.
I think had I never had a her, I would be put in the group of “weird” only children.
She was like a sister, in a way. The kind that was always super hyper, could get on your nerves, then make you super happy in the next minute.
I’ll do my best to remember the Happy Days with her.
Thanks again for sharing.
Salt: Your post gave me goosebumps. A person once told me that he believed dogs shared a giant soul. All I know is that the love that comes from those eyes has the same intense quality. They give us the blessing of being able to love another without being rejected.
All dogs go to heaven
I sure hope that’s true! If it is I hope she found my Grandfather and that he’s taking good care of her. :’)
a flood of tears to honor your friend… so sorry… there is nothing like the love of a sweet pup, regardless of your mood or circumstance they are always by your side giving comfort and warmth. My baby girl Natasha has seen me thru some hellish times, can’t imagine having done it without her- i imagine you lost a little piece of your heart, I would be over the edge too. I think this just has to be cried out – you know? This is the kinda thing even ‘normal’ people have a hard time with so let yourself be sad and grieve the loss of your beloved best friend
XOXOXO-
Thank you for your kind words.
It does feel as though I have lost a piece of my heart, mentally.
Thanks again.
my life goals consist of dying before my shih tzu creampuff aka PUFFAYYY
Those are such cutey pies!
Such a super super cute name to go with!
Don’t leave your beloved friend alone to forge through life without you. Please find a friend who will adopt your sweet friend, ensure his/her life, if you leave.