The last time I posted on here was back in 2018.. Since then so much has changed. I was in a shitty relationship for 2 years that went to shit, I graduated high school which I thought I never would and I made it past 18 years. I went through hell during the last two years of high school would be an understatement but I am past that now and do not want to relive it. I stopped counting how long I am clean of cutting for and would not be able to give you an estimate. I do rely on other coping mechanisms that […]
This is just my quick summary rant of my wanting to die, yes I know what I’ve written is long and messy but believe me I have left out a lot of details, this really is a summary and I just need to let it out, any comments even if mean are appreciated, I can’t let anyone know what I’m planning so being able to be open like this makes me feel just a tiny bit better
Was diagnosed with depression in middle school, my mother is agoraphobia so since middle school I’ve had to shop for her, take care of her and the house, I […]
D1,
My life is a disaster, at least in my point of view.
I think about suicide, although I know I’m not capable of doing it. ‘What if I killed myself right now?’ I think.
Would someone even care? Some of them would, but it would heal very fast. I commonly try to ignore that.
Firstly, I want to say something that made me happy today: finding this website. My life has been so devastating and anxious, and that’s not even the worst part! The worst is that I don’t trust anyone completely to tell them my problems and thoughts. I’m […]
Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]
1. Take any sort of pill: My last suicide attempt was an attempted overdose. I spent 12 hours puking and dry-heaving. Now, even the thought of taking any sort of medicine in pill form makes my stomach turn.
2. Talk to my family about my mental health: They don’t understand why I feel the way I do. They don’t understand why I feel depressed, and they refuse to change their mindsets. I’ve tried to explain it to them, but nothing ever really changes.
3. Brush people off: I know what it feels like to have my feelings be brushed off and ignored. I refuse to […]
By: yours truly (a sick in the head teenager)
TW ig idk how to do this lol um sh suicidal thought and questioning everything and also SA
Why? A question I find myself asking quite often. What is the point in anything if its all nothing. In 150 years, everyone who is alive at this moment, will be dead. Including yours truly. Though it is up to us how we spend those years. A sad realization my 13 year old self has come to is, in lets say 500 years, no one will know of my existence and probably yours as well. Unless of course you […]
Metamorphosis
As the wind turns and picks up a leaf to take it on its own journey, the same are our lives and mine. It al begun when i was child: My dad and my mom broke up before my birth. His present for my mom as I was born: a cactus. I love him, very dearly. My stepdad took his place. well not really place, he merely existed in my life as a puzzle piece that doesn’t really fit in, but was good enough to give the false image of an complete picture. He argued a lot with my mother, more than once it woke […]
[no censor]
I don’t wanna fucking live anymore. I hope there’s no afterlife. I just want to die, and that is fucking it. If there was another realm or anything of the sort, I’d seriously be more fucked up than I’m now ‘cause I think the problem is not just with my body and my mind, but also with my soul – if there is any. I feel like some evil maggot has drilled a hole so deep in my skull that it is controlling every fucking thing that’s me. I just wanna be gone. Forever. I wanna die, and I don’t give a fuck about anyone. […]
Hi ok so idk why i feel like people cared more about me during school? Omg that sounds so narcissistic but i feel like i got more attention during school. Ah i hate saying that but its true and its sad that its true. That i simply don’t have happiness within myself but from attention of others.
And so now all my friends are doing there own thing which i think is great! i really do think its great but idk i just miss the attention ig. I miss feeling like people actually cared what i had to say. now i say something to someone and […]
One thousand, one hundred and fifteen days have gone by since we discovered you were no longer a part of this universe, our universe. It has gotten easier to process but it’s still not easy. The shock of it never ceases. It is still surreal. How can I summarize in words the cluster of pain we feel everyday given your absence? Let’s see. The reality that you are missing and missed our daughter and son’s 16th birthdays, his phenomenal culinary […]
You also must be ‘smart’ especially in terms of knowing how to make money. And often times, that also means you also have to be opportunistic, follow the system & rules (just like everybody else), even be cunning, sly, ruthless, brash, full of tricks, greedy, selfish, ready to step on other people who are ‘weaker’ (eg: poorer, etc).
Money is everything in our modern society today, unfortunately. It’s all about money nowadays. And if you can’t beat the system, then you have to join them. Everyday you are forced to survive, or for survival. And if you’re not strong enough to follow the system/rules, then too […]
i’m 18 and i have a three year old, i still live with my parents for support but i can’t do it anymore. mentally. they’re constantly bringing me down. everyday they walk into the house i feel myself tense up. get frustrated. i can never say anything because they’re my support system. if i had a way out to make money some how i’d get out of here in a heart beat. i’ve even thought about killing myself it’s gotten that bad. but i can’t stand the thought of leaving my son in this hellhole with them. i have it so good here but what’s […]
i’m such a disappointment. my first semester in college i did shit. i was put on academic probation and i have yet to tell anyone, not even my parents. i’m going to fail out of college because i’m so fucking dumb. i either don’t get anything or i’m just stupid and too depressed to get up and do my shit. i have no fucking job cause i’m dumb. i have no one, no friends to talk to. i’ve been relying on apps to meet people and even then i somehow disappoint them. ill probably end up lonely since i’m too fucking scared to kill myself […]
i’m so desperate to find love. attention. hope. maybe i’m just looking for a reason to live. i feel so dead inside, but if you saw me in person you’d think i’m happy. iv been doing this for 8 years, i put on a good act. although i’ve wished someone would catch on. i wish someone would notice. there’s so many things wrong. i just want it to end.
I came across this website tonight as I was drowning in my tears looking for a way out of this hell hole. not sure what im doing here, but this feels right. I need somewhere to write my thoughts and I need someone to listen. so here it is, my name is hannah (as you can see by my username which I didn’t know I couldn’t change.) I am not okay. I am depressed. and today I realized this when I was asked if I was okay and I cried before I could even say “im fine” as I would usually say. I have no […]
What really is the meaning of life? I cost my parents a bunch of money and feel like a burden on them. I have 2 friends that actually seem to care about me. My work is dropping me. If I end it, i will no longer have to feel this way. People will be sad, but I won’t have to think about it when I’m dead. Therapy doesn’t seem to do anything for me.
(tl:dr- hi, I’m depressed too)
I discovered this site back around March 2018. I used to check it every night or so, just see what others were going through. Since then I’ve checked it now and then, but not much. The only name that still sticks in my head is Clipped Wings, I forget why though.
I’ve been depressed for a few months over a year now, and I think making an account here might help, and give me the chance to help others. I’ve always thought of killing myself, I’ve come close only a few times though.
I’ve had a girlfriend for the past year. […]
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/PROJ-85.mp3
I can’t stop shaking.
I’ve been lying to my parents for 3 years. They think I’m about to graduate from university when in fact I haven’t been going to school. My parents are so proud of me. It’s all a lie. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I have no friends, I have nobody except for my parents, where do I even begin to pick up my life? The son that they love is a complete lie, he doesn’t exist. i have had really bad social anxiety and depression that i haven’t been able to even get up and go to class.My […]
To have been broken and fed to hounds,
Restiched and tossed once more. I must find my own paths alone.
For I am too broken to be man,
Too heartbroken to feel winds,
Too thought provoken to be alive.
I question whether I should attempt once more, knowing very well that I’ve failed countless of times, but what else am I supposed to Do?
After all that has happened, just forget?
Pretend that it never occurred.
I believe we suffer longer than others,
I understand you want to better yourself, but in doing that it moved me eleven steps back.
I’ll act happy to win you back, maybe that’ll work.
Because with my thoughts invoked in […]
No life is perfect- I know that very well.
Im from a broken family but at an early age of 5 I have no choice but to accept reality.
I’ve always been a good daughter (at least that’s what I believe). I studied hard for my mom because I know how hard it is for her to raise us, I dont want her to be disappointed in me so I always tried my best in school and promise myself to help her when I graduate.
Now, it’s been a year since I graduated from college. I already found a job right after graduating but I […]
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