Recently I decided to take matters into my own hands and end my life. I’ve set the date (New Years Eve) the time and the place. I have even decided who I want to be present. The thing is, I am not actually that suicidal. I just understand that I have no further use on this planet. More people need to come to this realization. I have been kicked out of school and have a pretty crappy future because of a lack of new options for my life. I’m far too intelligent to work at McDonald’s or Wendy’s forever and quite frankly it is beneath me. If I were to live then it would be for a far greater purpose than making someone a burger and saying come again. I’m 20 years old and I can’t drive and my father has done all he could to control every aspect of my life. He takes credit for all my success yet blames every failure or wrongdoing on me. It just doesn’t work that way. Hell in high school he told me who my friends could and couldn’t be and I was never allowed to leave the front of my house unattended. I couldn’t sit in the front seat of his car and I couldn’t stay home alone. This is not the life for someone like me. Now I am still stuck at home getting treated like I’m 10 and I decided that if my life does not move forward soon then I am just going to end it. I have been putting forth an effort to improve but if things are not better by my set date then it is all over. I am going to call my family down the stairs sit them down and explain what I have decided to do. And I’m going to tell them all the things I believe and force them to see the flaws in themselves. Afterwards I will pull the trigger and move happily out of this world. I’m not some whinny ***** who is sad because daddy and mommy don’t love me so that is not why I’m going to kill myself. I not some depressed punk taking the cowards way out. Lastly, I don’t hate the idea of living and I’m not mental. People have some stupid reasons for wanting to die with no logic behind them. I have more reasons that it all ends on December 31 but I do no see the need to continue typing. Therefore I want to end with this. 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1… HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!
2 comments
Hard to get any sympathy for your pain when you trash pretty much every member of this forum. Was that really your intention? I doubt it.
I think you came here to share your story and get some constructive feedback. So no matter your insults towards the rest of us whiny bitches and cowards, I will try to do that.
It’s tough when your outlook for the future isn’t good. No one wants to be stuck at a job they are overqualified for. But you lack the life experience necessary to assert that any job is beneath you. All work is honorable at its core.
If you got kicked out of school, then why not apply to other schools? Some school out there will give you a second chance, if you choose to try and take it.
Btw, take it from someone who has been at it for a few months now. Killing yourself is much harder than you think. Especially shooting yourself. Read up on the statistics before you try anything. Chances are your attempt will not succeed, and will only leave yourself in worst condition than before.
You can leave your parents house and never talk to them again.
Think about that.
Leave. Distance yourself. Create a new life.
Your past can be a chapter in a book that doesn’t get revisited.
You can start a new life which doesn’t include toxic influences from the past.