I just had another weird dream a little while ago! I had a dream that a reporter from a TV station in South Florida, which is known for it’s tabloid sensationalistic fucking garbage in their “news” wanted to do an interview with me to talk about my experience with being into auto erotic asphyxia. By the way, I’m not going to mention what TV station this is, but it is known for the most extreme tabloid sensationalistic fucking garbage in the “news” in the United States, if not the entire world! I agreed to do the interview as long as it is off camera and my identity is kept confidential. This reporter comes by to visit me and I show him all the sick morbid shit that I have written about my experience of being into auto-erotic asphyxia and then he points the camera at me exposing my story to millions of viewers! Lying deceptive asshole! I was wondering about what I am going to say to people who know me after finding out about this shit? Then I woke up from that nightmare! Why did I have a dream like that?
I once saw a sex therapist in South Florida who was a backstabbing stuck up arrogant piece of fucking shit who I told about being into auto-erotic asphyxia and he wouldn’t let me see him for less than $75 a session and I told him that I could not afford that, so he started blackmailing me! He threatened to call my parents and tell them everything that I told him, even though he was supposed to keep it confidential! This same sex therapist got into trouble and the story was covered on that TV station and the reason that he got into trouble was because he claimed that he was a doctor, although he didn’t even have the required degree to make him a doctor. Another lying deceitful asshole and he was a money-grubbing scumfuck! The time I saw him, he acted like he was so “superior” and someone who knows everything and he acted like his shit didn’t stink!
Back in the day, long before SP and before I had inter-net, I wrote a few letters using snail mail to another well known sex therapist in South Florida, talking about the sick morbid shit that goes through my mind with being into auto-erotic asphyxia, but I couldn’t handle revealing who I am and I didn’t want to put a return address when I mailed the letter! I liked this sex therapist and I would see her do lectures at certain events and I found her to be rather cool, interesting and creative! I did eventually reveal who I was and she told me that I should try Sex Addicts Anonymous and I did for a while, but it didn’t seem like it was going to solve the problem. Someone told me that they were going to get me a “sponsor” and I felt very threatened by that and I decided to stop going as I feel that I should only talk about these kinds of things with people I can trust and I don’t trust people! What I did get out of it is instead of following the 12 steps; I can only follow the first couple of steps. That is I am powerless over this condition and turn it over to a higher power, if there is a higher power and live out my life as comfortably as I can with this and someday I will be lucky and I will die from this, while having an orgasm, but until that happens, I might as well have as much fun as possible! This is an example of how dreams can tie into reality?
Speaking of dreams, I have had many interesting and weird dreams. I once had a dream that I was in Chicago and Chicago was surrounded by these beautiful mountains, but there are no mountains in Chicago! I had another dream that I was in Chicago and I had to take a piss real bad, so I decided to hold it in, walk to Colorado to take a piss and then I was going to walk back to Chicago! How long would it take to walk to Colorado from Chicago? I had another dream about having to take a piss real bad, so I decided to walk into my parent’s bedroom, while they were sleeping and I decided to take a piss on the floor. Those are just some of the interesting things that I have had dreams about, which is why I’m so interesting! I know other people have dreams like that, but very few people are willing to admit it! I need to rest up, so I can enjoy Saturday Night at the movies as I am planning on watching Texas Chainsaw, as I have not seen that movie, yet!
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I wish I had a dream lately. I cant remember how long ago the last one was. It was friend and I knew he was going to kill himself. I cried and begged and pleaded, but with his cheeky grin he just took off and said that everythings alright.
Id like to have another dream with him. Id like to say goodbye, but I dont dream at all these days.
As a youngster I had a recurring dream where and motorcyclist and myself were riding the same track, he glided over the terrain smoothly and I bumped and bounced around, trying to keep my hands on the handle bar.
I hated having those vivid dreams where you wake up and make sure that what you dreamt didnt happen.
I forgot to mention the multiple # of times when I had a dream that I jumped off of mountains! No, I didn’t end up getting splattered all over the ground below! When I jumped off the mountain, I was able to fly! It was such an intense feeling of extreme freedom! No wonder why I often feel that I cant stand to stay alive anymore! I just want to experience a feeling of freedom and peace, instead of feeling trapped in a disgusting human body!
Nice. A flying dream. Years ago I had a couple of falling dreams. You wake right at the point of impact. I would wake shitting myself, sweating bricks. I hated those dreams.
transition32,
auto-erotic asphyxia? I had to look it up! I’m not into it but a lot of people are, I don’t consider it as being strange or bad, really what ever floats your boat, I guess if it does kill you? you will die with a smile on your face. I guess the important thing here is your not hurting anyone else.
I often wish that I can die from aea because I feel that there is a much better world for me than this one, but the thing that scares me is it getting botched and ending up in the psyche ward getting treated like shit by bunch of evil brutal assholes and worse yet, getting committed to an evil hellhole like that! I feel bad about the couple of people, who really care about me, but I need a healing and things may have gotten to the point that I may need to die from this in order to get a healing. Those people who care about me will be devastated and they will understand why I would do such a thing someday and I don’t give a shit about most people, but I hate to see my soulmates get hurt by me not being here anymore, even though it might be the best thing for me!
I often hold my breath during the money shot, is that not enough? Must you be tied or strangled?
You have feelings for others and can emphasise, thats a great start. Have you considered a “help me” attempt? Know when someone will be around or call the police as someone else and have them sent to your house and have them find you in time.
You could spend a night in a psych ward, but they will refer you to other services and within 5 days youve seen a psych nurse, psych, mental health team and are medicated. It took a serious attempt for me to get that help. I was found, only just, but found.
Its not being a *****, its telling people, Fuck! Ive had enough and I want help or I want out. Im glad you can identify that loved ones will be affected seriously. You really have no idea to what degree. Suicide can mean devastating consequences to those in your family, circle of friends and even extended family and friends. It tears families and people apart, it fucks people big time.
Keep thinking of your loved ones and your soulmates, why leave them here when they could use your help or just need you. Dont take the easy way and let them suffer alone.
I have lost a couple of people to suicide and I am able to handle it better than most people can. I am a lot more pissed off and upset at the way this world is for causing them to get to the point of taking their lives and with one friend that I lost to suicide, I feel that he is better off where he is now than what this evil horrible world was doing to him! Sometimes, the only way to find freedom is through death!
This aea shit if very fucked up and very deep! There really isn’t a cure for it! How can they cure something that they know so little about? The only and best thing that I can do is find people who I can trust to talk about this. I have mentioned in a previous post that I need somewhere to talk about this with someone who won’t rat me out!
People in the psyche ward are treated like pieces of fucking garbage and it’s not going to prevent them from committing suicide, but once they find out how horrible this system really is, it will only make them more suicidal! It sends a message that the next time they try to commit suicide, it won’t be a cry for help, but a final escape from this evil world controlled by corrupt, evil scum!
Have you heard of Mind Freedom? I mentioned them before as well. They are about the only hope that I have because they might, but with my luck they probably won’t, but they might with any luck know about someone in my area where I can go to talk about this without getting ratted out! I heard that if you talk to a Catholic Priest, he ain’t supposed to rat you out. I heard that if a serial killer confesses to the crimes that he committed the priest is supposed to keep it confidential. Well, maybe it’s because the person makes a deal with the priest, “you don’t turn me in for the crimes that I committed, I won’t turn you in for the crimes that you committed!” Don’t want to go there now! I hope that I can find something better than a Catholic priest to talk about aea. Check out Mind Freedom. They expose the horror stories of the horrendous human rights violations that take place in the “mental health” system!
I once met someone who had a chance to commit suicide by experiencing astral projection! I never got to experience astral projection myself or if I did I don’t remember it? This person mentioned this at a Pagan group that I used to go to and while he was experiencing astral projection, he felt such an extreme feeling of peace, that he was very tempted to permanently separate his soul from his body, which would cause death. The person at the group told him that it would appear that he had a heart attack, but it’s the same as committing suicide and he should seek out “professional help”! This goes to show that even Paganism is no better than any other religion! It has nothing but dogma and mind control and it’s all a bunch of fucking bullshit! I hate all religions! Furthermore, “professional help” is a bunch of bullshit! I wouldn’t mind getting real help, from people I can trust if it even exists? The thing that has worked best is when I had someone who would listen and understand what I have to say! Why don’t I ever get to experience astral projection?
mick9999,
oh your so funny! the money shot! I’ve had a few of those I’m quite proud of!!!! ha ha!
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transition32,
I really don’t know what to say? I’m at a impasse with myself, one if you die doing this what’s the difference we all die, two your worried about others after you die, I understand that you have a Congest, I know it’s spelt wrong, ha ha! sue me! but you see once you die you won’t ever feel or know anything, once the people you know die they won’t know or feel anything, really I sound heartless, I’m sorry, you see in the grand scream of things nothing matters, it’s only in our minds, however! I feel the same way, who will take care of my pets my innocent pets! if I die? they will go strait to the shelter ha ha! SHELTER! And put to sleep. yes on one hand this is a reason to fight, on the other hand nothing really matters, you see it’s a internal struggle with me too, all I can say is nothing wrong with thinking of others, if it gives you a reason to exist.
I was trying to keep it serious, but also not so sterile. Best phrase I could think of, I dont want to seem like Im taking the piss.
Reminds me of Family Guy, Quagmire is caught hanging after auto erotica asphyxiation by Joe and Peter, he was watching clown porn. Youtube it if you havent seen it, but its a laugh, the clowns money shot is a pop then her face is covered in confetti. hahahah
Yes and no, transition. A minister, officer those with positions of trust and authority also have a duty of care. If they receive a confession that admits to murder and the likelihood of more deaths, then the minister has a duty of care for the public to report him. Same as your psych. He has confidentiality, but if he feels that you or others are at risk, then they have to report it.
If you want to talk about killing yourself then call a helpline or lifeline as an anonymous caller.
A suicide hotline has caller ID and people have been ratted out there as well! There are people who are suicidal and in some cases, they may be “deemed” a danger to themself, even when they are not and they are afraid to seek help out of fear of being ratted out!
the problem with the fact that being a ‘danger to yourself’ is a reportable liability is that it’s subjective and people can tend to take things out of proportion and amplify what a person says into something that it’s not. regardless, I don’t believe that it’s anybody’s responsibility to keep a person safe from themselves if they are a mature, clear headed individual. so many people masquerade with a white knight facade, my therapist used to tell me “I will do anything it takes to keep you safe even if that means calling the emergency team blah blah I care about you and your life blah” which just reeks with egotism. perhaps people like that are genuinely concerned, but their concern is selfish because they do not acknowledge the other person’s needs and feelings and when they act on their concern it infringes on the person’s autonomy. I can’t stand those people.
I totally agree! Someone who rats me out is not my friend and I will hate their fucking guts if they do! When the time comes to end my life, it’s my business and I will feel that it’s will be the best thing to do. A lot of shit has happened and I am trying to live out my life the best that I can for as long as I can with intense suicidal temptations. I have had things that I mentioned that are amplified and taken out of context. I have been accused of planning on shooting people out of things that I have talked about in my spoken words! I’m not threatening anyone and I’m not planning on shooting anyone! I don’t even have a gun! People have taken things that I say out of context and I am sick and tired of that fucking bullshit! I once had someone accuse me of putting black magic hexes on people because I was talking about witchcraft! People are fucking idiots!
PS: I enjoyed Saturday Night at the Movies, while watching the Texas Chainsaw movie. The graphic violence in that movie was wonderful!